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I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
So, i've been struggling with my gender identidy for the past 8+ years (basically since puberty hit) and considered myself ftm trans, but i was never really comfortable considering myself as either male nor female, HOWEVER i do want to get top (including removal of nipples) and bottom surgery. I feel most comfortable calling myself agender, but due to me wanting surgery i'm unsure if it would be acceptable to call myself agender.
tldr: i want bottom surgery, am i still agender
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Yesterday, I decided to commit suicide, so I went out into the woods at dawn, planning to take my own life in the splendor of the sunrise; a final moment of light in what had been a persistently dark life. Looking back now, it seems lame, almost comically dramatic. But I’m not posting this to talk about myself, and my reasons for having wanted to die are not important. I now want to live, need to live, if only to relate a story that isn’t my own, but one that is, unfortunately, ultimately details the end of another’s life.
I found a leather-bound journal, evidently a fairly expensive one—judging by the page quality and general construction—lying in a shallow ditch, near the spot where I’d planned on taking my own life. The ground around it was disturbed, as if, sometime during the previous night, its owner had struggled to superficially bury it before being dragged away. There was a great swath etched away in the dirt to suggest and support this conclusion.
Aside from the dirt, there were a few stains on the surface of the journal, and more than one page was covered with—or stuck to another by—dark splotches – presumably blood. Darkly intrigued, I decided to forestall my self-destruction, and left the woods with it in my possession. I’ve always enjoyed reading, especially the journals and stories of people who’ve endured terrible or chaotic events, and my curiosity was no less potent at that moment, despite my resolution to die. Thankfully, I hadn’t announced my suicide—directly or subtlety—to anyone, and was able to return to my home without having to explain myself or dismiss worries.
I read the journal once, and then when my nerves returned to me and I’d finished pacing around my bedroom, I read it again, this time with a morbid fascination. I’ve now decided to copy the entries, word for word, onto my computer in a document, and will be uploading them online, so that this person’s tragic, grisly, and terrifying story can be shared with the world. They cannot do it themselves, and having found the journal, it’s now my duty to give voice to their tragedy. It is a long story, so I will relate it in parts. I can only copy so much at a time before becoming filled with anxiety and a sympathetic terror.
There seem to be a few entries missing, most notably in the beginning, where the person’s story seems to pick up in the middle of the horrific experience. Later on, they make vague suggestions of the nightmare’s origin, but the “first” entry is m
... keep reading on reddit ➡For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Buenosdillas
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
