Youβll do a lot of dumb things in your youth, son, and thatβs okay, because most of the consequences wonβt follow you into adulthood. But you know what will always come back to haunt you?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 15 2021
He was sentenced to drinking spruce tea or leaving for 6 months because he was teaching the youth how to be passive-aggressive. His disciple Playdoh wrote half a screenplay about him before giving up and finding a real job.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 28 2020
The fountain of youthβ¦
β¦flows into the Juve-Nile.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
A youth soccer team that won gold at a tournament also stopped a thief that same day.
And he would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those medalling kids.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
Well I mean I would be mad...
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Jun 10 2020
Iβm surprised 8:54 hasnβt yet become a more popular time with the youths.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 23 2020
A guyβs Mom comes to visit him at his job at the aquarium where she finds him feeding a baby dolphin. She says look at you, you were smart. You could have had a real job, really done some good for the world. Her son snapped back,...
Hey, my job serves a youthful porpoise!
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
A competition entry at Youth club
π︎ 17
π
︎ Apr 05 2019
Do you know why today's youth is so odd?
π︎ 32
π
︎ Mar 26 2019
I found the Fountain of Youth and sat in it for early 5 hours!
I don't think it works though... I didn't get any younger. In fact, I got more wrinkly!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 29 2019
Church Alter Ego
This youth pastor is usually very humble, but once he stands on pulpit, he gets proud.
I think itβs his Altar ego
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 13 2020
In my youth, I was dumb enough to spend money on expensive beers.
Iβm now older Bud weiser.
π︎ 153
π
︎ Mar 05 2018
Special Report: Execution Botched Today Due to Hangman's Absence During Knot Tying Seminar in his Youth
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 18 2019
Youths in Asia is an issue worth discussing.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Dec 28 2017
Youthful slang?
My son has not stopped asking me to do a "fortnight dance" for days now, I'm unsure of why he would want me to dance for an entire fortnight so I decided to check this subreddit to see if it's merely a joke commonly used against dads, can anyone help, thanks in advance
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 02 2019
How does a martial artist greet the youth?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 13 2019
Fountain of Youth jokes never get old
π︎ 44
π
︎ Jun 25 2018
From r/worldnews: Kremlin fears meddling as Russian youth say 'enough of Putin'
"We're not putin up with him anymore" they said.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 20 2017
To all the youth, the one thing I have learned throughout the years...
Is that I'm older than you.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 11 2018
I found the fountain of youth.
It was outside the bathrooms at the mall, right next to the one for adults.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 19 2018
Got some of my youth group
I'm currently on a weekend away with a local youth group near me since they needed more leaders. Someone explained to me that there was a leak in one of the boys bedrooms that needed fixing. I exclaimed "a leak? Why are they taking vegetables to their rooms?"
Suffice to say groans were had all around.
π︎ 66
π
︎ Jul 24 2015
π︎ 26
π
︎ Oct 01 2015
What did the urban youth say in the suburban yoga studio?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 31 2017
I asked my boss if he would donate to my organization that provides medical support to Asian children with terminal diseases so they donβt have to be put down.
He hasnβt responded yet, but when he does Iβll find out if he supports youth in Asia.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 11 2020
Why did the youth pastor show show his kids a horror movie?
To scare the hell out of them.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 05 2016
The youth center in my town is teaching the art of dad joking well.
π︎ 18
π
︎ May 27 2014
A show about nuclear science is renamed to "get with" the youth.
Its new name is "Rad Rads."
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 28 2015
The local seniors care home rejected my offer to speak to residents about the advantages of being young in far-eastern countries...
apparently it is not "appropriate" to talk to residents about the benefits of youth in asia.
π︎ 17
π
︎ May 31 2020
Youth Pastor got me on this one after I made a joke involving my waitress girlfriend.
Facebook post:
We've only been dating a little less than 6 months, in high school, and she's already serving me dinner for the 4th time.
His comment (Father of 4 kids):
I've heard of second breakfast, but fourth dinner? Aren't you full yet?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 09 2014
Church youth group trip home
While driving 11 kids and one adult home from a weekend trip, I had this gem.
One of kids pointed out a trampoline sales place, so the (only) obvious response was:
Yea, their sales are up and down.
I got a collective groan from everybody, and it was grand.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 20 2015
Two parrots sat on a perch.
One says to the other "Do you smell fish?"
Credit to my partner who's dad used this as his go to joke in her youth
π︎ 48
π
︎ Jul 19 2019
What do you call an Chinese child that's depressed?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 28 2019
I just saw some guys laying concrete in front of an elementary school.
They were paving the way for our youth.
π︎ 47
π
︎ Sep 11 2019
Buwanna
I recall from my youth, a time of great adventure. My friends and I on safari hunting the Great North-American Man-Eating Female Butt-Ox.
The hunt was difficult and expensive. Once one has been identified as an acceptable specimen you need to slow its wits and dull its decision making process. This is best accomplished with loud music, flashing lights and alcohol. But even then the hunt can be foiled by rushing in to early. If you're successful, you then need to separate it from the pack. This is the trickiest bit as less than ideal pack members will often fight ruthlessly to "protect" your target.
But even the most successful outings are not without risk. On several occasions I found myself entangled in a wrestling match for hours. But there lies the fruit of the hunt...
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 28 2019
I use the "Hi Hungry, I'm Mom" joke so often...
My 4 year old son started telling me he wants to eat by saying "I'm hungry but I'm not called that, I just want some food."
π︎ 202
π
︎ Mar 22 2014
Somebody finally found a use for adult-only bars
Weird. I always thought they were youth-less
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 10 2019
Yoth
Now that's a sign of a misspelt youth.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 14 2019
My attempted dad joke failed pretty hard on one of the kids I work with today.
My plan:
Me: Hey, do you have any snoo?
Youngster: Huh? What's snoo?
Me: Nothing much, thanks for asking. What's new with you?? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahha
What really happened
Me: Hey, do you have any snoo?
Youngter: sensing a trap No, I think most of the snoo is up in the north east lately.
Me: Stunned silence
π︎ 51
π
︎ Jan 28 2015
My dad always said Iβd be going to summer camp in China.
He said it was called βYouth in Asiaβ I was SO bummed when I figured out what he meant.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 04 2018
I heard of this new death metal band that likes double entendres. Their name?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 13 2018
I asked my boss to donate to support Asian children with terminal illnesses.
He hasnβt responded yet, but when he does Iβll find out if he supports youth in Asia.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Aug 11 2020
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