You’ll do a lot of dumb things in your youth, son, and that’s okay, because most of the consequences won’t follow you into adulthood. But you know what will always come back to haunt you?

A ghost boomerang

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisoatkins
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
He was sentenced to drinking spruce tea or leaving for 6 months because he was teaching the youth how to be passive-aggressive. His disciple Playdoh wrote half a screenplay about him before giving up and finding a real job.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NRGFalcon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
The fountain of youth…

…flows into the Juve-Nile.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A youth soccer team that won gold at a tournament also stopped a thief that same day.

And he would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those medalling kids.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ninety-five95
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Well I mean I would be mad...
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxDr-Beckyxx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m surprised 8:54 hasn’t yet become a more popular time with the youths.

Because it’s 6to9.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/petthelizardharry
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy’s Mom comes to visit him at his job at the aquarium where she finds him feeding a baby dolphin. She says look at you, you were smart. You could have had a real job, really done some good for the world. Her son snapped back,...

Hey, my job serves a youthful porpoise!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProjectOcoee
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
A competition entry at Youth club
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ManILoveFarming
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know why today's youth is so odd?

Because they can't even

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubeykeebler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I found the Fountain of Youth and sat in it for early 5 hours!

I don't think it works though... I didn't get any younger. In fact, I got more wrinkly!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kickballer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Church Alter Ego

This youth pastor is usually very humble, but once he stands on pulpit, he gets proud.

I think it’s his Altar ego

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leonelritchie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
In my youth, I was dumb enough to spend money on expensive beers.

I’m now older Bud weiser.

πŸ‘︎ 153
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Special Report: Execution Botched Today Due to Hangman's Absence During Knot Tying Seminar in his Youth

Breaking Noose

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeywithanr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Youths in Asia is an issue worth discussing.
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aristofanis
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Youthful slang?

My son has not stopped asking me to do a "fortnight dance" for days now, I'm unsure of why he would want me to dance for an entire fortnight so I decided to check this subreddit to see if it's merely a joke commonly used against dads, can anyone help, thanks in advance

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ICDTAITP
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a martial artist greet the youth?

Ai, kiddo!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vvt2003
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Fountain of Youth jokes never get old
πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
🚨︎ report
From r/worldnews: Kremlin fears meddling as Russian youth say 'enough of Putin'

"We're not putin up with him anymore" they said.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nikhilbhavsar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2017
🚨︎ report
To all the youth, the one thing I have learned throughout the years...

Is that I'm older than you.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
🚨︎ report
I found the fountain of youth.

It was outside the bathrooms at the mall, right next to the one for adults.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaoticFather
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Got some of my youth group

I'm currently on a weekend away with a local youth group near me since they needed more leaders. Someone explained to me that there was a leak in one of the boys bedrooms that needed fixing. I exclaimed "a leak? Why are they taking vegetables to their rooms?"

Suffice to say groans were had all around.

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SmashMetal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2015
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/izak1399
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2015
🚨︎ report
What did the urban youth say in the suburban yoga studio?

What's Up-Dog?

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boop66
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2017
🚨︎ report
I asked my boss if he would donate to my organization that provides medical support to Asian children with terminal diseases so they don’t have to be put down.

He hasn’t responded yet, but when he does I’ll find out if he supports youth in Asia.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/srirachase
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the youth pastor show show his kids a horror movie?

To scare the hell out of them.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nerdican
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2016
🚨︎ report
The youth center in my town is teaching the art of dad joking well.

http://imgur.com/uICSJvZ

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hearip88
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2014
🚨︎ report
A show about nuclear science is renamed to "get with" the youth.

Its new name is "Rad Rads."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maaru-chan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2015
🚨︎ report
The local seniors care home rejected my offer to speak to residents about the advantages of being young in far-eastern countries...

apparently it is not "appropriate" to talk to residents about the benefits of youth in asia.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sludgemonkey01
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Youth Pastor got me on this one after I made a joke involving my waitress girlfriend.

Facebook post:

We've only been dating a little less than 6 months, in high school, and she's already serving me dinner for the 4th time.

His comment (Father of 4 kids):

I've heard of second breakfast, but fourth dinner? Aren't you full yet?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ACEmat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2014
🚨︎ report
Church youth group trip home

While driving 11 kids and one adult home from a weekend trip, I had this gem.

One of kids pointed out a trampoline sales place, so the (only) obvious response was:

Yea, their sales are up and down.

I got a collective groan from everybody, and it was grand.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Misplaced_Texan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2015
🚨︎ report
Two parrots sat on a perch.

One says to the other "Do you smell fish?"

Credit to my partner who's dad used this as his go to joke in her youth

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darkbow85
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Chinese child that's depressed?

Youth in Asia

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Innarhythm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I just saw some guys laying concrete in front of an elementary school.

They were paving the way for our youth.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stefanopolis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Buwanna

I recall from my youth, a time of great adventure. My friends and I on safari hunting the Great North-American Man-Eating Female Butt-Ox.

The hunt was difficult and expensive. Once one has been identified as an acceptable specimen you need to slow its wits and dull its decision making process. This is best accomplished with loud music, flashing lights and alcohol. But even then the hunt can be foiled by rushing in to early. If you're successful, you then need to separate it from the pack. This is the trickiest bit as less than ideal pack members will often fight ruthlessly to "protect" your target.

But even the most successful outings are not without risk. On several occasions I found myself entangled in a wrestling match for hours. But there lies the fruit of the hunt...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I use the "Hi Hungry, I'm Mom" joke so often...

My 4 year old son started telling me he wants to eat by saying "I'm hungry but I'm not called that, I just want some food."

πŸ‘︎ 202
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πŸ‘€︎ u/poptart88
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2014
🚨︎ report
Somebody finally found a use for adult-only bars

Weird. I always thought they were youth-less

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rhedkiex
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Yoth

Now that's a sign of a misspelt youth.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/domlyttle
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My attempted dad joke failed pretty hard on one of the kids I work with today.

My plan:

Me: Hey, do you have any snoo?

Youngster: Huh? What's snoo?

Me: Nothing much, thanks for asking. What's new with you?? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahha

What really happened

Me: Hey, do you have any snoo?

Youngter: sensing a trap No, I think most of the snoo is up in the north east lately.

Me: Stunned silence

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebestisyetocome
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2015
🚨︎ report
My dad always said I’d be going to summer camp in China.

He said it was called β€œYouth in Asia” I was SO bummed when I figured out what he meant.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I heard of this new death metal band that likes double entendres. Their name?

Youth In Asia

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dgrubbnasty
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I asked my boss to donate to support Asian children with terminal illnesses.

He hasn’t responded yet, but when he does I’ll find out if he supports youth in Asia.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/srirachase
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report

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