We just need to figure out where to sign our kids up.
They are now being raised in a stable environment.
Because I can't raise them myself
Many years later the dad finds out one boy was adopted by a Mexican family and the other by a Muslim family.
The son from the Mexican family, Juan, reaches out to the dad as an adult and the two meet. They have a great time reconnecting and the dad finds out his other son is named Amal.
At the end of the day Juan asks his dad if he wants to meet his other son. The dad declines. Juan asks why and the dad says, “if you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”
because there's no way I can raise it myself
One of them is adopted by a family in Egypt and is named Amal and the other is adopted by a family in Mexico and is named Juan.
Years later Juan contacts his mother and sends a picture of himself to her. The mother overwhelmed with happiness, tells her husband that she wishes she could also see Amal.
He responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan you've seen Amal."
He wants it to grow up in a stable environment.
Let the little shits be someone else’s problem.
Soda Pop
Because I couldn’t raise them on my own.
So we (my sister Shannen, my girlfriend Kallie, and my dad) are adopting a dog today and we are waiting in line for the centert to open.
Shannen: I hear they have a bunch of pit bull mixes.
Me: Do you guys want a pit bull?
Kallie: Pit Bulls are super sweet, it just depends on how they're raised
Dad: I don't know... I don't really like his music
Dad: 'Yeah, but no one would take you or your sister.'
"What???? When???"
"An hour ago. Your new parents will be here any minute. Go pack."
Wow! Do we have some big shoes to fill!
They can't be sold without a barkcode
Son: Wow, I wonder who my real parents are.
Me: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.
Me: So are we your Mom and Dad now?
Granddaughter: A-PARENT-ly!!
Yep, she's a chip off the old block... hehe
As soon as we got home, he made a bolt for the door.
I have some really big shoes to fill
I guess he's just a little ruff around the edges.
They usually just pick it up as they go.
“Get a long, little doggy.”
He called it Ma.
The lady at the vet: “what’s his name?”
Me: “The shelter told me his name is Toby”
Her: “Well, what does he think his name is?”
Me: “........ Kunte Kinte”
She didn’t get it. Once in a lifetime joke wasted.
Someone told him to “get along little doggie”
After spending a few days at a detective convention, they come home to find their house burned to the ground. "What do you think caused this?" One asked the other. The other just sighed and replied "It was most likely ourson (arson)."
remains to be seen!
That way he can spend all day saying “Come, Stay”, “Go, Stay”, “Fetch, Stay” and “Stay, Stay”.
I feel like the 66 route is a little late
then owl be a monkey's uncle.
So I could have twice as many dad jokes.
If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t, either.
I have some bones to pick with you.
We did, and within an hour he'd made a bolt for the door
Dave Ponder is running for senator, but he and Sharon don't have any children. They want to be seen as a typical political family at any cost, and want to adopt. They stop by an adoption agency.
Dave talks with the administrator and mentions he's in a bit of a hurry with a photo shoot scheduled for next month. Reece, one of the little boys, overhears the conversation and says he'd be happy to be adopted. That was the moment that he became....
an emergency Reece Ponder.
Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.
He's working his way to the top...
Girlfriend: “babe, I’m pregnant”
Me trying to not lose it: “Hi, pregnant, I’m dad”
What can I say, I’m always willing to raise the steaks.
Because I can’t raise them myself.
We just need to figure out where to sign our kids up.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Mexico, they name him Juan". Year's later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
As soon as we got home he made a bolt for the door.
He wanted to get a long little doggie
As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door
As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the backdoor
As soon as we got him home, he made a bolt for the door
I've got some bones to pick with you.
