Admitting Puns

but since the 80s, I've only gone to the movies alone.

So I asked if that’s why people are admitted to the hospital

You could say they are very transparent.

I am not!!

I was in denial.

He’s in stable condition

I’m a faux pa.

Edit: This took off a lot better than I expected.

I feel like a father figure now.

But not the one’s she’s been giving me lately

He has selfie steam issues.

I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again

He was finally doing the reading for his history class. "Did you know that Bin Laden was planning to blow up monuments in other American cities?"

"I bet St. Louis was next on his list," I nodded.

"How'd you know that, Dad?" he asked in surprise.

"Well, he was our arch-enemy."

"Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder!"

That was the best slice of soup I've ever had.

... but unfortunately nothing that jumped out at me.

Apparently Shatner panties was a poor choice of name.

I lost Yuan

If they launched a lot of cattle into orbit.

It would be the herd shot ’round the world.

ΔE=m*c²

Sorry, that was just a ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-d joke.

Because we’d be admitting 2021.

The bus driver isn't allowed to drive my kids anymore because we live on a dead end street.

But it takes an even bigger man to give a giraffe a haircut.

But I probably shouldn't have married a blind woman and like to laugh so much.

Cos then we will be admitting 2021.

But then again, we can't just skip 2021. Cos the next year is 2022.

The Adventures of Hyuck-leberry Finn

I then remembered it's an apple-late court.

I’ve got nothing to hide

Horse: enters a doctor's clinic clears throat Doctor: You have ho(a)rseness

That they are bad at fractions

fractions!

A brick.

I feel like my marriage is at steak

I'm having a hard time getting this off my chest.

They don't admit you window

Wednesday’s are Open Mike Night.

So my brother is super hard to buy for because my mom buys him EVERYTHING, literally. This kid has every toy, game console, video game, movie, funko pop, t-shirt, etc to ever exist. My sister and I decided to buy him chips for Christmas. I got jalapeno cheddar cheetos, a few snack bags of spicy chips, and a can of pringles. I'm going to wrap them individually and put them in a stocking. I would like to add a card with a pun or joke about chips to at least make this (admittedly low effort) gift funny.

I have to admit... it was a pretty good counter argument.

But she still won't admit she framed me.

I stand corrected.

Admitting you don’t have a problem.

I just want her to come clean.

But I’ve always wanted to give Red Bed Redemption a shot.

But it takes an even bigger man to give a giraffe a haircut.

I stand corrected.

I’ve got nothing to hide.

But it takes a bigger man to give a giraffe a haircut.