I asked the movie theater attendant for one admission.

He said he liked wearing his wife’s shoes when she wasn’t home.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/banditk77
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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If I was the director of admissions at Hogwarts...

I would walk into every room while giving tours with my arms outstretched, head tilted slightly upwards, eyes shining, just admiring the beauty of the space and then spin around slowly and proudly state, "And this? THIS is where the magic happens!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/expertn00b
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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My son was rejected from Indiana University. Feeling persistent, he asked me if he should call one of the advisors and plead for admission.

I told him beggars can’t be Hoosiers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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Help!! Creative Minds Needed!!

My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.

Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says β€œcoolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.

Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??

  • I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!

Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that β€œcreative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Why couldn't the Sargent get into the concert?

It was General admission

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OldManSaxon
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
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Dad joke in ER

Last night, my girlfriend's grandma was admitted to a nearby hospital for a heart rhythm abnormality. The admitting physician was a great guy, and concluded his admission assessment with a spontaneous, and entirely unrelated, dad joke.

"Did you hear about the two burglars who stole a calendar? They each got six months."

He promptly dropped his stethoscope and left. Boom.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2014
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How do stoners get into college?

Rolling Admissions

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pun420
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2016
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I got dad-joked by someone attending an opera last night.

I was ripping ticket stubs for an opera performance at my college last night when an older gentleman handed me his ticket and said, "I'm a colonel. Is that still okay?" His wife and I were a bit confused, but I said yes, that was perfectly fine.

"Well this ticket says 'General Admission,' but I'm only a colonel."

His wife groaned and I laughed. Highlight of my night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JeffIsTheCorn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2016
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I don't know, CAN you?

I just texted my dad, "can i call you when i get out of work?" (Nothing serious) I'm at work right now and the way we file prospect students in the admissions office i work at is by the last three letters of their last name and the first letter of their first name. Before my dad could answer in dad-ways, i read the next file and it said "KAN U". I rolled my eyes when i heard my dad say "I don't know, can you?" In my mind.

The message had already been sent and dad's were uniting.

You guessed it, he replied in exactly that manner.

If you don't understand English grammar, which most people don't, I should have said "may I?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/apfeldaisies
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2015
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Not in the typical dad joke style, but here's my dad's sense of humor.

We both work at a university caught in the midst of this cold front. I'm in admissions and he's the supervisor in the on campus power/heat plant.

"Dad, can you turn up the heat a little bit? The rest of campus is freezing."

"The dilithium crytals are overheating. She can't take anymore, captain."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotAlwaysGifs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2014
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Talking about college for me.

We're sitting at the dinner table and my mom is talking about getting a reduced price on my tuition. Mom: So I talked to the admissions office today to see about getting My Name a reduced cost. Dad: Uh oh! What did you admit too??

Dad and I both laughed but mom just kinda sat there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lard7755
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2014
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How do stoners get into college?

Rolling Admissions

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pun420
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2016
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