Zookeeper Puns

There's always some kind of roos.

"Whew, what a skink!"

because of a certain case, which made it so that all the zoo animals had to stay in his bedroom. One of them keeps on waking him up, but he’s not sure which one. He goes to see an expert on similar situations like this. They go over which one is the most likely. The expert says:

“It’s not the fox, since those are quiet. It’s also most likely not the monkeys, because these types sleep well.”

They have a conversation like this, but the zookeeper keeps on wanting to talk about his elephant, which he loved and thought would never want to wake him up. The expert notices and plays along for a while, avoiding the subject until all other animals are no longer a suspect. The expert finally gets tired and asks the zookeeper:

“Are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?”

They set their a-llamas.

"Ape real, fools!"

He said, “Sorry. It’s my bear to cross.”

It was toucan fusing.

So that they would be bread in captivity

Turtle-llini

He had a reptile dysfunction!

Because he kept causing pandemonium.

Zucchini

(At the new safari exhibit)

Zookeeper: The zebras will be introduced to the giraffes next week!

Dad: What are their names?

Zookeeper: I don't think they have names yet...

Dad: Well how are they supposed to introduce themselves??

I just kept walking.

It was great. She’s a keeper.

Me: do you have any penguins? Zookeeper: no, we dont have any penguins Me: slides him 20 How about now? Zookeeper: where did you get 20 penguins?

The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity.

The man says to a zookeeper "Why's that in there?" and the zookeeper says "What do you mean? It's bread in captivity. "

A good friend told me a story once. When she was a kid her family would often go to zoos and museums while on vacation. They were in the aviary on one of those visits looking at birds. My friend saw a crow asked the zookeeper a question. "What's the difference between a raven and a crow?" The zookeeper looked at her, smiled and started to answer. "Have you ever heard of a pinion feather?" he said. "Pinions are the the feathers at the tip of a bird's wing that allows it to fly. They are also the ones that people will trim to prevent birds from flying away. Crows have 5 pinion feathers while ravens have 6. So, if you think about it, it's really just a matter of a pinion."

To this day, my friend and her family don't know the real answer to "What's the difference between a crow and a raven?" They are wonderful and intelligent people, but they subscribe to a particular brand of ignorance where a good pun is better than actual knowledge. They call it punorance.

and I saw a monkey with a steak on it's head.

Very confused, I walked over to the zookeeper and asked: "Why does that monkey have a steak on it's head?"

The zookeeper responded: "Because he thinks he's a grilla."

I was at the zoo with my girlfriend and we went to the primates area last. When we got there, they had already put the gorillas up and there was a zookeeper in the open-air habitat cleaning it up. I turned to my girlfriend and said, "why is that gorilla wearing clothes?" My girlfriend groaned and the zookeeper shot me the dirtiest look I've ever received in my life.

The Zookeeper said it was bread in captivity

The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity.

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity

The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity

Zookeeper said it was bread in captivity

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity!

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.

The Zookeeper said he was bread in captivity.

I asked a zookeeper what that was about and he told me it was bread in captivity.

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity