They’ve just discovered an Egyptian tomb filled with chocolate and hazelnuts

They believe it’s the tomb of Pharaoh Rocher

πŸ‘οΈŽ 210
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pathrado
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 04 2021
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Did you know if you and your buddy fart at the same time it makes you Egyptian?

Because you have a Tutankhamun.

Note:I thought of this today I really hope the joke lands.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 508
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TLEToyu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12 2021
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An ancient Egyptian king and his subjects had nearly the same farts...

They had a toot-in-common

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2021
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What do you call a gassy old Egyptian?

Tootin’ common.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kasonjing
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 03 2021
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Where did elderly ancient Egyptians gather?

In the great pyramid of geezer

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Muppet_Cartel
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 22 2021
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When do Egyptians go mad?

When they senile.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/andtosumitup
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 03 2021
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A new Egyptian undertakers have opened up in town. Their motto....

"Satisfaction Guaranteed....Or Your Mummy Back."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 03 2021
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Did you know ancient Egyptian houses didn’t have a door knocker?

Instead they had a horn and a sign saying β€œToot and come in”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bishcraft1979
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 24 2021
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Why are Egyptians such great businessmen?

Because they're great at pyramid schemes!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lesbianqueen7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2021
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What ancient Egyptian pharaoh never farted?

King Toot-Uncommon

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Curiosity-Killed-The
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2021
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What do you call an Egyptian physical therapist?

A Cairo-practor

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Anonymouspapayaz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 08 2021
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If I were an Egyptian pharaoh...

My name would be Tootsarecommon...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jmfinfrock
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 08 2021
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There's been talk that the ancient Egyptians invented cement.

Historians have looked into the ruins for evidence, but there's nothing concrete.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 31 2021
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What did the Egyptian crocodile do with the problems in his life?

Nothing, he lived in da-nile

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Breachx4002
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 17 2021
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Did you know that archeologists discovered ancient Egyptians watched monster movies?

Moth-Ra was their favorite.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Urban_Archeologist
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 22 2021
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What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?

They're both in bread.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Highway-Amazing
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2021
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What does an Egyptian goose say?

Ankh, ankh!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2020
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Remember the band that did that rock cover of β€œwalk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?

Pharaohsmith.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Routine_Palpitation
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 16 2020
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Ancient Egyptian architect: "Do you know how to build a pyramid?"

Ancient Egyptian builder: "Well, err yeah, upto a point."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 59
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2020
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Anyone have any Egyptian jokes?

I am in a roasting war and in need of assistance.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sgper18
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2020
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I finally went to talk to the super cute girl who works in the Egyptian super market.

Her: What can I do for you?

Me: I'm looking for a date.

Her: Oh, what kind of dates?

Me: Uhmm, just dinner and a movie :)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gliscor_dude
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 08 2021
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Egyptian pie
πŸ‘οΈŽ 138
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SethGrimly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 26 2020
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What do Egyptian bus drivers buy when they crash?

ANUBUS

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/obenssonosias
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12 2020
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I asked a Marine if he knew about Egyptian gods.

He said, β€œwho, ra?”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vehiclesales
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 09 2020
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Egyptians claimed to have invented the guitar,

But they were such lyres.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The_Russell_Pinto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2020
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When are Egyptian fishermen less likely to believe what their are told? /r/Jokes/comments/km3t07/…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/badaloop
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29 2020
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What do you call it when two ancient Egyptians fart at the same time?

Toot in common

πŸ‘οΈŽ 149
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HoldMyDirrk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 10 2020
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Why did the egyptians have trouble with acceptance?

Because the were in de-Nile.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-Reader91-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 08 2020
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What happens when the vehicle carrying most of the Egyptian gods breaks down?

They have to pull over and wait for Anubis.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Foxadelick
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2020
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What was the name of the Egyptian that was buried with chocolate and nuts?

Pharaoh Rocher

πŸ‘οΈŽ 391
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/evac95
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 14 2020
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My wife told me she is thinking about selling Egyptian rocks.

It sounds like a pyramid scheme to me

πŸ‘οΈŽ 76
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheyCallMeDrAsshole
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 12 2020
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Egyptian Council Leader: the public transport in Cairo is terrible.

Egyptian Transport Secretary: We need a new bus

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vbloke
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 15 2020
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What did Margaret Attwood title her latest murder mystery novel, about an Egyptian serial killer who kept drowning people?

The Nile-ist

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/buttengine
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29 2020
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I have two college friends who studied ancient Egyptian plumbing.

They were pharaoh faucet majors.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DragonHeinie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2020
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Did you hear they just diacovered an Egyptian mummy that was covered in chocolate and hazelnuts?

It's a pharaoh rocher.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OliPark
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2020
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Why did the two gassy Egyptians become friends?

Because they had a toot-in-common

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/heybuddy313
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 28 2020
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An ancient Egyptian queen with an especially flat chest was recently discovered.

Nevertiti.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12 2020
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Why do Egyptian riverboat captains tend to be flat-earthers?

Because they live in da Nile.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/trippy-puppy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2020
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The Egyptian government has asked Cairo’s taxi drivers to drive around and sound their horns in the hope that familiar sounds will help calm the residents following the pandemic.

Operation Toot And Calm β€˜Em will last a week.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vbloke
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2020
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Why did the Egyptian man wrongfully insist that he was still on land?

He was in de-nile

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LooseMonty
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 30 2020
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What do you call an Egyptian that believes life is meaningless?

A nileist

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/N64GC
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2020
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I was having some back issues, so I went to my Egyptian friend

He's a cairopractor

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PopeShashcan49
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 26 2020
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What do you call an Egyptian doctor?

A Cairo-practor

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/schiggy182
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the Egyptian crocodile do about the problems in his life?

Nothing. He lived in de-nile.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nonions
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when two Egyptians fart at the same time?

Tutankhamen

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/awesometoenails
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report

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