If someone yawns on tv and yawning is contagious, that person has a chance of being a superspreader and causing a short yawndemic 🐸

Ever thought about that?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HMK360
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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my five year old just told me that he wasn't finished his yawn...

... i told him his yawn was expired.

(sadly, he didn't get it)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fisherkingpoet
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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Why did the chess pieces yawn?

Because they were in a board game.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ric_man
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2017
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My dad loves it when people yawn...

He sticks his index finger right in their mouth and pulls out before they finish.

It makes little kids and grown-ups alike laugh. He still gets me from time to time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CalmConquistador
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2013
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Shawn [yawning]: I'm tired

Shaun [yauning]: me too

Sean [yeaning]: so am I

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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What is the most popular boat in the southern US?

A yawl.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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I tell bad chemistry jokes, because all the good ones

Argon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lafleur2017
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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What’s a sleepy mans favourite vegetable?

OniYawn πŸ§… πŸ₯±

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πŸ‘€︎ u/According-Ad8779
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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Why was the tiny poop yawning?

It was a little turd.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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Why was Christopher Robbin?

For Pooh needed the honey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChrisCGC
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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Why should you never interrupt a kidnapping?

They get really cranky if they don't get enough sleep

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinferbrains
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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A clown bets an old man $100 he can make him laugh. Man says "Sure, it won't happen"

Clown asks: "What do you call someone posing as a fake Italian chef? An im-pasta"

Man doesn't laugh

Clown asks: "What do you get when you cross a tiger and a bear? A tiger and a bear seeking revenge."

No response

Clown asks: "Which super hero asks the most questions? Wonder Woman"

Nothing

Clown asks: "Have you heard of the baseball team the Chicago Hot Dogs? They are the wurst"

Doesn't crack a smile

Clown asks: "Why was the alcoholic so annoying? He wined too much"

Clown starts to get nervous

Clown asks: "The disinterested hockey player got a penalty. What was it? Boarding"

Blank look

Clown asks: "What is a nun's favorite card game? Old Maid"

Yawn

Clown asks: "How do crustaceans celebrate birthdays? With crab cakes"

Annoyed

Clown asks: "What do you call a champion deer? A Win-doe"

grasping at straws

Finally Clown asks: "How do sheep sleep when they have nightmares? Baaaaadly"

He never laughs. Clown gives him his $100 and asks "Did any of my jokes make you laugh?"

Man says "No pun-in-ten-did"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scoob1978
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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A cow tried to sneak past a sleeping dragon

Made a nice flaming yawn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JBaczuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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What do you call a world's sleepiest nation?

Hibernation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/niss7271
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
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Asked my daughter who she would be if...

My daughter let's out a big yawn:

Me: Who would you be if you were in a room, by yourself and yawned?

Her: Huh?

Me: Yawn Solo!!

Oh the look I got from her and my wife. They just don't understand why I'm still giggling 3 hours later.....Yawn Solo....HA!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HuckleBuckMaster
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2016
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What do you call a bored cow in hell?

A black Angus flamin' yawn (filet mignon)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2017
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Heard this gem today at a craft store with my fiancΓ©e

We were looking for twine or something in the yarn section and this dad walks by with his two daughters, gives a huge yawn, and says, "WOW! That was a huge yarn" and then began to start chuckling uncontrollably.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wsmith27
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2014
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My 2,5 yo daughter got my wife in the car

We just picked up our daughter from daycare. My daughter (Abby) is in the back seat yawning.

Wife: "Honey, are you tired?" Daughter: "No, I'm Abby."

Never been more proud of her.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShortTemperedGeek
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2016
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Discovery channel dad joke

So we were watching the discovery channel and a short segment on whales comes on. During the ad break I yawn really loudly and explain that I'm just making whale noises. It's at this moment that my dad says "well you're doing very whale then!"

...

God dammit dad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boomerangblom
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2014
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Dad broke this one out tonight

It was getting late and my Dad, Mom and I were all sitting in the living room reading. My Dad yawns and says, "Well I think I'm about ready for bed."

My mom says, "Same, I think I'm going to turn in."

My Dad stands up, gets a really concerned expression on his face and says, "Turn into what??" Then he proceeds to walk out of the room, laughing to himself the entire way.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strayl1ght
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2014
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