What does Woody do when he has to choose a random letter of the alphabet?

He picks R!

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Mar 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What did Sheriff Woody said to Bo Peep?

Your Pixar Good.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/cbsxact7
📅︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Why can't Woody play his guitar?

He doesn't know where his Pixar.

👍︎ 1k
💬︎
👤︎ u/Pewper
📅︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Think Straight Woody
👍︎ 10
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Buzz Lightyear say to Woody?

A lot, there's like 4 movies.

👍︎ 13
💬︎
👤︎ u/game__hen
📅︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Toy story 4 used to have a scene where Woody's friends died.

They cut it from the script because it was too much of a buzzkill.

👍︎ 33
💬︎
👤︎ u/Godith024
📅︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Friend: "Why did Tim Kaine name his son Woody?" Friend's dad: "Why woody not?"
👍︎ 12
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 28 2016
🚨︎ report
Which movie director used to be a lumberjack?

Tiiiiiimbeeeeer-ton

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/mitcheg3k
📅︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you get a dog to stop

Hit the paws button

👍︎ 11
💬︎
👤︎ u/woodysdad
📅︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Fellow Dads, Help me name this Garden Art

Looking for what my fellow Dads would name this garden artwork in my buddies yard.

Carved Tree

I called it GandOwlF

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/Marc--
📅︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Pixar name their porno

You’ve got a friend in me

👍︎ 6
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Does anybody know which actor played Forrest Gump?

T'hanks.

👍︎ 18
💬︎
👤︎ u/ravireads
📅︎ Oct 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Gotem
👍︎ 32
💬︎
👤︎ u/Knyq_626
📅︎ Sep 25 2018
🚨︎ report
So my boss helped a black gentleman with his car troubles the other day...

There is this black guy who details cars in our parking lot for the surrounding businesses. My boss was coming back from lunch and noticed this gentleman needed help starting his client's car, so my boss got his cables out and gave the man a jump. When he told the office this I said "Thank you for putting an end to the stereotype that white men can't jump." Everyone gave a collective "ugh!"

👍︎ 394
💬︎
👤︎ u/bluebugs23
📅︎ May 11 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you call an endowed puppet?

Well strung...

👍︎ 12
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Got my wife with a hand

So I found this toy hand that was all alone on the couch, it looked like it came off a Woody doll or something. So I put it in my pocket and waited for the perfect moment to strike.

About 30 minutes later, my wife is holding our 9 month old who's crying - jackpot.

I walk in the kitchen, "Hey, can I give you a hand?"

Pulled out the hand. She liked it. I walked away very proud of myself.

👍︎ 170
💬︎
👤︎ u/achilles57
📅︎ Feb 17 2016
🚨︎ report
A couple of my dad's infamous sayings

Whenever someone comes into the house my dad asks

"Hey, ______, can I get you a drink or something to eat? I can open up a can of ribs." My dad thinks this is hilarious and usually ends up cracking himself up while our guest just stands there nervously laughing from confusion. It's a Woody Allen quote btw.

Another one is whenever someone asks what his occupation is: "Philanthropist"

"Really?"

"Yea. But I'm not a very good one"

👍︎ 13
💬︎
📅︎ Dec 29 2015
🚨︎ report
Just happened.

"What's green and pecks on a tree?"

...

"Woody Wood Pickle!"

::falls over laughing::

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/karhall
📅︎ Dec 28 2013
🚨︎ report
Woody, it's a Buzz word.
👍︎ 4
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 02 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.