Prediction: There will be a minor Baby Boom in 9 months, and then one day in 2033 we will witness the rise of
When a Jehovah's Witness dies....
Does Heaven turn out the lights and pretends nobody's home ?
What is a Jehovah's Witness favourite song?
Ever wonder how a Jehovah's witness spreads their word during Covid?
Now that you're here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior?
Breaking news: Irish officials have reported that a passenger 747 has crashed into a Belfast cemetery. Investigators have discovered over ten thousand dead bodies at the scene. One local witness at a nearby pub claimed it was a Guinness record.
To be sure. I’ll let myself out.....
The local drug dealer in town started dressing as a Jehovah’s Witness so as not to arouse suspicion.
He was arrested when cops saw people actually letting him in.
What do you get if you cross a Jehovah's Witness with an Atheist?
Someone who knocks on your door for no reason at all.
What is it called when you witness an act of god in a mirror?
A guy came to the door, asked if I wanted to be Jehovah's Witness ...
I said "Are you kidding, I didn't even see the accident." (Props to the Unknown Comic.)
If you witness a crime in an Apple store...
Does that make you an iWitness?
The cop asked the witness "Where did the hackers go?"
The witness replied "I don't know, they just ransomware."
Lettuce witness people go hàm in the comments
We were about to witness our first autopsy in medical school. My friend said, “What do you think it’ll be like?”
I said, “Remains to be seen.”
Jehovah’s Witness don’t celebrate Halloween
I guess they don’t appreciate random strangers knocking on their doors
I got sued once... the plaintiff brought in a rabbit as his key witness...
The judge dismissed it as hare say.
Why is someone called an “Eye witness”. Shouldn’t it be “I witness”?
My friend, who is a Jehovah’s Witness, is really mad at me.
He told me a Knock Knock joke, and I refused to answer.
A Jehovah's Witness knocked on my door.
He gave me a leaflet and said, "Who knows? You might find it useful."
So I scrunched it up into a ball and threw it at him. "I guess you were right," I replied.
What should you do if you witness a kidnapping?
What did the eye witness say about the camel who was using the bushes as a lavatory
I saw the hump take a dump in a clump
A Jehovah's Witness knocks on a Jew's door...
Jew: "Can I help you?"
Witness: "Hello sir, I'm here to tell you about the great Lord Jehovah!"
Jew: "Is that what you call him? You know, we have a name for him too..."
Witness: "No way?!"
Jew: "Yahweh."
How did the upbeat witness identify the ghost?
I’m often a witness to my British friend Richard’s antics, involving randomly placing baked desserts in people’s homes.
More than once I’ve spotted Dick putting.
About half of my friends love the movie “Witness”, and half of them hates it.
It’s either a hit or Amish.
If your dad tells a joke and you turn it back around on him, you may be able to witness a groan man.
They say that getting married as a women is like being put on a witness protection programme
The bride gets a new name and a dress.
Was a witness to a (grand)dad joke last night at a restaurant.
Grandpa was tucking his toddler granddaughter into her seat at the table when the waitress asked "would you like a high chair or a booster seat?" to which he instantly responded "No thanks I'm tall enough".
If you witness a robbery at an Apple Store...
...does that make you an iWitness?
if you witness a robbery at an apple store, what are you?
Why Jehovah witness don't celebrate Halloween?
Because the hate people knocking on their doors 🚪
A Jehovah's Witness knocks on a Jew's door... [Re-post from r/Jokes]
A Jehovah's Witness knocks on a Jew's door.
Jew: "Can I help you?"
Witness: "Hello sir, I'm here to tell you about the great Lord Jehovah!"
Jew: "Is that what you call him? You know, we have a name for him too..."
Witness: "No way?!"
Jew: "Yahweh."
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