Wiener Puns

A Datsun

I replied, Perhaps mourning would...

Because he wanted to “get a long little doggie”

I mean, the folks there were so nice, and as I left, the guy told me, "Get a long little doggy!"

It worked well. The hot dogs were delicious.

A hot dog.

PP-Diddy

He was their sole bread wiener.

You're the wurst

One suddenly turns to the other and says

"Mike! Your wiener is showing!"

... this is going to be my wurst Halloween ever.

(True story, btw.)

In my heart, he'll always be a wiener

They both fear the wurst

I'm the wiener!

Until the hotdog mustard up the energy to ketchup, and emerged the clear wiener.

Because they are in bread.

You can ride around topless with your wiener out.

He responded “I don’t know, I can Nazi German wieners.”

I chuckled because of the first pun and then stood in awe realizing he was making fun of my question.

My wife said "I don't wanna ween her"

I said "Baby, you don't have a wiener"

Wife and I were talking about how well our baby has been sleeping and she says "I think I wanna night ween her". Surprised by what I thought she said, I say - "I'll give you night wiener!"

We've done a bunch of these lists on my podcast Shoddy Radio in the past including "Cars and Stars" (Steve Mitsubuscemi, Jean Claude Grand Am), "Groups and Poops" (Stool, The Brown Stripes), and "Chicks and Dicks" (Sigourney Wiener, Dickey Lake). Anyway, I thought some folks here might appreciate these and want to throw in some ideas. So far for our next list "Criminal Acts & Delectable Snacks" we've got Bacon and Entering, First Degree Burger, Child CornDography, Statutory Crepes and a few others I can't remember right now. Any submissions?

I had just cooked a hot dog.The moment i take a bite out of it my dad runs at full speed yelling "ha ha you ate a wiener".

*Khakis: What you need to start the car in Boston.

*Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

*Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.

*What do you call a cow who gives no milk? ...A milk dud (or an udder failure)

*There was a terrible fight reported in our local shopping center. It just so happened that a news reporter from one of our local stations was there to record the entire episode. It was an altercation between a prominent dentist and a manicurist. Their disagreement escalated to the point that they wound up fighting each other tooth and nail.

*The little old woman who lived in a shoe wasn't the sole owner - there were strings attached.

*I recently saw a theatrical performance on puns... turned out, it was just a play on words!

*Have you ever tried watching a magician with an anger management problem? Every time he gets mad, he pulls his hare out!

*If you lose your hearing, is it ear replaceable? -Just wondering

*Harvard has long been known for its championship Rowing team – until this year. They had their first ever indecisive rower... he couldn’t choose either oar.

*I found an excellent seamstress who is so enthusiastic about her work that she's happy to make a pair of pants for you …or at least sew its seams.

*No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

*I bought a new weed whacker yesterday & it is cutting-hedge technology!

*Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.

*I read about a recent fire at the circus. The heat was in tents.

*I was saddened to hear that our local bakery was going out of business. They said they had decided to stop making donuts after they got tired of the hole thing.

*I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.

*Why do seagulls fly over the sea? …Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!!

*I wonder if their manure spreader is the only equipment John Deere won't stand behind.

*I saw a very emotional wedding recently... even the cake was in tiers!

*I'm glad I'm not a cross-eyed teacher... otherwise I'd find it too difficult to control my pupils!

*What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window? ...Snow and Tell

*I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

*The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

*What kind of math do Snowy Owls like? …Owlgebra

*What

A halo-wiener.

He cried laughing at himself.

Dad, no.

Did you hear a movie is coming out about hot dogs? It is an Oscar wiener.

Him: Why did the Cowboy adopt a Wiener Dog?

Me: Oh boy here it comes... why?

Him: Because he wanted to get a long little doggie...

The Dad is strong with my Bro

He wanted to get a long little doggie

A wiener

...so I bought a wiener dog so I could get a long little doggie