Bologna Puns

Above knee.

It was bland larceny

He's full of bologna

Edit:spelling

That's bologna!

Bologna (below knee)

He said “That’s a bunch of bologna!”

But if you ask me, that’s just bologna.

I know this isn't strictly a Dad joke, but I feel it is in the spirit of the thing. My dad is getting is getting his leg amputated in January. Essentially he has no cartilage in his ankle, and it causes him severe pain all the time. He has an amazing sense of humor, so I wanted to get him a gift basket of foot-based things. So far I have: -fruit by the foot -Happy Feet -Footloose -an Ihop gift card -pack of tube socks (since now he gets 2 for 1) -Bologna (because his amputation is below knee) -a card saying congrats on the weight loss -all put inside of a stocking

What other foot based pun items would you include in the gift basket?

He peeked around the corner and asked "Son, do you want an ankle meat sandwich?" to which I replied "A what?" to which he quickly retorted "You know, below-knee? (baloney)."

I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life.

Edit: I know the proper spelling is "bologna" but since I have seen both spellings used interchangeably and I know a lot of people DON'T know how to spell it, I used the improper spelling so more people would get the joke. Jeeze.

I guess he did understand that I wanted bologna.

Never mind, it’s just a bunch of bologna.

they are a load of bologna.

He was charged with bologna-ous assault.

Bologna (think about how it's pronounced)

Meat brawl sandwich.

... always liked bologna better anyway.

bologna

So I just spent the last ten minutes trying to come up with a joke to go with a punch line that popped in my head. (I have issues). Anyways, here it is- Milk and bologna were in the fridge gossiping about the neighbors when bologna said “I don't care for eggs, but I really like sausage.” to which mustard quipped “that's what cheese said!”

Dad: Why doesn't the dog sit in the sun.

Sister: Why?

Dad: Because it doesn't want to turn into a bologna.

Sister Don't you mean hotdog?

Dad: what is the lunchmeat that tastes like hot dogs?

Me: bologna?

Dad: this isn't bologna, son, but a serious question.

Last night we (my wife, the two oldest, and myself) were making sandwiches. My son asked for the mayo. I told him we were out. He yelled "well tartar sauce," the expletive from Spongebob.

I handed him the tartar sauce, told him it'd taste weird on bologna, and giggled.

Does this qualify me for membership?

"Did you know that your aunt once had a bologna cast?"

"What? What's a bologna cast?"

"You know, a bologna cast!"

"Why would they make a cast out of bologna?!?"

"Because she hurt herself below the knee!"

Earlier today I accompanied my dad to the grocery store. Eventually, my dad made his way to the deli in the store and ordered two pounds of bologna. When he was rung up, his total was almost 3 dollars. I don't eat bologna, but I presumed that was high when my dad suddenly exclaimed, "That's a bunch of baloney!" and chuckled to himself. My conformist dad bought it anyways.

I was hoping ForBologna!

Bologna