What's the opposite of bologna?

Above knee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rphillips76
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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Bologna
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RYDOGE21_YT_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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Above knee. Below bologna.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jam219
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
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Someone stole my bologna

It was bland larceny

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snuzet
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2017
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My-my-my-myyyyy Corona!
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/techsavior
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
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What kind of meat is located on your shin

Bologna (below knee)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shugaz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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Getting to the meat of the matter
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ducksarewitches
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2017
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I told my friend I was making the world’s biggest sandwich.

He said β€œThat’s a bunch of bologna!”

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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This sub is going downhill
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokesig
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
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Some people call circular-sliced hot dogs β€œlunch meat”...

But if you ask me, that’s just bologna.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wutisthis66204
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
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Seen in Canada.
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2018
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What items would you include in an amputation themed gift basket?

I know this isn't strictly a Dad joke, but I feel it is in the spirit of the thing. My dad is getting is getting his leg amputated in January. Essentially he has no cartilage in his ankle, and it causes him severe pain all the time. He has an amazing sense of humor, so I wanted to get him a gift basket of foot-based things. So far I have: -fruit by the foot -Happy Feet -Footloose -an Ihop gift card -pack of tube socks (since now he gets 2 for 1) -Bologna (because his amputation is below knee) -a card saying congrats on the weight loss -all put inside of a stocking

What other foot based pun items would you include in the gift basket?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pyroperformer93
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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I was at a sandwich restaurant once. I got a meat and cheese sandwich, and when the waiter asked me what kind of meat I wanted, I pointed to his knee. He didn't know what I meant, so I left.

I guess he did understand that I wanted bologna.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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Dad was in the kitchen cooking when he dropped this one.

He peeked around the corner and asked "Son, do you want an ankle meat sandwich?" to which I replied "A what?" to which he quickly retorted "You know, below-knee? (baloney)."

I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life.

Edit: I know the proper spelling is "bologna" but since I have seen both spellings used interchangeably and I know a lot of people DON'T know how to spell it, I used the improper spelling so more people would get the joke. Jeeze.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2014
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Have you heard the story of the magic sandwich?

Never mind, it’s just a bunch of bologna.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrumSpace
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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Gotta love those deli ads...

they are a load of bologna.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clapton_Coil
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
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I read a news article about a man who beat people with deli meat...

He was charged with bologna-ous assault.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/woodybuzzes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
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I quit cold turkey...

... always liked bologna better anyway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/istrebitjel
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
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What do you call a sausage made entirely from pigs feet?

Bologna (think about how it's pronounced)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tabdelineated
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2015
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What should you use to start a food fight?

Meat brawl sandwich.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/superpond
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2012
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If they make ham from pig thigh, what do they make from the rest of the leg?

bologna

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaquarius
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2018
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One Day in the Refrigerator

So I just spent the last ten minutes trying to come up with a joke to go with a punch line that popped in my head. (I have issues). Anyways, here it is- Milk and bologna were in the fridge gossiping about the neighbors when bologna said β€œI don't care for eggs, but I really like sausage.” to which mustard quipped β€œthat's what cheese said!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jabx33
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2017
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My friend told me this about his dad.

Dad: Why doesn't the dog sit in the sun.

Sister: Why?

Dad: Because it doesn't want to turn into a bologna.

Sister Don't you mean hotdog?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegrinderofpizza
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2013
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Trying to get my 'A' game together for when my newborn gets older. My dad reminded me today that I'm learning from the best...

Dad: what is the lunchmeat that tastes like hot dogs?

Me: bologna?

Dad: this isn't bologna, son, but a serious question.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goodnightlight
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2014
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New here. Here's my joke.

Last night we (my wife, the two oldest, and myself) were making sandwiches. My son asked for the mayo. I told him we were out. He yelled "well tartar sauce," the expletive from Spongebob.

I handed him the tartar sauce, told him it'd taste weird on bologna, and giggled.

Does this qualify me for membership?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimrob4
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2014
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My dad got me with this during breakfast today.

"Did you know that your aunt once had a bologna cast?"

"What? What's a bologna cast?"

"You know, a bologna cast!"

"Why would they make a cast out of bologna?!?"

"Because she hurt herself below the knee!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMA_GrillBTW
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2016
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Dropping dad jokes at the dadeli

Earlier today I accompanied my dad to the grocery store. Eventually, my dad made his way to the deli in the store and ordered two pounds of bologna. When he was rung up, his total was almost 3 dollars. I don't eat bologna, but I presumed that was high when my dad suddenly exclaimed, "That's a bunch of baloney!" and chuckled to himself. My conformist dad bought it anyways.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2014
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As we're passing through a town called Fortuna...

I was hoping ForBologna!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/underwatersoup
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2013
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What do you call the meat of your calf?

Bologna

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nomadiccyborg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
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