I entered my Chihuahua in an 'ugliest dog' contest and I won first place!

The dog came third.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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A Chihuahua and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink, when a good-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Bulldog says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."

Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."

πŸ‘︎ 110
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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Ron worked at Chihuahua Nation Incorporated.

One day, a blind customer came in with his chihuahua and demanded a return. β€œWhat’s wrong with your CNI dog, sir?” Ron asked. He yelled, β€œThis isn’t what I meant!”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/morsodo99
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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A man takes his sick Chihuahua to the veterinarian.

They’re immediately taken back to a room.

Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Finally, the doctor
comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a $250 bill.

β€œThis must be a mistake,” the man says. β€œI’ve been here only 20 minutes!”

β€œNo mistake,” the doctor says. β€œIt’s $100 for the lab test, $100 for the cat scan and $50 for the medicine.”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LucianoMercuri__
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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Yelled down the street to my daughter while she was walking my FIL's little chihuahua: "Hey did you get that dog on sale??"

It certainly looks like you got it half off!!

I could hear the groan all the way up the street..success!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Malbert215
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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What do you call a Chihuahua that only knows how to say hello in japanese?

A konichiwahua

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Erics5ej
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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Bouncer: "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed." Man: "This is my Seeing-Eye dog." Bouncer: "A Chihuahua?"

Man: "A Chihuahua? They gave me a freaking Chihuahua?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
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How do chihuahuas greet each other in Japan?

Konichihuahua.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sprigger99
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
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How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?

Konnichihuahua.

πŸ‘︎ 203
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinner899
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2016
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I had a hot dog while visiting Chihuahua, Mexico

It was a delicious chiweenie

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amacedaa
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
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My chihuahua shakes a lot, so I took him to the vet's and asked...

"Does he have Barkinsons disease?"

(Note, my wife got really mad about this joke. Apparently the dogs are off-limits)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2017
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On a sign outside my local vet : How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?

Konichihuahua!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chucknorris1975
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2017
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A coupla guys walking their dogs decide they want a beer.

But the bar disallows dogs. The one guy says β€œwatch this.” He approaches the bouncer and says with his leashed German Shepard β€œ this is my seeing eye dog.” He gets in. Second guy tries the same. β€œThis is my seeing eye dog.” The bouncer says, β€œthat’s no seeing eye dog, that’s a chihuahua!” To which the man replies β€œ they gave me a chihuahua!?!?!?!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mollie_anne_77
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
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How do you say "Sup dawg?" in Japanese?

Konichihuahua

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LopsidedVader
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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Doggie treats

My uncoordinated husky has trouble catching treats when I throw them to her and the speedy little Chihuahua gobbles them up off the floor before she can react. However, when I throw her scraps of meat, she catches them every time. She never misses when the steaks are that high.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TRexIRL
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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My co-worker dadjokes me every day. Here's a few of his finer ones.

I started working at a jewelry store two weeks ago. I just turned 24, and one of my new co-workers is about 50 years old and repairs jewelry that customers bring. He is a master of dad jokes.

  1. One day, I was windexing our glass displays.

Him: I recently started getting the urge to take my clothes off and run around all over the place. My buddy told me to try drinking Windex. It prevents streaking.

  1. Another time, it was almost closing time and we were getting bored.

Him: A man was walking his Great Dane and saw a pub. He said, "I'll go have me a drink or two," and tied the dog up outside.

A little while later another man comes in the pub and says, "Sir, is that your Great Dane out there? My dog just killed it."

"What kind of dog do you have?!"

"Chihuahua."

"You're telling me a chihuahua killed my dog?"

"Yea, he got stuck about right here." grabbing his throat

  1. Lastly, we were bored yet again at the end of another day, and he came up to me and another worker and says, "Did one of you lose a big wad of twenty dollar bills wrapped in a rubber band?"

We looked at one another confused. "... No."

"Oh, because I had some good news... I found the rubber band." holding up a runner band

I like my new job.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amdawson
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2014
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how does a japanese chihuahua say hello?

Konichihuahua

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dnk710
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2016
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How does a chihuahua say hello?

Konichihuahua

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_BlNG_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2016
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How do you say "Sup dawg?" in Japanese?

Konichihuahua

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fitzz7
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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