Wide Puns

A list of puns related to "Wide"

Just ordered a 12” wide console table to go by our entryway door.

My daughter says it will be very soothing.

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👤︎ u/WOTrULookingAt
📅︎ Dec 10 2020
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Our microwave is at least three feet wide

I'd hate to see a regular sized wave

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👤︎ u/DreaminginDarkness
📅︎ Jun 26 2020
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Are underpants with a 3.14 mm wide crotch fabric called

pi-thongs?

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👤︎ u/slowshot
📅︎ Mar 14 2020
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What's 4 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women crazy.

An empty toilet roll.

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👤︎ u/khanglikestowin
📅︎ Sep 11 2019
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My roommate Esther and I wanted to get a new rug for our apartment, but we didn't have a tape measure. So we had to use Esther's height to guess the approximate dimensions we wanted. We bought a rug one Esther wide by two Esthers long. You could say we...
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👤︎ u/modestmolerat
📅︎ Oct 09 2018
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Doctors are pleased at how wide-spread influenza suppression meds have been distributed, in preparation to being used...

They say it's gone anti-viral.

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👤︎ u/Naitraen
📅︎ Dec 25 2019
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My wife says that I wasted money by ordering a 3 meter wide frame for our wedding photo.

Well, I think she should look at the bigger picture.

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👤︎ u/sodomicity
📅︎ Jan 11 2019
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What do you call a stone that's exactly 1.609 km wide?

A milestone

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👤︎ u/Lordman17
📅︎ Feb 07 2019
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post 1 year old? I'm the fastest crossposter in the wide wild west
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👤︎ u/Pyrio666
📅︎ Mar 10 2019
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Pun Request: Facilities Department needs a team name for an office wide Bubble Hockey Team

Any ideas on bringing Office Management and Hockey Terms together for a good team name?

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👤︎ u/NoJohnTrumbal
📅︎ May 31 2018
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I've been known to wear wide brimmed Mexican hats

On sombrero-ccasions

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👤︎ u/Ganders81
📅︎ May 29 2018
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Whats two feet wide and fifty feet long?

A centipede

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👤︎ u/Repzie_Con
📅︎ Oct 21 2017
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Saw 4 baby birds in a nest, 3 were close together beaks wide open and squawking for attention. The 4th was off to the side beak closed head down..

I'm no bird expert but I'm guessing 3 females and 1 male.

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👤︎ u/manicmoose13
📅︎ Nov 19 2018
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why fishes have their eyes wide open?

they must be vigilant, something fishy around there...

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👤︎ u/SAIdriss
📅︎ May 08 2018
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How much dirt is in a hole that's 1ft deep, 1ft wide, and 1ft long?

None. If there was dirt in it, it wouldn't be a hole.

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👤︎ u/LyndsySimon
📅︎ May 12 2016
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Vet told me to open my mouth wide and say ahhhhh.

I said "why"

He said "because your dog just died."

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👤︎ u/CarradinesSon
📅︎ Dec 21 2016
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Dadjoke alert on the World wide web.

http://www.tuaw.com/2014/03/14/a-nice-sterile-eye-pad/?ncid=rss_truncated

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👤︎ u/Verapamil123
📅︎ Apr 08 2014
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Wide feet

I woke up this morning and my mom was looking at my feet...

Mom: What size shoe do you wear? Me: 9.5 Wide Dad: I wear a 10.5 Wide Mom: Oh, so that's where you get your fat feet from. Dad: No, I still have mine

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👤︎ u/Benji83
📅︎ Nov 29 2013
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What's 4 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women crazy.

An empty toilet paper roll.

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👤︎ u/Derbucher
📅︎ Aug 26 2019
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