The doctor says I can clearly see your nuts
She responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.Β I said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'Β 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' she answered, βThey're watch dogs'!
They saw the rating- only one star.
I need my hip to be square.
In retrospect, her psychic vision was 2020.
as part of his minor tour.
straightaway I knew he was a keeper
..Then you can witness The Fall of Rome.
I had to climb out of the sunroof.
'Are you the friar? ' I asked him.
'No, I am the chip monk' he replied.
Edit : Holy crap ! More than 1K updoots for a silly joke ? Thanks guys ! I am not sure whether to be proud or ashamed of myself.
Google Meat.
Sadly, there was no plaque on it.
He says that it makes him feel more at home... on the range.
It's Winter in a Walken Wonderland.
...is run by a bunch of has-beans.
They looked at the reviews first...... only 1 star
It was quite the Plot Twist
Everyone knows a panda eats shoots and leaves.
"This is where the Magna Carta was signed," said the tour guide, "One the most important documents in English History."
"When was it signed?" asked Paddy.
"1215," said the tour guide.
"OH NO!" said Paddy, "We missed it by 10 minutes!"
I enjoyed being enlightened
Doctor: What's the problem?
Me: I'm a moth.
Doctor: Excuse me?
Me: I'm a moth.
Doctor: Maybe you should see a psychiatrist not a dentist.
Me: I went to the psychiatrist about an hour ago.
Doctor: Then what are you doing here?
Me: Your light was on.
''bad reviews, only one star''they said.
"Doc, I haven't pooped in a week! Please help!"
Doc says sure, and writes him a prescription for a weeks worth of suppositories.
Man comes back the next day, "doc, I took the entire script last night, but nothing happened!"
The doc is shocked, as in his experience suppositories are very effective, and after taking a weeks worth he should have definitely had a BM. Oh well, the doc thinks, and gives him another weeks worth.
Guy comes back the next day. The doc says incredulously, "you've taken 2 weeks worth of suppositories in 2 days, and nothing happened?!?! What are you doing with them, eating them?!?!"
The man replies, "What'd you expect me to do with them, Shove 'em up my ass?!?!"
I don't know if this would normally be considered a dad joke, but it's my dad's favorite joke so I think it should count.
..it's really hard to find the happy Medium.
sixteenth chapel.
.. I've none atoll.
We created our own joint account.
I told him they only do Caesar cuts.
It's too high a price 'toupee.'
I'm afraid she is addicted to crack.
All their roads seem to have this weird design flaw.
Don't worry--it's only tissue damage...
There is a lot that I want to accomplish in The Mean Time!!
Because he was out of alignment.
I told her that was quite coinciDENTAL.
Dad: Yeah, it was a beatiful city. I would give it a nein out of 10.
He doesn't know the area and gets himself lost. All he does know is that there are a lot of grizzly bears roaming around during the salmon spawn this time of year, so he's quite afraid to get out of his kayak.
The temperature starts to drop. He needs to stay warm, and decides to build a fire inside his little boat on the river.
He learnt a valuable lesson that night: you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
Dora and Diego travel to the Pacific Northwest in the middle of winter. Suddenly they realise that there is a problem with their car, so they quickly pull into a nearby garage. The mechanic comes out and asks them "so what's wrong with your car?" Dora replies:
"Wiper no Wiping!!"
He now radiates happiness.
The graveyard people are just dying to go there
They read the reviews... only one star
They looked at our reviews: only 1 star.
I had to climb out of the sunroof.
