Vinegar Puns

Stop it! I’m pickle-ish

From my 5yo niece and 6yo daughter

Every time he turns around, he’s in a pickle!

but at least not rape oil.

I don't like the way you're addressing me

I thought "I'll take that with a grain of salt."

Talk a bout a sour puss.

I was tripping on acid

Dad: Yeah, it's all the silicone pipes in the bathroom (renovating bathroom, working on it) Me: Ah, makes sense

Dad: Just Imagine how bad Silicone Valley smells

He just laid that one on me not too long ago

Starting salary was $13 per sour.

Balsa McVinegar

Vinegar's luck.

... this wont translate via text im sure BUT. the other day i walked into my apartment with some flowers and was looking for a vase, my roommate says "ah, i have a solution!" and goes to pull a vase out of the cabinet, but theres a giant jug of vinegar in the way, so she pulls that out first, so I said "thats not a solution, thats a base"

He said, "you know what you need to do?"

"Maybe use some vinegar spray?"

"Chase them off with dog-erpillars!"

I said, salt vinegar pepper mustard....

Eating at a soulfood restaurant and son ordered pigs feet (trotters) for the first time. Waitress asked him if he wanted hot sauce and vinegar. He declined and tried to eat the first one. He wasn't impressed. Waitress came back later and saw he was struggling and suggested he needed to put hot sauce and vinegar on them. He obliged.

When the waitress came back later to see if they were any better he said, "Yes. I guess I started out on the wrong foot."

Fried farts and vinegar.

I heard that joke at least 800 times growing up.

Assault and Vinegar