I meant to cross post it but I donβt know why I cannot cross post so here is the screenshot version
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Apr 23 2021
While watching Harry Potter once, I said to my Dad βI wonder what the Hogwarts version of a dirty magazine would beβ as Harry was rooting through his chest of things.
Without skipping a beat he said βWhorelocks.β
π︎ 16
π
︎ May 20 2021
People were creeped out by the backwards version of Fur Elise coming out of Beethoven's grave
Turns out he was just decomposing.
π︎ 14
π
︎ May 20 2021
What do you call the christian version of the A-Team?
π︎ 41
π
︎ Mar 17 2021
I am reading this article that compares all the different versions of The Bible.
There is a lot of cross referencing.
π︎ 54
π
︎ Mar 23 2021
Now everyoneβs head Shakespeare, but I grew up in a sanitarium so I think the versions got mixed up
I always learned it this way:
βTB or not TB
That is the congestion
Consumption be done about it?
Of cough of coughβ
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 02 2021
First post here... the first world problems version of a STRAY ROCKET π
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 27 2021
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
I bought audiobook version of Encyclopedia Britannica
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 23 2021
Happy New Year! Remember kids, you need to make some good resolutions to become a better version of yourself.
If you donβt, theyβll just go in one year and right out the other.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 02 2021
Where do shortened versions of movies go to play with each other?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 18 2021
Batman from the 60s was the best version ngl
π︎ 62
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
What do you call a smaller version of a chair?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
Itsy Bitsy Spider β Dad version
Use this nursery rhyme to play "scary/gross monster" with your tyke:
"The itsy bitsy spider climbed into Mia's mouth
Down to her ears and crawling in and out!
Out through her nose and tickled with her legs,
She made Mia sneeze her brains to scrambled eggs!
achoo splat bleah"
Substitute $name for Mia.
Spider hand chases while Dad reclines on bed. Tyke busily baits and counterattacks.
I dunno whether this qualifies as a Dad joke, but my wife hated it until she saw how much my daughter liked it. I feel like that fits the spirit of Dadness. For maximum results, send your wife the poem first.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
Kissing someone is human version of accepting germs and conditions
π︎ 12
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
I have just found the Catholic version of pay per view.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
Disney is releasing a version of Tangled with an alternate ending where Rapunzel's hair isn't chopped off at the end.
They're calling it the Uncut Edition.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Mar 06 2020
The Minecraft fishing rod enchantment βLureβ is just its version of the enchantment βEfficiencyβ.
Or rather, E-fish-in-sea.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
I read a press release from Heinz saying: "We will never make a Bolognese version of our Alphabetti Spaghetti.
I thought, Blimey. They don't mince their words.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
Why was 6 scared of 5? (different version)
Because 5 fought 3, 2 and won.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
Has anyone seen the British version of Moana?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
I just played the Italian version of among us
I was killed by the impsta on my first game
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
There are rumors that Tesla is considering on a stretched, three row version of their Model X SUV. The project is on Musk's desk waiting for a decision on whether to go forward.
Their next car is Elon gated.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 10 2020
My first dad joke here (shortened version)
Rowan Atkinson is travelling through mexico , decides to have lunch at a local restaurant. He orders a burrito . when full Rowan still has a little bit of food left on his plate , he takes his plate up to the waitress and says "that is the nicest burrito I've ever had, thank you"
The waitress points at Tthe left over food and says
" but you missed a bean"
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 22 2020
Did you hear they came up with a new version of tennis?
They're calling it elevennis.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jun 06 2020
I picked up a U2 version of Monopoly at a garage sale.
It's rubbish. The streets have no name.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jul 07 2020
What do you say when you see / had seen a pirate version of saw holding a frozen buzzsaw on a piece of playground equipment?
I see/saw sea saw on a seesaw, with an icy saw
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 30 2020
If you think T-Rex is terrifying, you should see the amped up version.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 20 2020
12 year old daughter singing her revised version of βCreepβ by Radiohead...
βIβm a creek. Iβm a riverrrrrrrr.β
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 28 2020
They're making a longer version of Magic Mike.
It's called Magical Michael.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 05 2020
What do you call the Greek version of Spider-Man?
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 24 2020
What do you call the girl version of Ironman?
π︎ 56
π
︎ Oct 30 2019
A hot actress tried out for my play. She spoke the archaic version of "your" beautifully...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 30 2020
There's a holographic version of Pablo Escobar touring the world he tried to sell me a G, but I declined...
I knew it would just be a hollow gram.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 28 2020
Someone told me they made a porn version of "The Invisible Man"...
...I did NOT see that coming!
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 11 2019
Why Did France Send Such a Large and Heavy Version of the Statue of Liberty to the USA?
Because it violated their statue of limitations.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 11 2020
What is the Soviet Union version of a Grammar Nazi?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 25 2020
What's the redneck version of tinder?
π︎ 51
π
︎ Aug 15 2019
Inocense is thinking "pound town" is the british version of a thrift shop.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 20 2019
McDonald's tried to create a beef version of the McRib, but failed.
Hopefully, they learned from their McSteaks.
π︎ 524
π
︎ Sep 01 2018
The female version of The Bro Code should be called The Sister Act.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 09 2019
I just read a long article comparing the different versions of the Bible.
There was a lot of cross referencing.
π︎ 717
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
I just read a long scholarly article that compares the different versions of the Bible.
Turns out there is a lot of Cross referencing.
π︎ 406
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
I just wrote an article trying to compare different versions of The Bible.
There was a lot of Cross referencing.
π︎ 68
π
︎ Apr 12 2020
I recently wrote an article comparing the different versions of the Bible.
Turns out there was a lot of cross referencing.
π︎ 179
π
︎ Aug 25 2019
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.