Tying Puns

A list of puns related to "Tying"

I wish I was an expert at tying ropes together

but I’m knot

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👤︎ u/bagelfaceass
📅︎ Dec 13 2020
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A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, “Get out. We don’t serve rope in here.” So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.

The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”

The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”

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👤︎ u/labink
📅︎ May 27 2020
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I caught my son tying a half hitch on my new Rolex.

I thought ‘knot on my watch’

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👤︎ u/CYBERSson
📅︎ Aug 10 2020
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What's the word for tying two cats together?

Concatenate.

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👤︎ u/skwigglydoo
📅︎ Jun 24 2020
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If i were an executioner, i’d rather be the guy swinging an axe than the guy tying a rope.

easier to get a head

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👤︎ u/aexolthum
📅︎ Feb 08 2020
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I'm thinking of starting a rope tying business

It would be a knot for profit organization.

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👤︎ u/DadJoker1988
📅︎ Nov 26 2019
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My colleague asked me if i was good at tying knots

I am married for the 3rd time, does that count?

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👤︎ u/empressofglasgow
📅︎ Sep 16 2019
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My father and I were setting up camp. As we were setting up, he said he had to take a dump and that while he does that, I need to finish tying up the tent. I asked “really?”. To which he replied:

“I shit, you knot.”

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👤︎ u/Irorii
📅︎ Jun 23 2019
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My friend just started a business gathering sticks together and tying them for convenient handling...

He hopes to make a bundle!

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Nov 10 2019
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My friend walks into my room and starts tying knots in my charging cable.

Without hesitating, I respond, "You know, that's knot in a cord with what most people call good manners."

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👤︎ u/eThunderSnow
📅︎ Sep 15 2019
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Everyone should try tying their partner up at some point in the relationship.

It's a great bonding experience!

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👤︎ u/InDaRed
📅︎ Mar 06 2019
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Special Report: Execution Botched Today Due to Hangman's Absence During Knot Tying Seminar in his Youth

Breaking Noose

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👤︎ u/joeywithanr
📅︎ Mar 18 2019
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If one is an expert in tying knots,

One does knot simply.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Aug 25 2018
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This joke is like tying a watch to a belt - A waist of time!
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👤︎ u/King-of-the-Snekes
📅︎ Dec 23 2018
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On tying boats to the top of the car

Dad: hey son, why do you think they strap the boat to the top of the car like that?

Me: well, if it was flipped the other way, I would think the wind would catch it or something.

Dad: no, they do that because if the car flipped on a bridge over water, the boat would let them float on the water.

Me: sigh

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👤︎ u/fakefries
📅︎ Feb 03 2019
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Paul McCartney copes with John Lennon's death by buying hens, and then later tries to fly by tying them to his arms and legs.

As he puts it,

"I get by with a little help from my hens."

"I get high with a little help from my hens."

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👤︎ u/Mutant_Llama1
📅︎ Jun 08 2018
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I spent all morning tying together all my watches into a belt, but I made it too big.

It was a huge waist of time.

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👤︎ u/Wholesome_Chris
📅︎ Mar 29 2018
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What do you call someone obsessed with tying up loose ends?

A tight supremacist

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👤︎ u/renobsnob
📅︎ Jul 08 2016
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My friends said they were doing a knot tying for their wedding ceremony...

I asked them "If you're not tying, what are you going to do for your ceremony?"

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👤︎ u/Myrrun
📅︎ Dec 18 2013
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