A string walks into a bar. The bartender says "we don't serve strings here." The string waks outside, ties himself in a knot, messes up his hair, and walks back into the bar. The bartender says "hey, aren't you the string I just kicked out?" The string replies...

"I'm a frayed knot."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 515
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dream_Song14
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 29 2021
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What name is the best at tying knots?

Lacey.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/fire_nuggets
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2021
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What did Jay Z start calling Beyoncรฉ after they tied the knot?

Bife.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/coloredboyadvance
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 01 2021
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I didn't tie the knot till I was 38

I am hopeless with shoelaces.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VERBERD
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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Do You know how to tie the knot in space?

I'm floating away very quickly.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/camocase
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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A rope walks into a bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, โ€œNo, youโ€™re only a rope.โ€ So he decides to disguise himself. He ties himself into a knot & ruffles his edges a bit. The next day, he walks into the bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, โ€œOf course... Wait, arenโ€™t you that rope?โ€

And the rope replies, โ€œIโ€™m a frayed knot.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/allyyx3
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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A list of over 350 Dad Jokes!

Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

5/4 of people admit theyโ€™re bad at fractions.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. โ€œIโ€™d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,โ€ it says. โ€œSorry, but I canโ€™t serve you,โ€ the bartender replies. โ€œYouโ€™re out of your head.โ€

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. โ€œWe donโ€™t serve your kind here,โ€ the bartender says. โ€œWhy not?โ€ one yogurt asks. โ€œWeโ€™re cultured.โ€

A friend of mine didnโ€™t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. Heโ€™s an extremely aggressive janitor.

A guy walks into a bar, and thereโ€™s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, โ€œWhat are you staring at? Havenโ€™t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?โ€ The guy says, โ€œItโ€™s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.โ€

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, โ€œWhatโ€™s with the paper towel?โ€ The pirate says, โ€œArrr! Iโ€™ve got a Bounty on me head!โ€

A turtle is crossing the road when heโ€™s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, โ€œI donโ€™t know. It all happened so fast.โ€

Armed robbersโ€”some say theyโ€™re a drain on society, but youโ€™ve got to give it to them.

Barbersโ€ฆyou have to take your hat off to them.

Can February March? No, but April May!

Cooking out this weekend? Donโ€™t forget the pickle. Itโ€™s kind of a big dill.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. Thereโ€™s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewisโ€ฆ Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bugasum
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
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Quick Thinking String

A piece of string walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a whiskey.
"We don't serve your kind here", says the bartender.
The string walks out and waits... a boy scout walks by.
"Please tie me into a bow", asks the string. The scout obliges.
"Please undo my ends", asks the string. Again, the scout assists.
The string says thanks and walks back into the bar and sits down.
"Aren't you the same string I just threw outta here?"
"I'm a frayed knot; I'll have a whiskey."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bruised-n-Battered
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 25 2022
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Have you heard the one about the three strings?

One evening, three strings are hanging out looking for something to do. They eventually decide to go to the local pub for a beer. Before walking in, one string says, โ€œWait a momentโ€ฆI heard that they donโ€™t serve strings hereโ€ฆwe better find something else to doโ€.

โ€œNonsense!โ€, says the first string. โ€œJust follow me.โ€

They walk in and approach the bar. The first string confidently says, โ€œGood evening sir. May I please order three beers for me and my mates?โ€.

The bartender looks at them dubiously and asks, โ€œWait a secondโ€ฆ.arenโ€™t you strings?โ€.

The strings nod and the bartender says, โ€œWe donโ€™t serve your kind hereโ€ฆGet out!โ€.

The strings dejectedly walk back onto the street, and the second string says, โ€œHey Iโ€™ve got an idea. Follow meโ€.

They walk back up to the bar and the second string says, โ€œGood evening sir. Iโ€™d like to order three beers, plus drinks on the house for everyone!โ€.

A small cheer goes up among the other bar patrons, and the bartender smiles and turns to fill the order, but then stops. โ€œWait a minuteโ€ฆarenโ€™t you strings?โ€, he asks.

Again, they nod and the bartender says, โ€œWe donโ€™t serve strings hereโ€ฆ.Get out, and donโ€™t come back!โ€.

The strings slink back out once again. At this point, the third string says, โ€œIโ€™ve got it!โ€.

He flips upside down and rubs his head on the sidewalk until itโ€™s sticking up all willy nilly, and ties himself into a knot. He then strides up to the bar and says, โ€œBartender! Get me a beer!โ€.

The bartender looks at him and asks, โ€œArenโ€™t you a string?โ€.

The string then stares him straight in the eyes and says, โ€œIโ€™m a frayed knotโ€.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jackbequikk
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 05 2022
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A string walks into a bar.

A string walks into a bar. Goes to the counter and asks for a drink. The bartender says โ€œWe donโ€™t serve strings here.โ€ Defeated, the string walks outside. He thinks for a moment, and comes up with a plan. The string pulls at the very top of his head. He messes it all up and loosens up what was once in the aglet. He then ties his neck into a knot. He walks back in. He orders a drink. Bartender says, โ€œArenโ€™t you that string that just walked in here?โ€ String says, โ€œNo, Iโ€™m a frayed knot.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SnackyChomp
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 19 2021
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My Granddaughter...( I asked her how she knew what a bar was..." dad told me"....

My Granddaughters Joke... I told her I'd/ we'd make her famous . so I'll show her after.. I posted it She's 6๐Ÿ˜

A piece of string walks into a bar bartender says" sorry we don't serve your kind here", so he walked out and he rubbed himself up in the street, rolled around in the dirt; tied himself up came back in and... the bartender said" Hey aren't you that same piece of string who came in here earlier"? He replied:" nope I'm a frayed knot."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ShEnAnIgAnSs4U
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 29 2021
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A rope walks into a bar...

The bartender says to him, โ€œWe donโ€™t serve rope here; youโ€™ll have to leave.โ€

So the rope goes back outside and ducks around the corner. He ties himself up, dishevels the strands on his head, and walks back into the bar.

Despite his new look, the bartender instantly recognizes him. โ€œWhat did I tell you? We donโ€™t serve rope here!โ€

And the rope replies, โ€œA rope?! Iโ€™m a frayed knot.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 43
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HiFiGuy197
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 21 2021
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3 strings were walking one night and the stopped in front of a bar. 1st string was thirsty, so he goes in, and asked for a beer. The bartender said, "Get out! I don't serve strings!" So the string sadly leaves. 2nd string called the 1st a wimp. He goes in and demands to be served!

But the bartender was firm.

"Get out of here! I don't serve strings!"

The 2nd string sadly leaves.

The 3rd string said, "Both of you are dumb. Watch this!"

And so he frays himself, and ties himself into a knot. He went in, and asked for a beer.

The bartender eyed him suspiciously.

"Are you a string?" the bartender asked.

"Nope!" said the string. "I'm a frayed knot!"

(Quite the yarn, eh?) ๐Ÿ˜‰

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AuntWacky1976
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 04 2021
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A length of rope walks into a bar and orders two shots...

the bartender kicks him out on the daily making it known that they donโ€™t serve ropes in his bar. One day he decides that he may have better luck with a disguise, so he ties himself up in a good tangle and frantically pulls all the fibers apart at both of his cut ends. He walks back into the bar and orders two shots. The bartender says to him, โ€œ Hey...arenโ€™t you that rope I kicked out of here yesterday?โ€. The rope looks at him confused and says, โ€œ No, Iโ€™m a frayed knotโ€.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 50
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/5YearApril
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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My time in the Boy Scouts really made me a supporter of gay marriage

Itโ€™s where I learned you can tie the knot in different ways

๐Ÿ‘︎ 36
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/8675309ice
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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A piece of rope walks into a bar and asks for a beer.

The bartender replies, "I'm sorry, but you're a rope. I can't serve you, and I'm not even sure how I could. Please leave."

A short time later, the rope comes back into the bar and asks for a beer.

The bartender, a bit annoyed at the situation, says, "Look, I told you I can't serve you. Just go away."

A few hours later, the rope comes back in again.

The bartender is getting mad now. "Look, I told you twice that I can't serve alcohol to a rope! Now get out and STAY OUT!"

Dejectedly, the rope leaves the bar and sits at the curb until a gentleman passes by. Suddenly, the piece of rope has an idea.

"Excuse me", says the rope, "but could you do me a favor?"

"Um... me?" says the puzzled gentleman. "Uh... I guess so..."

"Great! I just need you to tie a big ol' knot right in my middle."

"Well," says the gentleman. "I just so happens I was a former Eagle Scout. Here you go," and ties a perfect knot in the rope. "Will that be all?"

The rope pauses for a second and says, "Actually, could you pull apart my ends and unravel them for a bit?"

The gentleman obliges and goes on his merry way. The piece of rope, satisfied at its new appearance, heads back into the bar.

Furious, the bartender shouts, "HEY! Aren't you that same piece of rope I kicked out three times already?!?"

"No, I'm a frayed knot."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 39
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/usernameshortage
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2020
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A piece of rope is walking home one day

When a gang robs the rope, tying it into a knot and cutting it up in the in the process. Some horrified onlookers rush over afterwards and ask "Are you ok?"

The rope replies: "I'm a frayed knot."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/OrionHunter66
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 08 2019
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A piece of string walks into a bar.

Before he sits down the bartender yells โ€œHey! We donโ€™t serve pieces of string like you!โ€

The piece of string goes outside, ties himself in a bow, and rolls around on the ground for a bit. Then he gets up, goes back into the bar, and sits down.

The bartender says โ€œArenโ€™t you that piece of string?โ€ The string replies โ€œNo. Iโ€™m a frayed knot.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Rav4xle
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 25 2020
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A construction worker goes to a fancy restaurant and his a dress code problem.

The man goes into the fancy restaurant and have a discussion with the host:

Host Sir, you cannot come in here with out a belt. We have standards.

The man goes out to his car and puts on a belt fashioned out of some rope. He goes back in.

Host Alright.... I guess you have a belt....You still need a jacket.

The man goes back out to his car and fishes out a jacket his wore to a wedding a year ago. He shares it off, brushes it with his hand, and puts it on.

Host Ok. You still need a tie. It is required.

The man goes out to his car. He doesn't have a tie. He puts on jumper cables and makes a perfect Windsor knot.

Host You have a belt and a jacket. I guess you have a tie.

Just don't try to start something....

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/WinnieTheEeyore
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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How does an ant put on a tie?

With a considerable deal of practice and skill and the correct combination of knots in the tie so it can properly be secured on the neck. It's an ant-tie joke.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 36
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kickypie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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A man and a woman are at a bar

A man and a woman are sitting in a bar. After some time, the woman notices that the man has not looked in her direction once. Curious, she asks the man if he would like to buy her a drink.

Playing coy the man responds, "Ma'am, you are beautiful indeed, but are you talented as well?"

Feeling flirty, the woman takes a cherry from the bar and puts it in her mouth, stem and all. Within seconds she swallows the cherry, spits out the seed, and reveals the stem, tied in a perfect knot.

The man chuckles. Without another word he picks up a cherry and pulls off the stem. He puts the stem in his mouth, and pounds the rest of his beer in one gulp, revealing and empty mouth to the woman.

Perplexed, the woman asks, "Is that supposed to impress me?"

Confidently, the man replies, "Indeed I do believe it will."

She laughs and says, "It will? Are you shitting me?"

He responds, "I shit you knot."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MadeToDisagree
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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Two prisoners are working in the laundry room on the top floor of the jail.

After a couple hours, the guard on duty steps away to use the bathroom.

The one prisoner says: "Quick, this is our chance to escape. We only have a few minutes so have to work together. You rip bedsheets into strips and I'll tie them into a rope, then we can climb down through the window.

The other agrees, "Got it. I sheet, you knot."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KW-DadJoker
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 30 2020
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A man is walking into an expensive restaurant when...

A man is walking into an expensive restaurant when he is stopped by the Maitre'D, who tells him that he can't be admitted without a necktie. The man, late for his appointment, runs back out to his car and searches high and low. Finally, out of desperation, he grabs a set of jumper cables, ties them into a rough knot around his neck and runs back into the restaurant. The Maitre'D stares at him for a few seconds and finally says, "Alright, I'll let you in..." and then leans in and says in a low growl, "but you'd better not try to start anything."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sherzeg
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 22 2020
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A man went to a nightclub with a piece of string.

The bouncer said, "You can't come in. You haven't got a tie."

The man replied "Yes, I have. It's this piece of string."

The man asked the string "Are you a tie?"

The string replied "No, I'm a frayed knot."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/B_scuit
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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Help me with math

Why are there so many singles working in the rope factory? Letters are: P,I,H,Y,E,T,O,L,A,N,K Thanks :) Edit: found it, they all hope to tie the knot

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NotAPenguin46
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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The Seattle Symphony is playing Beethoven's 9th.

In the version they're doing, the bass section plays a bit at the start, then just sits there til the final part of the last movement. So, they decide to leave the concert and go out for drinks.

While at the bar down the street, they meet a European nobleman, and they become good friends. Unfortunately, the guy had been gorging himself on crappy bar food, and he quickly falls into a food coma.

One of the basses drunkenly checks his watch and says, "crap! We're not going to get back on stage in time!" As they're sprinting back, one of them says, "actually, I thought this would happen, so I tied some of the pages of the conductor's score together - that way, he'll have to slow the tempo way down with his right hand while undoes the knots with his left!"

And so they get back just in time to finish the Symphony, and the audience is none the wiser. The conductor, however, was furious.

After all, they'd left him at the bottom of the 9th, with the score tied, while the basses were loaded, and the Count was full.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PhantomImmortal
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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Hi. My name is DAK.

Hi. My name is DAK. A piece of string walks into a bar. The bartender says โ€œsorry sir we donโ€™t serve string hereโ€. He then proceeds to tie him into a knot and throw in outside. Whilst outside, a pack of feral canines attack the piece of string until his fibers are loosened in a disheveled manner. The piece of string them proceeds to re enter the bar in need of medical assistance. โ€œHey, arenโ€™t you the string I just threw out?โ€ Asks the bartender. โ€œNo sir,โ€ replies the string, โ€œIโ€™m a frayed knotโ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/USMPShauserC
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
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Three pieces of string want to go into a no strings allowed bar.

The first piece of string says itโ€™s all about the attitude and struts into the bar. The bouncer looks at him and says, โ€œno stings allowedโ€ and throws him out.

The second piece of string says, โ€œyouโ€™ve got to be sneakyโ€ and tries to sneak in. But the bouncer sees him and says โ€œno stings allowedโ€ and throws him out.

The third piece of string thinks โ€œmaybe if I disguise myselfโ€. He then ties himself into a know and frays his edge. The bouncer looks at him confused and asks, โ€œhey, are you a string?โ€

The sting replies, โ€œno, Iโ€™m a frayed knotโ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sirmorganc
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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I fell in love with a rope

Eventually we tied the knot

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Shreilly1999
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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A string is walking home one Friday evening after a long week at work

And so the string decides that he shall stop at his favorite Pub and treat himself to a pint before going home to the wife. But after a decent walk he arrives at the pub to find a new sign on the door that reads " No Strings Allowed".

The string becomes infuriated. "How dare they" he thinks to himself. After having been a loyal patron for 10 years he decides this injustice is not to be tolerated and comes up with a plan.

He takes a moment and steps into the back alley way to be discreet. While he is there he ties himself into a knot and frays the top. Content with his disguise he marches back around to the front, enters the bar and has a seat when requests a pint of beer.

The bartender being a little suspicious looks at him a little uneasily but just can't seem to peg what the problem is. He serves him the beer regardless while keeping a close eye on the suspicious character. A little while later the string decides that the week at work has been so long that he is deserving of two pints of beer before going home to retire for the weekend.

It is just at that point when the bartender is serving him his second pint that he pauses and looks at the string and says "Hold on one minute! Aren't you a string?"

To which the string replied, "Sorry, I'm a frayed knot".

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CannaBrained
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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Got my wife last night.

Getting out of the shower I slapped grabbed and jiggled my wife's butt, she responded with an uuugghhh, can you not? I said yeah what do you need a bow knot, square knot, tie knot? I know a lot of knots. Naturally I got the expected eye roll and another long drawn out uuuugggghhhhh.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 36
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/metalxhead
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 23 2016
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i'm practicing for when i hit the big time...

girlfriends cat ate about 5" of the string to tie off one of her dresses, it was partway out of the cats rear end when she got home from work- saw it- called vet- was told to take her to the local animal hospital.

So we get there and shes explaining to the receptionist what happened, I dropped them with a "we're just in knots about it", and during the wait with a "sophia's (the cat) really stringing us along with this one". My favorite was with the doctor when she finally brought the cat out saying she seems ok to take home- "well all set then? no strings attached?"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 141
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/eggs-benedict
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 20 2013
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Rope walks into the bar. Bartender says, Sorry we donโ€™t serve ropes here. Rope walks out, messes himself up, ties himself in a knot, and walks back into the bar. Bartender asked if heโ€™s a rope!

Rope replies Iโ€™m a frayed knot.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FalseBlood8746
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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A string walks into a bar...

...and the bartender says: Hey! Can't you read the sign? No strings allowed!

The string walks back outside, ruffled his hair, tied himself together and goes back inside.

Taking a seat at the bar, the bartender walks back over and says: Hey! Aren't you that string?

To which the string replies: Nope, I'm a frayed knot!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 75
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ItsMrTree
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 08 2021
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A string walks into a bar and asks for a drink...

Bartender says, "we don't serve strings here."

The string goes outside, ties himself in a knot, frays his hair.

The string goes back inside. The bartender serves him a drink and says, "hey wait a minute, weren't you that string from earlier?"

And the string says, "I'm a frayed knot!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 50
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Kahnartist81
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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A Piece of String Walks Into A Bar

....And the bartender says "Hey! We don't serve no bits of string in this bar! Get out!"

So the piece of string walks outside, ties himself in a bow, and cuts each of his ends with some scissors. Then he heads back into the bar.

The bartender says "Hey! Aren't you that piece of string I just ran out of here?"

And the string says "Nope. I'm a frayed knot."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 25 2021
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Two pieces of string slither into a bar...

They climb up a couple of bar stools and have a seat. One of them says to the bartender, "Hey, give me and my partner here a beer would you?"

The bartender replied, "Sorry, we don't serve strings here."

So they climb down off of the bar stools and slither across the floor and out of the bar.

One says to the other,"Lets go down the street. I know of a better bar than this one anyways."

"Now wait a minute, said the other string.This is clearly discrimination!"

"Well what do you intend to do about it?"said the other string?

"I'm going to go back in with a disguise and I'll get that damn beer." So he ties himself in a knot, frazzles up one end of himself,goes back into the bar,slithers across the floor and climbs up the bar stool. He says to the bartender, "I'd like a beer please."

The bartender says," Wait a minute . Aren't you the same piece of string that was in here a while ago?"

So the string said, "No.I'm a frayed knot.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/shdchko
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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A piece of rope walks into a bar .....

...... and asks for a beer.

Bartender says "We don't serve your kind here."

So the rope walks outside and asks the first guy he sees to tie him in a knot and split his ends.

As he walked back into the bar the bartender says, "Hey! Aren't you that rope I just sent out of here?"

The rope smiles and says, "No. I'm a frayed knot."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 46
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/the_MCH
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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What happens when two pieces of rope fall in love?

They tie the knot.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dens382
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
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A string walks into a bar...

Bartender says "Hey! You're too young to be in here! Get lost!"

The string goes outside, and to disguise himself, ties himself in a loop and messes up his hair and walks back in.

The bartender sees him and yells "Hey! Aren't you the string I just threw out of here!?"

"I'm a frayed knot."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DeChadley
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
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Three ropes are walking into a bar when they see a sign outside that says, "We don't serve ropes."

The first rope goes in and asks for a drink and the bartender says, "We don't serve ropes. You'll have to leave."

The second rope goes in and asks for a drink and the bartender says, "We don't serve ropes. You'll have to leave."

The third rope ties himself in a knot and undoes his top braid a bit and ruffles it up. He goes in and asks for a drink. The bartender asks, "Say, aren't you a rope?"

He replies, "I'm a frayed knot."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 140
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BradC
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 21 2017
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My dads famous joke of jokes.

Dad- String walks into a bar and orders a beer, the bartender says "are you a string"? The string replies "yes" and the bartender says "get out of here we don't serve strings".

The string walks into another bar and orders a beer, the bartender says "are you a string"? The string replies "yes" and the bartender says "get out of here we don't serve strings". He ties himself in a knot and frays the bottom of the string.

He goes to another bar and orders some beer. The bartender says "Hey are you a string."

They string replys "freyed knot".

๐Ÿ‘︎ 569
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dancing_junkie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 17 2013
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A string walks into a bar...

Bartender: โ€œHey we donโ€™t serve strings here.โ€

(String walks out and ties himself in a loop and messes up his hair... the string then walks back into the bar)

Bartender: โ€œAre you the string that was just in here?โ€

String: โ€œNope, Iโ€™m a frayed knotโ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/timaaayyy
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2019
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A piece of rope walks into a bar

Bartender: We donโ€™t serve your kind here Rope: walks out and ties himself up and spikes itโ€™s hair Bartender: Arenโ€™t you the guy I just told to get out? Rope: Iโ€™m a frayed knot...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Negro-Long-Schlong
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 08 2019
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String walks into a pub and......

So a piece of string walks into a pub, grabs a stool at the bar when he sees a sign that says "Strings not Allowed in this Establishment". He quickly ties himself into a knot before the bartender walks up and says "Hey!, are you a string??"

"No, I'm afraid knot"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/EvadNamNav
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 22 2017
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A piece of string walks into a bar

The bartender says "we don't serve string here"

The string walks outside, ties himself up, and messes up his hair. He walks back in.

"Aren't you the string I just sent away?"

"No, I'm a fraid knot."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 55
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/turnburn720
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 01 2016
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A piece of string and his buddies go into a bar

A piece of string and his buddies go into a bar. The bartender looks up and says we donโ€™t serve strings here, but they sit down anyway. The bartender walks over to the table and says either he can leave, or you all can leave, I donโ€™t care, then the bartender walks away. The string says let me see if I can make this better, and he goes up to talk to the bartender with no success. And goes back to the table. He sits there for a minute thinking. The string then ties himself into a knot, and frays his end and then go back up to the bar to get drinks for the table. The bartender looks at him skeptically, and saysโ€ arenโ€™t you that piece of string, and the string repliesโ€no, Iโ€™m a frayed knotโ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bunsofsteel_MRI_boy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
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