True story: So we were out today and sat at a table for some food. My 4yo asked what the holes and and notches were in the wood and my wife says β€œthey are knot holes”.

Miss4 says β€œif they are not holes, what are they?”

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DannyGere
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I did knot see that one coming!
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/getonmylevel205
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I didn't tie the knot till I was 38

I am hopeless with shoelaces.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Rope walks into the bar. Bartender says, Sorry we don’t serve ropes here. Rope walks out, messes himself up, ties himself in a knot, and walks back into the bar. Bartender asked if he’s a rope!

Rope replies I’m a frayed knot.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FalseBlood8746
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a monkey caught in a knot?

An orangutangle

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IWantToBeAHipster
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Where were knots invented?

Tie-land.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bullsaint
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Knot finished with this format yet
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Extrahub
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
There couldn't be a tier list for knots because they would all be tied
πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Y knot?
πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pequalsnpsquared
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Do You know how to tie the knot in space?

I'm floating away very quickly.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/camocase
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Im knot sure
πŸ‘︎ 375
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mounis11
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Stare at this picture and watch me make this knot disappear.
πŸ‘︎ 760
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JT078
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2018
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine is a knot theorist and I told him a joke that wasn’t about knot theory.

He said he’s too old for not-knot jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brainsonastick
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm coming up with knot designs shaped like letters of the Alphabet.

Because, well, Y knot?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Skeletor_Uber
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Could you knot?
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/H0T_TRAMP
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Oh buoy. Knot again...
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ducksarewitches
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2017
🚨︎ report
not a perfect knot
πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CircuitBreakerV
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Eye dew knot gnaw watt two dew

Eats too inn the mourning end eye veal lyke ass leap

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/daunfifi123c456b
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My colleague asked me if i was good at tying knots

I am married for the 3rd time, does that count?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/empressofglasgow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
These ones must be taut what knot to do
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
A knot in a plank of wood imgur.com/4OARPYD
πŸ‘︎ 405
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/avapoet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2017
🚨︎ report
A rope walks into a bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, β€œNo, you’re only a rope.” So he decides to disguise himself. He ties himself into a knot & ruffles his edges a bit. The next day, he walks into the bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, β€œOf course... Wait, aren’t you that rope?”

And the rope replies, β€œI’m a frayed knot.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/allyyx3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
People are wondering whether I have any more of these bracelets - I’m a frayed knot
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aidanizcool
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
A bunch of knots were at a restaurant, but only one had dinner? Which one had dinner?

Figure eight.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Joey_the_Duck
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend walks into my room and starts tying knots in my charging cable.

Without hesitating, I respond, "You know, that's knot in a cord with what most people call good manners."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eThunderSnow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Nazi who loves to tie knots and always says, "Nein!".

A Naughty Nazi.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tacosnarf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend asked if I could go a day without making a 'stupid' pun... frayed knot.
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tale_of_tejon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2017
🚨︎ report
'fraid knot
πŸ‘︎ 391
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mario6813
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2017
🚨︎ report
I love knots.

That shit is tight.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crciv
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Patient: Doctor, I swallowed some rope last night Doctor: Have you got it out of you system yet? Patient: I'm a frayed knot
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lolmarco
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
At a formal event, roll your tie up into a little bundle just below the knot.

 

 

Then ask someone, "which of the 2 flaps do you think will unravel first?"

 

After they guess, let in unravel and go, "Its a tie!"

 

...continue doing this to every single person you can in the room wearing a shit eating grin the whole time, until your wife pulls you aside and tells you it's time to leave (out of embarrassment and frustration).

 

now you get to go back home and do Dad stuff as you please!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jakjaklivs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
If you can twist a can into a knot,

then you cannot

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anndvision
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Knot again
πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Knot on my watch!
πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/furrik524
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Special Report: Execution Botched Today Due to Hangman's Absence During Knot Tying Seminar in his Youth

Breaking Noose

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joeywithanr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
If one is an expert in tying knots,

One does knot simply.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Knot.exe
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anne1Frank
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Knot to get your hopes up
πŸ‘︎ 211
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brinelax
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2014
🚨︎ report
Most pretzels are dough knots
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quenoquesoporque
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
🚨︎ report
"I'm A Frayed Knot"

When People Tell Me That Joke, I Never Know What To Say. I'm Absolutely Tongue Tied. Which Is A Pity, Since It Takes Two To Tangle.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AppsPotato
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear about the knot contest?

It ended in a tie.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr_Acula1213
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2014
🚨︎ report
I once tried to do a fancy knot in my necktie, but it turned out so bad I went crazy and summoned a Great Old One.

Never figured I would bring forth and Eldredge Abomination.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dgrubbnasty
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
🚨︎ report
If you struggle with a windsor knot...

does that make you a tie fighter?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vader2000
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2015
🚨︎ report
Can you undo a frayed knot ?

A frayed knot ?

Yes a frayed knot.

Afraid not.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Themartyman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Knot knot

Shoes there.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ramichaud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
🚨︎ report

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