Driving the neighborhood, I told my son we would use the odometer to measure out our Turkey Trot 5k

> Son: It's gonna take a lot of yard sticks.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/onejdc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
If horses gallop and trot,

Do sea horses scallop and trout?

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DolphinzX
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Wonder if dad will trot this one out this year

How does King Wenceslas like his pizza? Deep pan crisp and even

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Notknow-knotnow
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2015
🚨︎ report
Nice sweatshirt. 5K Turkey Trot? What'd you run it in?

Well, it was kind of chilly, so some running tights and a light jacket.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PRESTOALOE
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2014
🚨︎ report
A man was trotting across the Prairie when is horse suddenly died...

It took him three days to make it to the closest town. To his dismay, nobody in that town had a horse for sale. So he started walking to the next town. After three days the man, exhausted, started asking around and looking for a horse for sale.Again, nobody could help him.He did,however,stumbled upon a place that sold horses but the man in charge was fresh out.

"Sold my last one just yesterday,"he said."I do, however, have a brother that sells horses. He's about a day's walk west.He owns a corral. He might have a horse to sell you."

So, once again, he sets foot West to the next town and finds the mans brother.

"I heard you might have a horse for sale, he asks."

"Well, I have one, but he don't look so good."he replies.

"I don't care. I've been walking for darn near a week and I'm tired and exhausted. I'll take him."

So after the man pays for the horse, he hops on him takes off and the horse hits a tree and stops.

"Hey,"the man says." I think you sold me a blind horse.Fact is, I'm sure of it!"

"Sir, I told you he don't look so good."the man fires back.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A globe-trotting vulture tried to bring his breakfast and lunch onto the plane

"I'm sorry, sir, you're only authorized ONE carrion."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a communist horse?

Trots-ky

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
A horse trotted into a bar.

"I must have forgotten that Trump set the bar so low" he mumbled as he picked himself up and staggered into the bar and grill next to it. Upon seeing him, the bartender said, "hey!" The horse said, "neigh... but I'll take one for the road." The asphalt in the corner said, "thanks horse. Why the big pause?" The horse replied, "oh this is my friend the bear. He was born with big pas." "Yeah," said the bear. "I was adopted by two grizzly fathers. Turns out they weren't koala-fied to give birth to me." "Ugh," said the chicken after seeing how late it is. "I'm late to get to the other side of the road. See ya all later!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don’t horses eat spicy food?

It gives them the trots.

πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s another name for a young horse?

A trot-ler...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What sport would communists like to introduce?

Trot-skiing

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Huahuawei
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2017
🚨︎ report
A newborn pony walks into a pharmacy

He asks the pharmacist, "Do you have any cepacol lozenges? I'm a little hoarse"

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/salty904
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2016
🚨︎ report
I tried to take my arrogant horse for a walk this summer, but it resisted.

It thought it was too hot to trot.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a running potato?

A tater trot.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Request: Horse Birthday Puns

It's my friend's birthday, I'm trying to think of a clever horse pun to send her for her birthday because she really likes horses. I suck at this, and am a bit dis-trot. Plz help I will love you forever.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/guzmonster11
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2016
🚨︎ report
A man goes to buy a horse (long)

So he finds the man who owns the horse. The owner takes him to the stable. The buyer asks to take the horse for a test ride.

 

"Okay," says the owner. "But I'm a retired church pastor. The horse will only go forward if you say, 'Praise the lord.' He will only stop moving if you say 'Hallelujah.' "

 

Feeling annoyed, the buyer says "That's fine," and he gets up on the horse. After the seller returns to the house, the buyer, mounted on the horse, whips the reins and says, "Hiyah!!" The horse doesn't move. "Yah," he said, spurring the horse. Still no movement. Feeling a little embarrassed and stupid, he complied to the owner's instruction. "Praise the Lord," he mumbled, and the horse began quickly trotting away from the stable.

 

Wow, the buyer thought, excited. I wonder how fast this horse can go. "Praise the Lord," he said, this time at normal volume. The horse sped up considerably.

 

Amazing! I must have this horse! the buyer thought. "Praise the Lord!" he shouted. "Praise the Lord!" And the horse kept speeding up. The stable behind them was no longer visible.

But the horse and the buyer were speedily approaching a huge canyon. Seeing this ahead, the buyer commanded, "St- stop! Whoaaa, horse!" But the horse kept the charge forward. "Hallelujah!" the buyer shouted. And the horse stopped at the edge of the vast canyon, with only inches of ground to spare.

Looking up to the sky, the buyer sighed in relief. "Praise the Lord."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/littlekuribandit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.