Someone stole the toilet seat at the police station

Investigators have nothing to go on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/javerthugo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Two flies were fighting on a toilet seat

One got pissed off

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KONAMIC0DE
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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What does a pirate say when he sits down on a really cold toilet seat? /r/Jokes/comments/jl5zxl/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timberdoodledan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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Do you use toilet seat liners in public restrooms?

Or do you not give a crap

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πŸ‘€︎ u/platformjuan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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What did the toilet seat wear to the party?

A butt on down

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coloredboyadvance
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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I'm absolutely terrible about leaving the toilet seat up, I admit.

But I probably shouldn't have married a blind woman and like to laugh so much.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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My wife yelled at me to put the toilet seat down

I can’t even remember why I was carrying it around

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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If you slide around too much on the toilet seat

You might get a turd degree burn.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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If you sit on a toilet seat, you are connecting your butthole to a city network of buttholes...

And that's a huge ass connection.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lumikue
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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It's so hot here in Australia right now that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up...

... just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Her: In the future, can you put the toilet seat down?

Me: Now I need to know how to time travel?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
🚨︎ report
A broken toilet seat makes a shitty toboggan
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife told me to put down the toilet seat.

So I walked over to it and said, "You stink of urine!"

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
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I found a snake under my toilet seat...

Turns out it was a butt viper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lookenspeeper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Any new leads on the missing toilet seats?

Not yet, we still have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bumsieboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
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When your home alone but the toilet seat is warm

...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TurtleMarshan02
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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This toilet seat cover’s brand name...
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2018
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Why did the pubic hair on the toilet seat, drown?

It was pissed off!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eltegs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
🚨︎ report
"Wanna hear a dirty joke? Wanna know why they make toilet seats so freezing cold?"

"So it'll freeze the shit out of you."

Also,

"Here I sit all brokenhearted: tried to shit and only farted."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/getwronged
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2013
🚨︎ report
My wife yelled at me, telling me to put the toilet seat down...

Don't know why I was carrying it around in the first place.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinnBelly21
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone stole all the toilet seats at the police station.

The police are trying to find the thief but they have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
There were 2 fly’s on a toilet seat.

One got pissed off.

πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xXKilltheBearXx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
If you sit on a toilet seat, you are connecting your butthole to a city network of buttholes.

And that's a huge ass connection.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife just told me to put the toilet seat down.

I don't know why I was carrying it around in the first place

πŸ‘︎ 160
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrcheckpointeh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Two fleas were sitting on a toilet seat

One of them got pissed off.

πŸ‘︎ 103
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpecOpsAlpha
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Two flies are arguing on a toilet seat

One gets pissed off

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kthxtyler
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2017
🚨︎ report
What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?

He got pissed off!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theconnorh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did he fly on the toilet seat leave?

He got pissed off.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leftlanecruiser_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the fly on the toilet seat?

He got pissed off

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wuzupmyhomiz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2015
🚨︎ report
Two flies were arguing while sitting on a toilet seat

..then one got pissed off

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sh0nuff
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2014
🚨︎ report
What happened to the angry fly on the toilet seat?

It got pissed off.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jdheath
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2014
🚨︎ report

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