Why do thermometers seem so shady?

Because they’re always up to something.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/martianrome
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Do you know the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between red and blue thermometers?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/devildocjames
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?

The taste.

Kindly stolen from my friend who is an ER doc.

πŸ‘︎ 127
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/foxtrot_uckilo
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
A nurse looks in her pocket, and finds a rectal thermometer.

She says, in exasperation, β€œsome arsehole’s got my pen.”

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LTAD2108
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I took my 1 year old to the ER with the flu. As the nurse was taking her temperature rectally with the thermometer in the butt, he sympathized with her misery by saying β€œI know, it stinks.”

To which I responded β€œIt certainly will when you take it out.” I accepted the long awkward silence that followed as thunderous applause.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Khoalb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My doctor was struggling to write my prescription when I said β€œDoctor, that’s a rectal thermometer in your hand!”

He replied, β€œDammit! Some asshole’s got my pen!”

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/seattledandy
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
🚨︎ report
The new Coronavirus rectal thermometer...

Is a real pain in the ass

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m an ER nurse and I just found a rectal thermometer in my pocket.

Some asshole’s got my pen!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/onejoelyrancher
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Excuse me, nurse. Why do you have a rectal thermometer behind your ear?

Oh shit! Some asshole has my pen.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AskSageNate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

You may have graduated but i have many degrees!

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scaryAstronaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a normal sized thermometer?

Fare in height

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/butt3rnugg3t
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Who took the nurse's rectal thermometer?

Some asshole.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste!

This is one of my dad’s favorite jokes to tell, he passed away two years ago, miss you a lot dad!

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I own two thermometers of exactly the same size.

I guess you could say they're fair in height.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SactoGamer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2016
🚨︎ report
Why can’t thermometers be wrong?

Because then they’d be therdadometers. Told this one to my wife she seemed to like it...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ufgatorengineer11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SlugBoy42
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Whats the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aashaychavishay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/peanut31
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
How can you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/magicmitchmtl
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal one?

The flavor.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gnjm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket?

β€œSome asshole has my pen.”

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HalyconBolt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/knackerthrasher
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and an anal thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LDJ007
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/peanut31
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wrynot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a rectal and, a oral thermometer?

The taste

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jesuscide
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/peanut31
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nihilman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Link_s09
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket and thinks

"Some asshole has my pen"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the doctor pull a rectal thermometer out of their pocket?

Some asshole has their pen.

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fox3717
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a rectal and oral thermometer?

The taste

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dirtydan2003
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phatbatt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
A nurse finds her thermometer in her breastpocket and thinks:

" some asshole has got my pen."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lasertrex
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket

Sighs, and says "Crap, some asshole has my pen."

πŸ‘︎ 96
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2017
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a rectal thermometer and a regular one?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WellShitTheBed
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer, and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lumber__Zach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you tell a rectal thermometer from an oral thermometer?

The flavor.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Amd20555
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.