Why do thermometers seem so shady?
Because they’re always up to something.
Do you know the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?
What's the difference between red and blue thermometers?
What’s the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?
The taste.
Kindly stolen from my friend who is an ER doc.
A nurse looks in her pocket, and finds a rectal thermometer.
She says, in exasperation, “some arsehole’s got my pen.”
I took my 1 year old to the ER with the flu. As the nurse was taking her temperature rectally with the thermometer in the butt, he sympathized with her misery by saying “I know, it stinks.”
To which I responded “It certainly will when you take it out.” I accepted the long awkward silence that followed as thunderous applause.
My doctor was struggling to write my prescription when I said “Doctor, that’s a rectal thermometer in your hand!”
He replied, “Dammit! Some asshole’s got my pen!”
The new Coronavirus rectal thermometer...
Is a real pain in the ass
I’m an ER nurse and I just found a rectal thermometer in my pocket.
Some asshole’s got my pen!
Excuse me, nurse. Why do you have a rectal thermometer behind your ear?
Oh shit! Some asshole has my pen.
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
You may have graduated but i have many degrees!
What do you call a normal sized thermometer?
Who took the nurse's rectal thermometer?
What is the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!
This is one of my dad’s favorite jokes to tell, he passed away two years ago, miss you a lot dad!
I own two thermometers of exactly the same size.
I guess you could say they're fair in height.
Why can’t thermometers be wrong?
Because then they’d be therdadometers. Told this one to my wife she seemed to like it...
What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
Whats the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
How can you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal one?
What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket?
“Some asshole has my pen.”
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and an anal thermometer?
What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
What is the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
What’s the difference between a rectal and, a oral thermometer?
What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
What's the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?
A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket and thinks
"Some asshole has my pen"
Why did the doctor pull a rectal thermometer out of their pocket?
Some asshole has their pen.
What is the difference between a rectal and oral thermometer?
What’s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
A nurse finds her thermometer in her breastpocket and thinks:
" some asshole has got my pen."
A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket
Sighs, and says "Crap, some asshole has my pen."
What’s the difference between a rectal thermometer and a regular one?
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer, and a rectal thermometer?
How do you tell a rectal thermometer from an oral thermometer?
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