What to you call a gentleman with bad hygiene that loves to tell puns?

Pungent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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You can't tell puns to a kleptomaniac...

They take things literally.

(Free irony included, this joke is shamelessly stolen)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Draug88
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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I heard my friends dad likes to tell puns

Their dad jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGamerBoy015
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
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A buddy of mine named his dog β€œ5 Miles” so he could tell people he walked 5 miles

But today he ran over 5 Miles

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigaMike123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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My wife tells me I have 2 major faults,

I don't listen - and something else.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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I said to my kids, "Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do! Take Beethoven for example. They told him he could not be a musician because he was deaf!"

"But he didn't listen!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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I can always tell, just by looking, when someone is lying.

I can also tell when they're standing.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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Why don't eggs tell jokes?

They would crack eachother up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bon-Echo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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Did I tell you guys about the cross-eyed teacher?

She couldn’t control her pupils.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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How do you tell the difference between a male door and a female door?

One has a ding-dong and the other has knockers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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I can't tell you all Japanese history in one joke...

But I can Samurais

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/S0n0fRuss
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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I use a lot of the jokes from here, but I always tell folks where I got them.

Just giving cReddit where it's due.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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A priest does not tell dad jokes

He tells father jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/qarasaq
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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I was going to tell my friend a terrible bowling joke

But then I spared him

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slightedninja
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Cheap Phineas and Ferb pun; I know it sucks you don't need to tell me

Why couldn't Doofenshmirtz do his fractions?
Because Perry got rid of the denom-inator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlurredPrey87
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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Is it a dad joke when your daughter tells it?

My 11 year old to my 9 year old, as we drive by a cemetery on a hill : "i wonder why they bury people in a hill."

9 year old, in total deadpan: "because they're dead."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/g5van5g
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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A Mexican magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3.

He says, β€œuno, dos..” and then POOF he disappeared without a tres…

πŸ‘︎ 674
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ParadoxXSchock
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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I never remember what people tell me at New Year's parties

It goes in one year and out the other.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kellzone
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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Why do we tell actors to β€œbreak a leg?”

Because every play has a cast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kattykat21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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I can't tell dad jokes

Because he's not here. I'll tell him when he's back though.

Edit: Thank u for the award kind stranger. :D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/omarkrimlyreddit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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My smartwatch can't tell me if I have a virus.

But it does tell me if I have ran somewhere.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UserCheckNamesOut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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I wanted to tell a joke about pizza

But it's just too cheesy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bellagirlsaysno
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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My father wouldn't tell me his name unless I kill those teens

Luke - what would he say?

>!Anakin - Pulp-a-teen!<

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GawkaMolley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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I was going to tell a time traveling joke...

But you didn’t like it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VikingLord17
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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I tell you what always catches my eye....

Short people with umbrellas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoolPaul75
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Me when people tell me I make too many puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atrashx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Don’t tell the mods that this is a repost.

https://imgur.com/gallery/n5TLdNy

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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The Tells bowling adventures

Everyone knows the story about William Tell shooting an apple off his son's head but not many know that the Tell family was huge into bowling, even joined a league. Sadly, the records weren't kept safe and to this very day we have no idea for whom the Tells bowled.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/baronvb1123
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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I was about to tell a joke about Sodium.

But then I thought, β€œNa”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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My son and I were waiting at a train crossing. He tells me "that train looks bigger than I remember"

So I say, "It's been training"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elnateo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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My pet ted just found out he's not my biological son. So I had to tell him..

"you're a-dog-ted"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/puzzlemaster1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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What did 2 tell 3 when he saw 6 acting like an idiot?

Don’t mind him. He is just a product of our times.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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What did the revolutionary bread tell the other breads?

We have to rise up, my breadren

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nword55
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Can anyone tell me the Japanese word for "good"

I dont know it, but I thought umaido

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Guy's doctor tells him he's sick. He says "I want a second opinion."

Doc says "Okay, you're ugly too."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dirty_boris
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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I don't tell Dad Jokes very often.

But when I do, he laughs every time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GodDarnBatman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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The best way to tell the difference between an Indian and an African elephant is

that one of them is an elephant.

πŸ‘︎ 216
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmBeeCSGO
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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Let me tell you what I know about dwarves

Very Little

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YolkyBoii
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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When people tell me I'm good at the theremin, I have to give credit to my wife.

She also likes it when I don't touch her.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brichouse
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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Dad, hey can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?

No son

πŸ‘︎ 578
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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My employer asked me to tell a bit about myself

1

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iskelmaikel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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Why can’t Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best mate?

They are both cauldron.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kabukimansanjoe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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Im gonna tell my kids that the Titanic was carrying a lot of mayonnaise

And that it sunk on the 5th of May which is why we commemorate the Sinko de Mayo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cannedsand3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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How can you tell when a country isn't fake?

When it Israel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anarchyinyourhead
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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I was gonna tell a story about my buddies jogging club,

But it's just a running joke among friends

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Craftninja7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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What does panda tells to another panda after taking all its food?

You just got bamboozled.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beeegeryoshi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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How do you tell your friends that you have coronavirus?

I’ve got no taste, buds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatIsNeat47
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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Yes, I am Christian; no, I can't tell you more about it.

Only my wife gets to enjoy my missionary position.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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I can always tell when someone is lying just by looking at them.

I can tell when they're standing too.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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I can always tell, just by looking, when someone is lying.

I can also tell if they’re standing.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/guitasketball
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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