Thomas Edison walks into a bar
The bartender say "I'll serve you alright, but don't get any ideas"
What does Thomas the Tank Engine call his teen brother?
Why was Thomas the tank engine out of breath?
What did the student say after visiting the Thomas Edison Museum?
I enjoyed being enlightened
Dad: I was named after Thomas Jefferson
Son: But dad your name is Brian
Dad: I know but I was named after him
Just lost two precious pets, Jeremiah and Thomas. Gonna miss you little guys
What does Thomas the Tank Engine say when it bites it's fingernails?
My friend walked up quietly and said, "hi Thomas." Then I heard a whiny voice say "hiii Thommasss." "Did you just make fun of yourself saying hi?" I asked my friend.
"Oh no," he replied. "That's my shoes... I'm wearing mockasins."
My son used to be COMPLETELY addicted to Thomas the Tank Engine - but it’s no longer a problem because
Why was Thomas Edison able to invent the light bulb?
Because he was very bright
You’ve heard of Thomas the Tank Engine, now get ready for Jet-Ski Gretzky!
A new study is showing surprising advances in primate evolution: Dr. Thomas Ink, a researcher in southern Africa has found certain groups of apes 'brewing' alcohol by leaving old fruit to stand in water pools then drinking from it and becoming inebriated.
Dr. Ink has dubbed these 'Monkey Bars'.
Thomas Edison really lit up the scientific world
What do you call a Thomas Cook flight going backwards?
If Tom is short for Thomas
What does Thomas the Tank Engine use to raise pancakes?
Thomas Jefferson was the first person to ever write an ice cream recipe in America
It was pretty revolutionary.
What does Thomas the Tank Engine drink?
Letitia Wright who plays Shuri in Plack Panther found out that Thomas Sanders called her a Disney Princess.
Few people know that Thomas Edison and Nikola Tesla put aside their differences and started a rock band together.
My wife bought our son some Thomas & Friends shoes.
I asked her if they were cross-trainers.
What was Thomas Jefferson's dad's name?
Did you hear Thomas the Tank Engine became a vampire?
Yeah, now he lives in Trainsylvania.
Thomas Edison was the type of guy who really knew how to light up a room.
Just watched Odd Thomas.
Dad - I was ODDly entertained...
My dad is no longer with us, but I know this is what he would say.
Hope that's ok.
Did you know that famous German pop singers Dieter Bohlen and Thomas Anders wrote a successful fantasy novel as well?
Some critics went so far as to call them "modern Tolkien".
Dad Joked by a Thomas Jefferson Impersonator at Work Today
Would this be considered a dad joke or an 18/19th century dad joke? Either way, I just about walked out the building after reading this.
ME:
Hi Tom,
Thank you for taking the time to speak with me today and if there is anything we can do in the future, please don't hesitate to ask.
I was hoping you would be able to leave a Yelp review for other potential clients to see. I know that we will not be working together anymore, but we would really appreciate the feedback.
Thomas Jefferson:
Matt,
Happy to offer you an encomium, however, I know of no connection between hounds striking the line of scent on a fox and complimenting a business enterprise of the 21st century.
I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson… He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”
I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson…
He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”
I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson…
He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.”
I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”
I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson… He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”
I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson. He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.”
I replied, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”
I told my daughter she was named after Thomas Jefferson...
She said "Dad... my name is Scarlett."
"Yeah, I know. But you were named after Thomas Jefferson."
Thomas the tank engine is rarely late.
When I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson, he looked quizzically at me and said, “But your name is Brian...”
I exclaimed, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson!"
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