The results may shock you
It's a shocking place to find them
The results were pretty shocking.
He disco-nnected.
I was shocked!
When I asked him why he did that, he replied “You said I needed a creative outlet.”
They hold the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them
I just socket up
She puts it in the socket and expects the world to revolve around her.
I need to find a pug socket
Socket in the jaw
My friend got a static shock, and in the span of 5 minutes I rattled off these:
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Geez, that's shocking news.
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How are you current-ly feeling?
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Don't give me that look. I'm just trying to energize you.
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Looks like I gotta amp up my jokes.
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I'm gonna hit you with a battery of jokes until you laugh.
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Don't let your sense of humor be so static.
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This isn't a crime, you can't charge me with anything.
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Wire you so upset?
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Do you want me to plug the stream of jokes?
... and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.
'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.'
They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theater followed by drinks. They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.
After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'
'No,' she replies. 'You just happened to catch my eye.'
My friend asked this on her wall on facebook.
Anyone else suffering from electricity shortage?
Dad: Nope. That would be shocking! Or revolting.
Me: Ohmm...These puns are so ampty..needs to be more electrifying
Dad: OP, Watt??
Dad: The puns are the current thing.
Me: I hope nobody breaks the circuit of these puns.
Dad: Wire you worried about that? They'll just socket to ya!
Me: This is such a Polarity moment. Say Cheese, Brofs SPARK
Dad: Don't be negative. Try alternating. It's not terminal.
Me: You have bested me, You win. #dadjokes too good
The Dad is strong, too strong.
As you may know, after you get a tooth pulled, you can't drink from a straw, or do anything that causes a suction effect, else you may get dry socket.
I told my wife that she should call her boss and say this will be her most productive week... because she's not allowed to suck at anything.........
Everyone but my wife laughed.
My sister was talking about the cheap sun dresses at Wet Seal, and he quips, "or you could try their sister store, Dry Socket"
Of course I said a wall socket.
So a group of guys come into the shop, in various costumes. One of them is wearing a dressing gown and holding a fork and disconnected plug socket thingy.
I asked him what he was, and he said he was a child that stuck a fork in an electrical socket. He was annoyed that nobody could guess it, so I replied:
"I know, it must've been pretty shocking for you."
My colleague sent me to stock out after that.
