A list of puns related to "StumbleUpon"
A while ago i stumbled upon this 4in1 pun:
It's a TV show featuring a motorcycle gang full of bisexual royal norsemen called Bikings
Mighty redditors can you help me to find more of this kind of multi puns?
Their car breaks down next to a corn field and they decide to run through it as the law is quickly approaching. They stumble upon a barn. Inside they find three burlap sacks and one of them suggests they should each hide inside one. Shortly after, the sherriff and his deputies arrive at the barn. They notice the three sacks. The sheriff kicks the first one containing the brunette and she says "Meow, meow." "Oh it's just a sack of kittens." One of the deputies says. The sherriff kicks the sack where the redhead is hiding and she says "woof, woof." "That's just a sack of puppies" they say. The sherriff kicks the third sack with the blonde inside and she exclaims "Potato, potato."
All offenses aside, Iโm originally from Britain and we make fun of the Irish ALL the time.
So an Irishman stumbles upon a genieโs lamp and says to himself โooh laddy what have we found here? I tink Iโll give it a rub to see if a genie appears!โ
So he does, and lo, a puff of blue smoke comes pouring out of the spout, billows into the air and the genieโs form becomes solid. It speaks, โOh master of the lamp, I am your genie and I grant you three wishes.โ
The Irishmanโs eyes are wide open with glee, his cheeks and nose red with fire, he shouts โtree wishes?! Thatโs just brilliant!โ For me first wish, Iโll have a bottle of whiskey that never runs dry.โ
The genie, eyes rolling, clicks his fingers and POOF a nice big bottle of whiskey appears before the Irishman. โWell I tink weโll have to put this to the test!โ He snatches up the bottle, takes a long healthy swig, glug glug glug, and the bottle pops as he releases it from his lips, โAhhhhhhhh!!!โ And to his amazement as soon as the liquid in the bottle settled, it gave a large burping โbulp!โ, released a large bubble, and when the bubble popped the bottle was full again. โWELL IโLL BE! THATโS THE MOST INCREDIBLE TING!โ
The genie, steadfastly unimpressed, reminded the Irishman โMaster, I will bring you fortune, splendor, reputation, treasures beyond any imagination. You have two wishes remaining. What would master want for a wish?โ
The Irishman looks to the genie and says โoh tatโs easy! Iโll have two more of these!โ
It took him three days to make it to the closest town. To his dismay, nobody in that town had a horse for sale. So he started walking to the next town. After three days the man, exhausted, started asking around and looking for a horse for sale.Again, nobody could help him.He did,however,stumbled upon a place that sold horses but the man in charge was fresh out.
"Sold my last one just yesterday,"he said."I do, however, have a brother that sells horses. He's about a day's walk west.He owns a corral. He might have a horse to sell you."
So, once again, he sets foot West to the next town and finds the mans brother.
"I heard you might have a horse for sale, he asks."
"Well, I have one, but he don't look so good."he replies.
"I don't care. I've been walking for darn near a week and I'm tired and exhausted. I'll take him."
So after the man pays for the horse, he hops on him takes off and the horse hits a tree and stops.
"Hey,"the man says." I think you sold me a blind horse.Fact is, I'm sure of it!"
"Sir, I told you he don't look so good."the man fires back.
They stumble upon a humanoid cement figure.
Officer 1: "Sir, we've found all the evidence we need to prove that this is the murderer's house."
Officer 2: "Why would anyone believe that this is evidence?"
Officer 1: "It's concrete."
MAN LAWS
The International Rules of Manhood
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding
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