Hard to keep Track of stuff
I'm on the fence about the COVID-19 vaccine, but the free stuff you can get for showing your vaccination card looks really nice.
I guess it's worth a shot.
My dog chewed up a bunch of stuff yesterday. Now he’s feeling gnawseous
I finished reading Bon Jovi’s biography and had the wonderful chance to ask him if he actually did the stuff in his biography.
He just shrugged and said it’s my life
Ny wife's got so fat, that I've had to keep all the fattening stuff at a place she can't reach....
I keep all the stuff Santa gives me when I've been naughty.
There's way more cool stuff
I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing stuff from his highway maintenance job.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
If you don't want to share stuff with others...
... just say ''Are we communists or what?''
That's it !!! I'm boycotting any store that sells stuff....
Oman! You’re about to read some terrible stuff.
“I live in Spain without the ‘s’”.
This inspired me to come up with some truly terrible country-related jokes.
It’s about to Bahrain jokes without the “Bah”.
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I have a double China without the “a”.
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Some people have told me that I look a lot like a German without the “an”.
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Oman, I think that one conspiracy about Israel Israel.
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You all probably want to hit me with Japan without the “J”.
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You probably can’t Kuwait to stop reading these without the “Ku”.
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Nowadays, car companies are focusing on making electric cars, but I Madagascar.
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As you’ve probably guessed, I don’t even have one Nepal without the “Ne”.
All of these bad jokes made me Hungary so Iran to the nearest shop to get some food.
Why am I always India-r need of food?
I sincerely apologise, fellow people. These jokes probably left a painful Denmark on your souls without the “Den”, of course.
My friend told me, "Did you know trees drop edible stuff, that aren't fruit?"
"That's nuts." I replied.
While I was gardening a potato was watching me and criticizing my every move. He thought he was big stuff.
But I think he was just a commontater
I ordered some stuff online yesterday and I used my Donor Card instead of my Debit Card.
Cost me an arm and a leg.
Not mine just wanted to share some funny stuff
Technically, they both have some spiky stuff
On reflection, there's a lot of stuff I'd like to have done differently this past year.
But hey, hindsight is 2020
Where do the sith buy their stuff
What does a pirate do when he wants to sell all his stuff?
My wife is on a tropical fruit diet, the house is full of stuff
It is enough to make a mango crazy
You know, I’m really getting into all this stuff going on about Moderna, Pfizer, BioNTech and AstraZeneca...
I find it absolutely vaccinating
Wow. Today in med school I found out bad stuff is generated by one's hips...
Which stuff should you not touch in the forest?
A thief broke into a guy's house, stole his stuff, killed the man, and turned him into a large cup…
I recently hired a guy to fill some stuff in for me
Filler filler filler filler filler filler
I was checking out at the grocery store today and the bagger was holding my stuff over the shopping cart and asked: “sir, would you like to go out with the cart?”. To which I replied “oh, no thanks I’m actually married”. My poor son looked mortified. Dad joke status ACHIEVED.
What’s the hard stuff that develops on cows’ teeth?
I have an addiction to reading pop-up books, so I went to the library the other day to pick up some proper grown up books to look at. I have to admit there was some good stuff there, ...
... but unfortunately nothing that jumped out at me.
Making money selling stuff online is easy.
I just sold my homing pigeon for the 15th time!
I was helping my wife carry the grocery bags inside the house. All of the sudden she gets mad at me and says to carry more stuff.
I mean I would carry more but my hands were tide.
I often hide my personal stuff in an electric socket
It's a shocking place to find them
I use Ironman sounds in my phones event calander for important stuff.
There was a locked metal box at an auction. The auctioneer said it was from the 1920’s and owned by really wealthy man. There could’ve been some really valuable stuff in it or it could just be empty. I didn’t want to bid anymore than $100 on it.
I thought it was a safe bet.
Had to remove a load of German names and stuff from my pre-owned iPhone..
What do you call a wolf that has stuff figured out
You gotta be careful getting into tennis, they have you buy a bunch of extra stuff you don’t need...
My wife said, “Why did you forget to get all the stuff from the grocery store that I wrote down?”
I said, “When I got there, I felt.....listless.”
My anatomy class is covering the nervous system and I don't get any of this stuff.
My friend created an artificial heart from stuff he got from a mine and an old pistol...
The heart is a vital ore-gun.
Wife told me to say something if I stopped to look at stuff while shopping.
“Something!”, I yelled at her.
Warning: use at your own risk. I was smacked with a flip flop.
What do you call when a boat is forced to do stuff by other boats?
My sister-in-law's grandfather used to tell stories of how he used to drill holes in stuff for a living...
So I saw a group of people crossing the street tonight carrying ski stuff the one guy in the front of the group was tasked with carrying the ski poles...
So I guess you can say that they put him in pole position
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
My girlfriend started an all fruit diet yesterday, the house is FULL of the stuff.
Its enough to make a mango crazy!
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