Met a beautiful girl over Spring Break in Mexico, but she constantly talked about the end of the world.

She had Acapulco-lips.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
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After all my travel in 2020 was cancelled, I'm now facing the COVID reality that my Spring Break trip is not going to happen either. I just told my suitcases this sad fact...

...and now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Spring break
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geck02004
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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Spring break
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πŸ‘€︎ u/a-frying-pan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.

The changing sea son.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doogdoogdoog123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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My dad told me this one when I got back home for spring break

Husband to wife: Am I the only one you’ve been with?

Wife: Yes, all the other have been 9s and 10s

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RezokAscending
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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What's the difference between Spring Break and Summer Break?

Jumping on the bed won't make a Summer Break

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfiemann
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
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Just heard this one from the guy behind me talking about going to Sea World for spring break...

Son: Hey I want to go to Sea World!

Dad: Okay lets go!

He walks out with his son to the backyard.

Son: What are we doing here?

Dad: Look you can see the world from right here!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGreatFez
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2015
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Friend's dad dadjoked me on spring break

Did you hear that new middle eastern song they're playing on the radio?

What a Baghdad had

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaBear
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2015
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The card game

A few years ago, was playing a card game with my frisbee team. We were competing in a frisbee tournament for spring break, and we had discs lying all around the Airbnb we were sleeping in. After playing the first few hands, I realized I didn't know what to do with my old cards.

I asked my teammate where I should put my used up cards. They pointed to some cards lying in a frisbee.

It was a disc card, discard pile.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phaesporic
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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As my 17yo son is telling me about his new girlfriend, whose name is Autumn...

I said 'be careful, she might leave you.'

He did not get it at first, so I had to repeat myself a couple of times...but I would have done that anyway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drumlin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2015
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There was once a priest who went to see the world after taking his oath....

After many years of wandering, he finally arrived in a small village in the middle of nowhere. The people there believed in the same religion as he did, but they had no church; they had to go to the nearest one which was in a small town 25 km's from there. The priest took the initiative, asked the Church for support, and with the help of the local men they built their own temple. From there on, he was celebrating the Sunday masses, joining together men and women in Holy Matrimony, and saying prayers at the funerals.

Many years passed by like that.

At the end of an ordinary mass, in early spring, on a chilly Sunday morning he was just guiding the people out of the church, was about to close the gates when an unknown man stepped into the churchyard.

With his dirty and torn clothes, he stood before the priest and said:

  • Priest, please be good and give me half a lemon! - the priest was a good man, and even though he thought the request was a bit strange, he went back to the rectory, took out a lemon, cut it in half, took it back to the man and gave it to him, who looked back to the priest with gratitude. However, the priest was curious. He asked:

  • Son, why do you need this half of a lemon? - with a fright on his face, and before the priest could have said a thing, he rushed out of the churchyard gate and took off.

A week later, around the same time, when the priest was leaving the church, he found himself in front of the same man in the churchyard. The man said:

  • Priest, please be good and give me half a lemon! - the priest was surprised by the appearance of the man and his strange request. Of course he was good, went back to the rectory, and brought the half lemon. Placed it in the stranger’s hand and immediately he asked:

  • Here it is, my dear son, but please tell me why do you need this half a lemon? - the man was obviously frightened and immediately ran away but the priest was not sluggish either and ran after him. He wasn’t in a very good condition, he has never run so much and so fast before so he was out of breath by the end of the village, almost fainted. He thought the strange man might appear again next week, and it would be nice if he could keep up with him, so he spent his week working on his cardio. It turned out to be a good idea, because as he thought, the stranger entered the churchyard on Sunday. The priest didn’t even wait for the request, he was good, and brought the half lemon. He received these words from the man:

  • Thank you

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doty152
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2018
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Read-It

My dad picked me up from school for spring break. We were talking about politics and such, and when the conversation died a bit, I hopped on my phone. He asked what I was doing, and I said browsing Reddit. He responded:

Why are you on Reddit if you already read it?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/N8_Blueberry
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2018
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Students from abroad...

My dad and I were talking about students going home for spring break, and how if you were from abroad it would be more difficult. Suddenly, his face lit up and he turned to me and said, "Technically, ALL students are from... a broad" and then cracked up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/allsymbols
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2014
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So there was a liquor store on the way home and my dad capitalized on its title...

My parents and I were on our way home for spring break when my dad noticed a liquor store called "The Wine Spot." He pulled into the parking lot and started complaining "I'M TIRED, MY FEET HURT, I DON'T WANT TO DRIVE HOME" and pulled right back out. I didn't get it at first but my mom did and then I quickly followed and just lost it. Best dad joke he's done so far :')

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Farkuson
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2015
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Grocery shopping, spring loaded

So I happen to be grocery shopping along with my dad in a Target store. Not much to pick up but two of the items we needed were thyme and milk. They happen to be within a few feet of each other in the same cooled location. We both see the thyme first, but I am the one who happens to grab it. I reach for the first one in a long line of cases of thyme and something must have happened where it was too tightly loaded in the spring rack so that when I grabbed the one, the spring shot and about five more flung out, some landing on the floor, some breaking open on the shelves. I see the mess made and, admittedly selfishly, said "Not my problem" and walked over the get the milk (2% organic for context). I grab the milk and walk back over to see my dad picking up the mess. I walk closer. I look at him, he looks at me and he ignites the funny bomb that was rummaging through his brain for the last 20 second waiting for me to arrive:

"Well, now you know how thyme flies."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaychuck_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2016
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Dadjoked by my aunt (who is my dad's sister, runs in the family)

Grandma: Do you like Hummus? Aunt Kim: I love Hummus....and I sometimes like to singus!

Spent Spring Break with them, this was all I heard. :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Altessa
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2014
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Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.

The changing sea son.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doogdoogdoog123
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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Guess where i'm going for spring break?

to sleep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Devin_907
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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