Punstoppable

Spies Puns

A list of puns related to "Spies"

Why do spies keep working even when they're asleep ?

Cos they're undercover.

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👤︎ u/marvel_fanboy_4ever
📅︎ Jun 22 2020
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My spy boyfriend had a punch machine accident.

holey -Moley...

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👤︎ u/not_flexy
📅︎ Aug 08 2020
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Did you here about the Italian spy...

He was such an impasta

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👤︎ u/ASHER999999
📅︎ May 07 2020
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It was fun being a spy til they put me in a windy city with only a blanket for camouflage

My cover was blown constantly

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👤︎ u/zsm1994
📅︎ Jun 17 2020
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A spy walks into a science lab. When asked who he is, he says “The name’s bond...

“Hydrogen Bond.”

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👤︎ u/_-SLAYER
📅︎ Jun 09 2020
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A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.

I guess you could say they perform... thespionage

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👤︎ u/StrangeQuark32
📅︎ May 24 2020
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Apparently they are still searching for the spy plane that was shot down over the former Soviet Union in 1960.

They still haven’t found what they’re looking for.

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👤︎ u/Konamicoder
📅︎ Mar 27 2020
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I ran into actor Matt Damon and told him I loved his recent spy thriller film. He got real mad and said:

I wasn’t Bourne yesterday, you know.

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👤︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
📅︎ Mar 27 2020
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With everyone quarantined and staying inside, there is no one out to spy on or follow around...

The stalk market is very weak.

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👤︎ u/usernamecheckmates
📅︎ Mar 18 2020
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How many spies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
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👤︎ u/ajjanialthor
📅︎ Jan 16 2020
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Why did the spy cross the road?

He didn't. He was never really on your side.

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👤︎ u/Radish00
📅︎ Nov 21 2019
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What type of shoes do spies wear?

Sneakers

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👤︎ u/Warenvoid
📅︎ Nov 15 2019
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What do you call an actor who's a spy?

Thespianage!

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👤︎ u/anotherlame
📅︎ Oct 03 2019
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A japanese spy is a ninja. What do you call a chinese spy?

A tourist.

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👤︎ u/GabyHer4
📅︎ Oct 03 2019
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What do you call a gay female spy?

Lesbionage

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👤︎ u/Gl1tchy1
📅︎ Sep 20 2019
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The New Irish spy company

S. P. O'Nage

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👤︎ u/SquishedGremlin
📅︎ Oct 30 2019
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I think potatoes might be super spies in disguise.

They have eyes everywhere

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👤︎ u/sum1said
📅︎ Sep 23 2019
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Why do ducks make lousy spies?

They always quack under interrogation.

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👤︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
📅︎ Jul 17 2019
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What's Canadas spy organization called?

CIEh?

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👤︎ u/IntestineYarnball
📅︎ May 01 2019
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Spy Doggo
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👤︎ u/Big_Joosh
📅︎ Jan 05 2019
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What's another term for a Chinese Spy?

Peking Tom

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👤︎ u/RCRadioCarbon
📅︎ Jun 19 2019
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Whenever I spy on my neighbour over the fence, I always stand on a box of fish fingers

just to get a Birdseye view.

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👤︎ u/ElMel77
📅︎ May 27 2019
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Did you hear about the super spy who was really into 50's era slang?

He's incogneato.

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👤︎ u/crazyeyedmcgee
📅︎ Apr 11 2019
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What is it called when two spies hug?

A bonding moment.

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👤︎ u/Nocturtle_Boi
📅︎ Mar 09 2019
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Did you hear about the bedbug spy?

He was undercover.

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👤︎ u/Natch42
📅︎ Feb 11 2019
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How do spies send secret messages in the forest?

Moss code

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👤︎ u/Gl3nnsth3man
📅︎ Feb 11 2019
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What do British spies use to prevent athlete's foot?

Bond. Gold Bond.

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👤︎ u/dgrubbnasty
📅︎ Jul 24 2018
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I spy with my little eye, something grey...

Apparently my son is the ultimate dad joker, as his instant reply was my hair. Much to the amusement of his mother and brother. For me the game was over and done with... 😂

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👤︎ u/b8410
📅︎ Jul 08 2018
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The Bad Spy

During World War 2, a spy working for the East, and a spy working for Great Britain infiltrated Nazi Germany.

Their mission, eliminating a Schutzstaffel officer.

They succeeded, and the british infiltrator taunted his target afterwards

However, his comrade in arms then punched him in the face.

Why ?

>!He had said "You SS are stupid."!<

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👤︎ u/Arklaw
📅︎ May 28 2018
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Did you hear about the underwater spy?

His name was James Pond.

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👤︎ u/TGP2005
📅︎ Aug 04 2018
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In what part of a hospital do they spy on patients?

In the I.C.U.!

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👤︎ u/ShyConcession
📅︎ Jan 24 2018
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How do you know that the spaghetti is a spy?

It's an impasta

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👤︎ u/ChrisTheCoolBean
📅︎ Apr 04 2018
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What allergy ridden English author wrote novels about a British spy?

Ian Phlegming

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👤︎ u/DinglebarryHandpump
📅︎ Feb 25 2018
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Why did the russian spy hate the FBI agent?

He kept bugging him.

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👤︎ u/Karpish_the_smol
📅︎ Sep 20 2017
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The Queen knighted British electrons to spy on ordinary citizens

Truly, the Brits are living in a modern day Sir Valence state.

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👤︎ u/zamoose
📅︎ Jul 26 2017
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Ever heard of the top secret group of whales that were spies?

If I were to tell you I'd have to krill you.

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👤︎ u/kamikazepirates
📅︎ Oct 25 2017
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The guy who came up with the "I Spy with my little Eye..." Game was shot 3 times and taken to the hospital.

They had to put him in the Icu.

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👤︎ u/manlyusername
📅︎ Jan 03 2017
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Which Eeveelution is a French spy?

Espeon.

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👤︎ u/IanGecko
📅︎ Jan 05 2015
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What do you call a snooping salsa that spies on men?

peak-o de guy-o

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👤︎ u/hornwalker
📅︎ Sep 26 2015
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Watching Spies Like Us with my GF last night

We were watching the movie and she says "this movie isn't going anywhere", and I sit for a moment before replying, "yeah, 80's comedies were mostly a string of gags" pause for dramatic effect, "coincidentally, so were 80's pornos!"

I proceed to laugh at that for 2 minutes while she roles to her side and ignores me.

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👤︎ u/climber_g33k
📅︎ Sep 09 2016
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How do spies send secret messages in the forest?

By moss code.

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👤︎ u/_mono_no_aware
📅︎ Feb 11 2019
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