You just say to your family member - "Did you hear someone in the family is part owl?"
They'll reply with "who?" And you look at them with a raised eyebrow.
Tell this joke over dinner if youd like to be the life of the party. You're welcome.
I told: mom that why I am using a chair.
Trans-parent
I would name it hooman, so people could ask are we hooman or are we denser?
A rad-ish
'Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!' She was watching our wedding video again."
Beer nuts are just over five dollars, deer nuts are only under a buck.
Not to worry, only Minor Miner Injuries
…have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."
The plot was predictable, and the special f(x) was terrible.
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
Technically our cannon "shoots eats and leaves".
(As in the oxford comma panda assassin... that "eats, shoots, and leaves")
Anyway I've waited years for someone to appreciate this .... and it has never happened so far. I hope you are slightly amused....
Planck, but not by much.
At least I was still able to make a slight prophet.
Until I noticed, it was slightly ajar.
As he picked up his hammer and saw.
Near Mint Condition!!!
It’s a different kettle of fish altogether.
Bud Lite
I might get a bit carried away.
Eileen
you get a Jar Jar in an Ajar Jar.
A Labracadabrador
Seated at the bar is an elderly lady, mid eighties.
The gentleman walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"
A Rad-ish
It's called bye-lingual.
Eileen
no one got their lemonade and the cake was ruined
So I packed my stuff and right.
They were more popular when they first came out.
She was watching our wedding video again.
She is watching our wedding video again.
She was watching our wedding video again.
…have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."
…have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."
She was watching our wedding video again
rad-ish
