Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hatlesshobo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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Why the Poland glasses are so fragile?

Polished, yeah haha, funny very it is.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/4K_Jay
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin.

I told him I’d gourd it with my life.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/torchskul
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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My wife turned to me and said, all life is like hope. It's precious, a gift. It flourishes in the desert, in the snow, even in the Marianas Trench, 10,000 meters below the waves. Life and hope exist where we least expect it, yet it is so fragile it can be destroyed in a moment.

I said, "That's deep"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VerySmallEel
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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What do you call a wizard that walks everywhere barefoot, has poor bone density, and bad breath ?

Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/son-of-CRABS
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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Gandhi

Gandhi, by the time he died, he was a very thin and elderly man who had walked almost everywhere he went barefoot causing thick pads on the bottom of his feet. He was also an extremely wise man who many considered a seer, and he ate ethnic Indian cuisine causing bad breath........Turns out he was a super fragile calloused mystic hexed by halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aw8nf8
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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So Gandhi fasted every day. His body got weaker and weaker. His feet grew incredibly tough from walking barefoot. He was deep into Hindu spirituality. Unfortunately, he had chronic bad breath.

I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that Gandhi was a super fragile, calloused mystic suffering from halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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So, Gandhi, right?

On average, this guy walked 11+ miles per day for 40 years. WITHOUT SHOES.

Dude fasted frequently, too, so he didn't get a lot of the nutrients that most people get on a daily basis and presumably had bad breath.

That being said, Gandhi was...

A SUPER CALLOUSED FRAGILE MYSTIC HEXED WITH HALITOSIS.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hey_HoofHearted
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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There was an old hermit who lived in a cave and walked a lot, but didn't have shoes. He also didn't have the greatest health and had really bad breath. They called him the:

Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Plagued with Halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/l8rry394
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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Did you hear that Julie Andrews will no longer be supporting cheap lipstick? It crumbles easily and makes her breath smell.

In a quote she said "The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yougotyolks
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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Ghandi spent a lot of time walking through the desert, so his feet hurt and he was always thirsty and weak. It's also very hard to brush your teeth in the desert.

He was a super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JEJoll
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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Mary Pill Poppins Pharmaceutical just created a miracle drug that can cure any human of any disease. It's effectiveness is renowned while it's side effects are surprisingly minimal: thick layer of skin develops on the lips while rendering them dry, cracked and quite odorous.

Patients effected by this claim it's super callused fragile lips that smell like halitosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ramzert
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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My magnum opus. Even though the Photoshop skills are something quite atrocious. (Pic)

http://imgur.com/p8zGyin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeywithanr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2016
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Did you know that Gandhi never wore shoes? And due to his fasting he was very weak and had awful breath?

He was a super-fragile-calloused-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uchi_mata18
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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Gandhi is well known for his spiritual guidance, ascribe mystical powers to him...

We know he frequently fasted which made him somewhat frail and caused bad breath. We also know that he often went without shoes, making the souls of his feet very tough.

This made him a... Super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

(I’ll see myself out)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aisored224
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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I have a bit of bad news to share about Gandhi.

You know he fasted a lot, which made him skinny and frail. He also walked barefoot for most of his life. Spent a lot of time pondering life's imponderable mysteries. Oh, and they say he had bad breath. In other words, I guess Gandhi was a super-fragile calloused mystic suffering halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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Julie Andrews will not endorse that popular vibrant shade of lipstick. She says it breaks too easily and gives her bad breath. Her official statement on this........

The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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My Thanksgiving Confession

Hey guys. As I'm sure most of you know, it's currently Thanksgiving in Canada. This time of year for me has, in the past, caused a lot of issues in my life.

To give a little bit of background on me, I'm usually an extremely healthy and fit guy, as I play high-level sports and have a physically demanding job. However, for much of my life, my willpower began to crumble around this time of year.

I first started taking my diet seriously when I was about 12 years old. I had some kind of realization where like, I dunno, I started looking at how jacked these movie stars were and was all, "wow, I want to be that cool too." Judging by the bowl cut I had when I was 12, my perception of cool may have been a little skewed, but I digress.

Anyhow, it was my first Thanksgiving where everything started falling apart. One of my relative's families ended up no-showing for dinner, so we were left with a load of Thanksgiving leftovers. For the next week, every single meal or snack I had was Thanksgiving themed. Sandwich? Turkey sandwich. Breakfast? Let's dollop some cranberry sauce on that bad boy. By the next week, my BGC (blood gravy content) was probably at like 1.0%.

You'd think I'd be sick of holiday food after that. But no. I loved it.

The tradition of refrigerated Thanksgiving snacks continued throughout the rest of my teen years. Like clockwork, the numbers on the scale would significantly jump upwards in October, with Halloween candy adding an extra layer of calories on top. By the time I reached 17, my waist had begun noticeably ballooning, and I realized it was all due to Thanksgiving turkey. Sure, I had some at Christmas and sometimes at Easter, but never like that. My mother would encourage this habit, making more food each year to be stuffed into our packed refrigerator.

The movie star bod I wanted for so much at the age of 12 was slipping a way. I needed to put an end to this.

Flash forward to October 2015, age 18. I had made a vow: I never again would place such putrid poultry onto my tastebuds. And ever since that fateful week of 2014, my vow had held true.

Each Thanksgiving, I can feel that craving for chilled turkey knocking on the refrigerator door of my fragile ego. For three years, I've held strong. But when will the garrison fall? When will that soft, biting flesh of the big bird smash it's way back into my life.

But so far, I've quit cold turkey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/M3gaC00l
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
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Girls...

Girlfriends are so fragile these days, because they ... Break up with you.

-Dad, nov. 2017

Thanks Dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NusstorteBlitz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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My family visited a rude psychic, with degenerative bone disease, who insisted all of us had bad breath....

She was a super callous fragile mystic expecting halitosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skarkroe
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
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One of my favorite Colin Mochrie puns

"Our main story tonight is about a 100 year old woman who says her secret to old age is walking around barefoot and never brushing her teeth. More news on this super calloused fragile mistress hexed with halitosis after the break."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoctorNoname98
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2014
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John the Baptist

John the Baptist of Biblical fame used to walk through the desert in his bare feet. This left his feet tough, which is understandable- the hot sand and rough terrain would leave anyone's feet tough. He was known to receive signs from God and occasionally perform mystical feats. He subsisted on a diet of locusts and honey. Without access to dental hygiene at the time, this left him with somewhat bad breath. It also left him frail, as the diet wasn't varied and would have required an immense intake of food to be remotely sustained.

I guess that you could say that he was a super-callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/edpeters1
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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Gandhi walked the desert with no shoes, no food, and no tooth brush, my friend had the nerve to say.

I guess he was a super-calloused-fragile-mystic-fraught-with-halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SvmaHaus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
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Why is the delivery service called UPS?

It's the sound they make when they drop your fragile package.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NobodyWhatsoever
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2018
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Gandhi

I heard Gandhi often went shoeless, so his feet were very tough. He was a vegetarian, so he had a thin build. Lastly, he fasted often, which has a tendency to cause bad breath.

All of those factors combined made him a super calloused, fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flooberjibby
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2015
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We were in the Baltimore Aquarium.

There is a room dedicated to sea anemones, a big space with low light coming from these glass tanks full of beautiful, fragile creatures. My son and I stood admiring them for a moment, and I commented, "Well, at least they'll never be lonely here."

"Why is that, Dad?"

"With anemones like these, who needs friends?"

A loud universal groan went up and I hastily retreated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oldforger
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2015
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So my friend broke his mouse earlier today...

His Dad: "Huh. Mice are too fragile. I should've gotten a rat instead."

Friend: ... Friend's Mother: ... Me: ...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Valeainz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2016
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To dark?

We were at a hotel, and my wife told the kids to stay away from the fragile windows, or else they could fall down. (We were in the 3rd floor) "We can't afford to lose any of you" she said.

To wich I replied: "With the funerals and all"

I think that was when she startet to hate me..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nob123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2016
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Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis (edited, thanks kind friends for the correction!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/banditk77
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SamuraiSAM5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: Wow! Didn't expect this big reaction! Thanks for the silver! Edit 2: And gold!? Thanks again! :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/auroraborora
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrunkRedditBot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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Gandhi was amazingβ€”fasted every other day, walked barefoot, deep thinker...with bad breath.

it’s true. he was a super-fragile calloused mystic suffering halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a...

Super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2018
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Because Ghandi was barefoot all the time and had bad hygiene...

He was a super calloused fragile mystic plagued by halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2017
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