Got a new job as a priest in a stable near Johannesburg...
I bless the reins down in Africa...
π︎ 12
π
︎ Apr 01 2021
My lazy friend got a job at a stable...
Now he can REALLY horse around.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 24 2021
If I had a Stable, I would be careful about my horses after sunset. If one of them escaped after sunset,
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 24 2021
A man goes into a pet store to buy a puppy to keep his horses company in their stable.
"What's the best breed for horses like those you'd see in the old west movies," he asks the owner, "my mares are just like that." The owner thinks for a minute, then replies "Dachshund."
The man is surprised, and replies "are you sure about that? I was picturing something bigger that wouldn't get trampled on." The owner nods, and says "Yup, it's just like the movies - if you want your horses to behave, you get a long little doggie."
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 20 2021
Why was Jesus born in a stable?
There was no womb in the inn.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
The most stable relationship I have is with my bed
Because it stands on four legs.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 26 2020
My daughter tells me that she wants to live in a nice house with her friends when they all have stable jobs.
I said, βWell sweetie, thatβs nice, but I just canβt see you and your friends shoveling manure for a living.β
To which she replied, βOh no? I thought you said that I could be president if I wanted to!β
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 18 2020
Why can't you pass a bill in the stables?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 23 2020
What do you call horses in a stable?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 03 2020
My horse ate all the bedding in the stable
π︎ 58
π
︎ May 04 2020
The... stables...
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Sep 15 2018
*gestures at horses* Here are the stables. *gestures at other flickering and shaking horses. One horse explodes* And here are the unstables
π︎ 435
π
︎ Sep 16 2019
The stables have turned
π︎ 88
π
︎ Sep 07 2019
What do you call 2 horses side by side in a stable?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 09 2020
What a stable relationship.
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jun 19 2019
Building a stable relationship is like building a stable bridge
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 08 2019
When you're in a stable relationship.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Mar 07 2019
Mentally stable...
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 17 2019
When someone says βHold your horsesβ, theyβre telling you to be stable.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Oct 11 2019
What do you call a financially stable clown?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 05 2019
My girlfriend, playing a farming game, said βI want my horse stable.β
I asked βWhy is he wobbling?β
π︎ 12
π
︎ Oct 21 2019
What kind of tree isnβt financially stable?
π︎ 32
π
︎ Jun 17 2019
Working in a barn is a stable career.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Mar 11 2019
Why is the refrigerator emotionally more stable ?
Because he is always chilling out
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 18 2019
The Queen was showing the Archbishop of Canterbury around the royal stable when one of the stallions close by farted so loudly it couldn't be ignored. "Oh dear," said the Queen, "I'm dreadfully sorry about that." "It's quite understandable," said the Archbishop,
and after a second, "For a moment there I thought it was the horse."
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 02 2019
They have a stable relationship
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 24 2019
Why did the horse feel rejuvenated when it walked out of the stable?
Because it was colt outside
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 12 2018
Went to a stables looking for work and the stable master asked "Have you ever shoed a horse?"
"No, but I told a donkey to fuck off once."
π︎ 49
π
︎ Oct 24 2018
Wife and kids were heading to the local stable
They were going to help unload hay bales that are delivered there once a month. As she was backing out of the garage, I waved goodbye and yelled, "Tell everyone I said hay!"
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 16 2019
I really want to work and be financially stable
But I guess that if that doesnβt work Iβll just sell the horses
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 05 2019
Girlfriend and I were arguing. She exclaimed "why can't I have a stable relationship!?β
I replied that "you should probably get a horse."
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 12 2018
Horse vets have a stable customer base.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 10 2018
Years ago, I was sent to a large stable to fetch the horse belonging to The Artist Formerly Known As Prince. I immediately knew which one it was...
π︎ 14
π
︎ Mar 17 2018
My dad is the most dad jokingest person on earth. This morning he had a heart attack. He's stable and was making dad jokes all the way to the hospital. I need your best of the best jokes for me to tell him when he gets out of surgery.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jul 13 2016
I don't think I'll ever find a stable job...
...because honestly I'm just not very comfortable around horses
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jul 03 2016
Dad: If you want to be in a stable relationship...
π︎ 60
π
︎ Sep 08 2013
Why does no bill get passed in the stable?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 20 2015
Talking about the new construction over the west side railyard in manhattan. Me: Do you think it'll be stable?
Dad: I dunno, are there gonna be any horses in it?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 12 2015
What makes for a stable marriage?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 11 2014
My relationship isn't stable.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
Stable relationships...
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 04 2017
I don't think I'll ever find a stable job
Honestly I just don't feel comfortable around horses.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 16 2016
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
