How come they call a place where horses are kept a "stable"…
And not a neigh-bourhood?
What did the farmer’s wife say to him after he hotboxed the stable?
Got a new job as a priest in a stable near Johannesburg...
I bless the reins down in Africa...
My lazy friend got a job at a stable...
Now he can REALLY horse around.
If I had a Stable, I would be careful about my horses after sunset. If one of them escaped after sunset,
A man goes into a pet store to buy a puppy to keep his horses company in their stable.
"What's the best breed for horses like those you'd see in the old west movies," he asks the owner, "my mares are just like that." The owner thinks for a minute, then replies "Dachshund."
The man is surprised, and replies "are you sure about that? I was picturing something bigger that wouldn't get trampled on." The owner nods, and says "Yup, it's just like the movies - if you want your horses to behave, you get a long little doggie."
Why was Jesus born in a stable?
There was no womb in the inn.
The most stable relationship I have is with my bed
Because it stands on four legs.
My daughter tells me that she wants to live in a nice house with her friends when they all have stable jobs.
I said, “Well sweetie, that’s nice, but I just can’t see you and your friends shoveling manure for a living.”
To which she replied, “Oh no? I thought you said that I could be president if I wanted to!”
Why can't you pass a bill in the stables?
My horse ate all the bedding in the stable
*gestures at horses* Here are the stables. *gestures at other flickering and shaking horses. One horse explodes* And here are the unstables
What do you call 2 horses side by side in a stable?
What a stable relationship.
When you're in a stable relationship.
Building a stable relationship is like building a stable bridge
When someone says “Hold your horses”, they’re telling you to be stable.
My girlfriend, playing a farming game, said “I want my horse stable.”
I asked “Why is he wobbling?”
What do you call a financially stable clown?
What kind of tree isn’t financially stable?
Working in a barn is a stable career.
Why is the refrigerator emotionally more stable ?
Because he is always chilling out
They have a stable relationship
The Queen was showing the Archbishop of Canterbury around the royal stable when one of the stallions close by farted so loudly it couldn't be ignored. "Oh dear," said the Queen, "I'm dreadfully sorry about that." "It's quite understandable," said the Archbishop,
and after a second, "For a moment there I thought it was the horse."
Went to a stables looking for work and the stable master asked "Have you ever shoed a horse?"
"No, but I told a donkey to fuck off once."
Why did the horse feel rejuvenated when it walked out of the stable?
Because it was colt outside
Wife and kids were heading to the local stable
They were going to help unload hay bales that are delivered there once a month. As she was backing out of the garage, I waved goodbye and yelled, "Tell everyone I said hay!"
I really want to work and be financially stable
But I guess that if that doesn’t work I’ll just sell the horses
Girlfriend and I were arguing. She exclaimed "why can't I have a stable relationship!?”
I replied that "you should probably get a horse."
Horse vets have a stable customer base.
Years ago, I was sent to a large stable to fetch the horse belonging to The Artist Formerly Known As Prince. I immediately knew which one it was...
My dad is the most dad jokingest person on earth. This morning he had a heart attack. He's stable and was making dad jokes all the way to the hospital. I need your best of the best jokes for me to tell him when he gets out of surgery.
I don't think I'll ever find a stable job...
...because honestly I'm just not very comfortable around horses
Dad: If you want to be in a stable relationship...
Why does no bill get passed in the stable?
Talking about the new construction over the west side railyard in manhattan. Me: Do you think it'll be stable?
Dad: I dunno, are there gonna be any horses in it?
What makes for a stable marriage?
My relationship isn't stable.
I don't think I'll ever find a stable job
Honestly I just don't feel comfortable around horses.
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