How come they call a place where horses are kept a "stable"…

And not a neigh-bourhood?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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What did the farmer’s wife say to him after he hotboxed the stable?

Get off your high horse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jillyjoyohoho
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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Got a new job as a priest in a stable near Johannesburg...

I bless the reins down in Africa...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasthetanker
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
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My lazy friend got a job at a stable...

Now he can REALLY horse around.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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If I had a Stable, I would be careful about my horses after sunset. If one of them escaped after sunset,

It would be a nightmare.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kathegaara
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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A man goes into a pet store to buy a puppy to keep his horses company in their stable.

"What's the best breed for horses like those you'd see in the old west movies," he asks the owner, "my mares are just like that." The owner thinks for a minute, then replies "Dachshund."

The man is surprised, and replies "are you sure about that? I was picturing something bigger that wouldn't get trampled on." The owner nods, and says "Yup, it's just like the movies - if you want your horses to behave, you get a long little doggie."

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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Why was Jesus born in a stable?

There was no womb in the inn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/littleallred008
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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The most stable relationship I have is with my bed

Because it stands on four legs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScoutyHUN
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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My daughter tells me that she wants to live in a nice house with her friends when they all have stable jobs.

I said, β€œWell sweetie, that’s nice, but I just can’t see you and your friends shoveling manure for a living.”

To which she replied, β€œOh no? I thought you said that I could be president if I wanted to!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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Why can't you pass a bill in the stables?

Too many neighs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MakeMeADonut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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My horse ate all the bedding in the stable

That was the last straw

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DLF6
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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The... stables...
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
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*gestures at horses* Here are the stables. *gestures at other flickering and shaking horses. One horse explodes* And here are the unstables
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Larkenox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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The stables have turned
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlumbusUser101
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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What do you call 2 horses side by side in a stable?

Neigh-bours.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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What a stable relationship.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elawn
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
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When you're in a stable relationship.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CeQuemSabe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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Building a stable relationship is like building a stable bridge

It takes a lot of truss

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MajorTom314
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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Mentally stable...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Postyoumustnot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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When someone says β€œHold your horses”, they’re telling you to be stable.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danpowell1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
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My girlfriend, playing a farming game, said β€œI want my horse stable.”

I asked β€œWhy is he wobbling?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Super_Saiyan06
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
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What do you call a financially stable clown?

Pennywise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OneTrueGrizzly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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What kind of tree isn’t financially stable?

A burr oak

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BreezyVII
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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Working in a barn is a stable career.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SayItToMeSANTOS
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
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Why is the refrigerator emotionally more stable ?

Because he is always chilling out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danyk16
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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They have a stable relationship
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nirenyderp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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The Queen was showing the Archbishop of Canterbury around the royal stable when one of the stallions close by farted so loudly it couldn't be ignored. "Oh dear," said the Queen, "I'm dreadfully sorry about that." "It's quite understandable," said the Archbishop,

and after a second, "For a moment there I thought it was the horse."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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Went to a stables looking for work and the stable master asked "Have you ever shoed a horse?"

"No, but I told a donkey to fuck off once."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skubbags
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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Why did the horse feel rejuvenated when it walked out of the stable?

Because it was colt outside

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πŸ‘€︎ u/graafslaaf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2018
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Wife and kids were heading to the local stable

They were going to help unload hay bales that are delivered there once a month. As she was backing out of the garage, I waved goodbye and yelled, "Tell everyone I said hay!"

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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I really want to work and be financially stable

But I guess that if that doesn’t work I’ll just sell the horses

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ignavo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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Girlfriend and I were arguing. She exclaimed "why can't I have a stable relationship!?”

I replied that "you should probably get a horse."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/glitchNglide
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2018
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Horse vets have a stable customer base.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JukeboxSommelier
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
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Years ago, I was sent to a large stable to fetch the horse belonging to The Artist Formerly Known As Prince. I immediately knew which one it was...

It had a purple rein.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2018
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My dad is the most dad jokingest person on earth. This morning he had a heart attack. He's stable and was making dad jokes all the way to the hospital. I need your best of the best jokes for me to tell him when he gets out of surgery.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cowboykillers
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2016
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I don't think I'll ever find a stable job...

...because honestly I'm just not very comfortable around horses

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πŸ‘€︎ u/screen317
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2016
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Dad: If you want to be in a stable relationship...

Date a horse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jgratil
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2013
🚨︎ report
Why does no bill get passed in the stable?

All neighs and no ayes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lionel10messi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2015
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Talking about the new construction over the west side railyard in manhattan. Me: Do you think it'll be stable?

Dad: I dunno, are there gonna be any horses in it?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/identitycrisis1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2015
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What makes for a stable marriage?

Horsing around

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Graavy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2014
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My relationship isn't stable.

But my horses are.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phenicutie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Stable relationships...

...are for horses

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πŸ‘€︎ u/muffb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2017
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I don't think I'll ever find a stable job

Honestly I just don't feel comfortable around horses.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2016
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