What time of the day are you most productive?

Tomorrow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/executeorder66___
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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It's so hard to get numbers like 3, 9, and 17 to be productive.

They literally can't even

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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Blueberry bushes are one of the least productive plants.

All their effort bears little fruit.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/celbruk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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If being out of shape was a crime, a productive punishment would be to run on a treadmill.

It would be a run-on sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DudleyDoesMath
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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Saw another one of these and decided to be productive during bio...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/voodooking4400
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2018
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Why Did the Raisin Farmer Secure a $100k Loan to His Most Productive Raisin Grape Tree?

Because it was his "raisin debt tree" (use French accent).

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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My last trip to Ikea was very... productive. imgur.com/a/PO3FK
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scottonetwenty
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2017
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Why are dolphins considered the most productive animals?

Everything they do is done with porpoise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dan_the_Man0904
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2018
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I finally got funding for my dictionary based stage production, "Pun: A Play On Words"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tourdefranz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2016
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I just got a job on a production line making plastic Draculas

There's only two of us working there, so I have to make every second count.

πŸ‘︎ 120
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigdave41
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
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What do you call a factory that makes okay products?

A satisfactory

πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-CommunistDoggo-
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
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I was banned from /r/dadjokes for posting about my love of canned pork products

Something about rule 7

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πŸ‘€︎ u/red3biggs
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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When company uses a pun on their product, I’m sold.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDorkKnight53
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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A German meat packing plant had to switch from natural products to collagen skins for its sausages.

It was the wurst case scenario.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2021
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I was sick and tired of my wife forgetfully leaving her feminine hygiene products in the toilet, so I confronted her

She immediately flushed with embarrassment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
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A mattress salesman offered me a huge discount on a product out of my budget

I told him I’ll sleep on it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MF62SW
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Whats a Chef's favourite nicotine product?

A Cumin Cigar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarkReeses
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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I saw a pack of gummy worms that said β€œNo artificial flavor.”

Who buys gummy worms hoping they’d taste as close to real worms as possible?

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pllarsen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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My son grows a lot of fur and manufactures products of art or craft on nights when the moon is full...

He is a ware wolf!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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Pride and joy
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thehawkplays
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
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Seems the Weekend had compete creative control for the halftime special and brought in his own production team.

I guess Everybody's Working For the Weekend.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JBCrew614
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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Penny production with Abraham Lincoln’s face seems to be quite low this year.

It’s only one percent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cabbithunt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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People who sell meat and meat products may be disgusting to some people, but.....

People selling fruits and vegetables are definitely grocer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Artisticspawm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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What do you call 2 birds stuck together?

Velcrows.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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My son's science fair entry was a volcano made of a fat product from rendering the fatty tissue of a pig. My son's fat teacher waddled around everywhere when he set it off...

The lard ash was everywhere!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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Apple announced a new product for wives that helps cope with spontaneous dad jokes throughout their day.

The iRoll

Edit: thank you kind strangers for the awards! I told my wife we've struck gold and she immediately upgraded to the newest iRoll v2 software!!!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Use2HandsPlease
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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The wine makers have increased production

Apparently they are having a very grape day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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If Trump wins in 4 years he will halt all shredded cheese production.

He is going to make Americans grate again . . .

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fku208
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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Where are "Yes-men" and People Pleasers made?

The satisfactory

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did people loose so much money in derivative products and markets.

Because they had no option.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saswata1194
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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It's a punderful poem! reddit.com/gallery/n4h6vq
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doogbynnoj
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What paper product speaks really quickly?

Wrapping paper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Torque appropriated circumstances call for -in kind- repeat applied force when concerned with most of yer dried and salted pork products and jovial responses.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brutalproduct
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you seen the movie about production methods of boats, planes, and bridges in the 20th century?

I can't remember the name but it's riveting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joey_the_Duck
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
When someone sees you with Apple product.

iWitness.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amankhaan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend opened a tea store. He told me that every time he stocks the bottled tea products, they sell out within hours...

Business has been Brisk, baby!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I have an idea for a new product: a butter substitute mixed with an aphrodisiac.

I'm calling it Margarine of Eros.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pyranders
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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Ive invented a product that increases the size of your basement...

I hope it is a big cellar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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What do you call a Scandinavian who does eat animal products?

Norvegan!

Edit: doesn't, not does. I'm a donkey

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fred1840
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I like the idea of podiums

They're a product I can really get behind

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blindeye0505
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Why won't it work?!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raypeghost
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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A bit morbid but hilarious. This happened earlier today.

My son had never heard of the store β€œBuy Buy Baby” (an American chain of stores for products for babies, similar to β€œBabies R Us”). I can’t remember exactly why I brought it up, but I mentioned the store to my wife (I think we were reminiscing on shopping there for our kids). My son overheard me say it, and he asked if it was some sick name for an abortion clinic.

As in β€œBye bye baby.”

So stupid but I can’t remember the last time I laughed as hard as I did. I can’t stop replaying it in my head and laughing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeD341
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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What kind of fermented milk product do large scary monsters eat?

Ogret

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NPVT
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Ordered a vacuum a few days back. Good quality, though the product was a little sucky.

https://preview.redd.it/05c4ayjw55m51.png?width=288&format=png&auto=webp&s=40eb4d62a8ab9c00eac11c75f34ac611a41c910d

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the director of the stage production of Cinderella say, after the lead called out sick before opening night?

Get the understudy, the shoe, must go on!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I got a new job on a plastic Dracula production line.

There are only two of us working so I have to make every second count.

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/holysitkit
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a factory that makes OK products?

Satisfactory

πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?

A satisfactory....

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noodlesvonsoup
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a factory that sells passable products?

A satisfactory!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sayan_dutta7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a factory that makes average products?

A satisfactory!

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chemist612
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a factory that sells passable products?

A satisfactory

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoggenstein123
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report

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