What time of the day are you most productive?
It's so hard to get numbers like 3, 9, and 17 to be productive.
They literally can't even
Blueberry bushes are one of the least productive plants.
All their effort bears little fruit.
If being out of shape was a crime, a productive punishment would be to run on a treadmill.
It would be a run-on sentence.
Saw another one of these and decided to be productive during bio...
Why Did the Raisin Farmer Secure a $100k Loan to His Most Productive Raisin Grape Tree?
Because it was his "raisin debt tree" (use French accent).
Why are dolphins considered the most productive animals?
Everything they do is done with porpoise.
I finally got funding for my dictionary based stage production, "Pun: A Play On Words"
I just got a job on a production line making plastic Draculas
There's only two of us working there, so I have to make every second count.
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
I was banned from /r/dadjokes for posting about my love of canned pork products
When company uses a pun on their product, I’m sold.
A German meat packing plant had to switch from natural products to collagen skins for its sausages.
It was the wurst case scenario.
I was sick and tired of my wife forgetfully leaving her feminine hygiene products in the toilet, so I confronted her
She immediately flushed with embarrassment.
A mattress salesman offered me a huge discount on a product out of my budget
I told him I’ll sleep on it
Whats a Chef's favourite nicotine product?
I saw a pack of gummy worms that said “No artificial flavor.”
Who buys gummy worms hoping they’d taste as close to real worms as possible?
My son grows a lot of fur and manufactures products of art or craft on nights when the moon is full...
Seems the Weekend had compete creative control for the halftime special and brought in his own production team.
I guess Everybody's Working For the Weekend.
Penny production with Abraham Lincoln’s face seems to be quite low this year.
People who sell meat and meat products may be disgusting to some people, but.....
People selling fruits and vegetables are definitely grocer.
What do you call 2 birds stuck together?
My son's science fair entry was a volcano made of a fat product from rendering the fatty tissue of a pig. My son's fat teacher waddled around everywhere when he set it off...
The lard ash was everywhere!
Apple announced a new product for wives that helps cope with spontaneous dad jokes throughout their day.
The iRoll
Edit: thank you kind strangers for the awards! I told my wife we've struck gold and she immediately upgraded to the newest iRoll v2 software!!!
The wine makers have increased production
Apparently they are having a very grape day.
If Trump wins in 4 years he will halt all shredded cheese production.
He is going to make Americans grate again . . .
Where are "Yes-men" and People Pleasers made?
Why did people loose so much money in derivative products and markets.
Because they had no option.
What paper product speaks really quickly?
Torque appropriated circumstances call for -in kind- repeat applied force when concerned with most of yer dried and salted pork products and jovial responses.
Have you seen the movie about production methods of boats, planes, and bridges in the 20th century?
I can't remember the name but it's riveting.
When someone sees you with Apple product.
My friend opened a tea store. He told me that every time he stocks the bottled tea products, they sell out within hours...
Business has been Brisk, baby!
I have an idea for a new product: a butter substitute mixed with an aphrodisiac.
I'm calling it Margarine of Eros.
Ive invented a product that increases the size of your basement...
I hope it is a big cellar.
What do you call a Scandinavian who does eat animal products?
Norvegan!
Edit: doesn't, not does. I'm a donkey
I like the idea of podiums
They're a product I can really get behind
A bit morbid but hilarious. This happened earlier today.
My son had never heard of the store “Buy Buy Baby” (an American chain of stores for products for babies, similar to “Babies R Us”). I can’t remember exactly why I brought it up, but I mentioned the store to my wife (I think we were reminiscing on shopping there for our kids).
My son overheard me say it, and he asked if it was some sick name for an abortion clinic.
As in “Bye bye baby.”
So stupid but I can’t remember the last time I laughed as hard as I did. I can’t stop replaying it in my head and laughing.
What kind of fermented milk product do large scary monsters eat?
Ordered a vacuum a few days back. Good quality, though the product was a little sucky.
https://preview.redd.it/05c4ayjw55m51.png?width=288&format=png&auto=webp&s=40eb4d62a8ab9c00eac11c75f34ac611a41c910d
What did the director of the stage production of Cinderella say, after the lead called out sick before opening night?
Get the understudy, the shoe, must go on!
I got a new job on a plastic Dracula production line.
There are only two of us working so I have to make every second count.
What do you call a factory that makes OK products?
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
What do you call a factory that sells passable products?
What do you call a factory that makes average products?
What do you call a factory that sells passable products?
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