My favourite original pun
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︎ Jan 16 2021
At dinner tonight, I made the greatest original pun Iβve ever heard and it went unappreciated.
My dad almost choked on a small flake of pizza crust, and he spent several minutes coughing in a loud and alarming way.
Finally he stopped, and he was all better. Someone caused him to chuckle, which triggered another fit of coughing.
I said... βThat definitely didnβt go well; I think he had a βre-laughseβ!β
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︎ Aug 25 2018
Original puns
Poetry is good for amateurs; literature is best left to prose.
I've somehow made a hobby of creating (often very nerdy) puns, wordplay, and absurdities. Some of them have been sold on t-shirts. Most of them just end up as a FB status. They are not (at) all great, but they are original, so far as I know. Now I'm going to leave them here.
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︎ Apr 25 2014
My six-year-old daughter just delighted me with a completely original pun: What do you call it when you have to go inside at the end of the day?
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︎ Mar 29 2015
I'm really upset about the lack of original puns here...
Like seriously, if I've read one, I've reddit all.
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︎ May 27 2016
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︎ Apr 24 2014
My friend and I have this game we play...
If someone makes a pun, you have to reply in a pun... but it has to be on the same topic as the original pun. Sooooooooooooooooooo my friend had the most clever, best pun of all time... A 3 word combo. The topic was dairy... and he made a pun I didn't quite catch... so with his wit, he responded "I guess that one flew right pasteurize" My mind was shattered...
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︎ Sep 17 2013
Stop basting my Lamb, you lamb-baster
So I came across a word today in my reading that I had heard before and was able to deduce it's likely meaning based in the context it was used, however, to be safe, I looked it up anyway and while reading the book definition came up with what I hope is an original pun (phrase)...
Context: When someone is giving you a hard time you can say, "stop basting my Lamb, you lamb-baster"
lambaste - criticize (someone or something) harshly
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︎ Feb 06 2019
Dad joke escalation
Dad was visiting last week, talking about his household projects he did. He mentioned that he got his septic tank emptied before winter, and that 'it was a shitty job'. He then tells me that his neighbor also had to get his tank emptied, so the service truck also emptied the neighbor's tank at the same time. He smiles and says, "Well, my neighbor and I finally got our shit together!"
He said he was very proud of himself for making an original pun like that. I patted him on the shoulder, looked him in the eye and said, "I can always appreciate an organic pun."
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︎ Jan 08 2016
Smart dog originally from R/Memes but crossposts arenβt aloud
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︎ Feb 03 2021
French fries werenβt originally cooked in France π«π·
They were cooked in grease
βWell oil be dammedβ
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︎ Apr 08 2021
My 5yo blew us away with this original that he came up with all on his own. What do you call two ice dragons?
Twice dragons.
Update: honestly thank you everyone, you guys are totally making this kids day! Distance learning in kindergarten has been rough and he misses seeing his friends pretty hard, so when I told him about this (I was able to use βWreck-It Ralph : Ralph breaks the Internetβ and buzz tube with likes/hearts as a reference) heβs been smiling from ear to ear nonstop since! A million thankyouβs for the kind words and awards.
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︎ Feb 01 2021
I couldnβt think of any original chemistry jokes
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︎ Mar 14 2021
No more Suez Canal jokes!
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︎ Mar 29 2021
An original from my 5 year old daughter: Why was the egg itchy?
Because it had egg-zema.
She's suffered from eczema since she was a baby and I'm glad she can find humor in it.
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︎ Feb 06 2021
What do you call a historian studying a music genre that originated in Jamaica in the late 1950s...
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︎ Mar 18 2021
Originally posted by u/UnidentifiedSpecie
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︎ Dec 14 2020
I wasn't originally going to have a brain transplant....
.....but then I changed my mind.
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︎ Feb 06 2021
Today is the day I can post it
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︎ Mar 02 2021
Thought this pun was original. It is not.
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︎ Dec 27 2020
Weird film trivia: I just found out that Thandie Newton's character from Mission: Impossible 2 was originally going to appear in Goldeneye, but her part was cut when they decided to film in Russia.
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︎ Mar 07 2021
'Tis the season for original content :^)
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︎ Dec 26 2020
Cake day original joke! Why donβt penguins like eating clown fish?
Because they taste funny!
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︎ Dec 26 2020
Did you know Tristan was originally a nickname?
People were sick of having to write out Stanstanstan.
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︎ Dec 24 2020
So you know Gandhi? Walked barefoot, tough feet. Fasted a lot, so he was weak. Prayed a lot, real spiritual. Unfortunately, suffered from bad breath.
In other words, he was a super-calloused fragile mystic suffering from halitosis.
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︎ Apr 22 2021
Would better fit here, original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/kq35tq/shitpost_because_its_3_am_and_i_should_be_sleeping/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
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︎ Jan 05 2021
Why is yoda afraid of 7?
Because six, seven eight.
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︎ Feb 11 2021
Donβt know how to properly share with this but I have included the name of the original, most people didnβt get it(third line)
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︎ Dec 18 2020
Original: Blursed_Wow
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︎ Jul 13 2020
Would better fit here, [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/kq35tq/shitpost_because_its_3_am_and_i_should_be_sleeping/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
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︎ Jan 04 2021
Did you know the PS5 was originally going to be called the PSPSPSPSPS.
But it was attracting cats too much.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
Two original dad jokes for you that involve our dog Habibi
Our new puppy is named Habibi but we all call her Bibi for short. Here are two real dad jokes I've told about her in the past few weeks:
- What do you call it when Bibi eats one of the Star Wars toys?
Bibi ate
- What do you call it when Bibi shoots out tiny poop pellets instead of her normal poops?
Bibi gun
Thank you, thank you. bows
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︎ Jan 27 2021
What do you say to your slow fence builder when he's not being original on r/dadjokes?
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︎ Jan 22 2021
Why did the golfer wear two pants?
In case they got a hole in one.
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︎ Apr 12 2021
Callmecarson origins
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︎ Apr 09 2020
I made a joke saying this Thanksgiving would be extra special because we'll be spreading around diseases like the original Thanksgiving. Someone told me "too soon".
They were right. I should have waited until next week.
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︎ Nov 17 2020
Did you know french fries arenβt originally from France?
They were first cooked in Greece.
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︎ Sep 27 2020
Iβve got a friend whoβs half Indian.
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︎ Apr 14 2021
My wife took off with a tractor salesman.
Left me with a John Deere Letter.
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︎ Mar 22 2021
My mom says my dad was of Persian origin.
Ee-ran away when I was a child.
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︎ Oct 30 2020
When you leave the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster...
That's called A-pasta-cy
I'm proud of that one. I originally posted it to r/cleanjokes
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︎ Apr 14 2021
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