I'm looking for the story of an astronaut whose lunar Odyssey was very fruitful?

Mangoes to the moon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shouldExist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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My puns are fruitful
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gaeboomering
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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They are having a fruitful conversation.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2018
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What a fruitful discussion!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BanAllPineapples
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
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Picking Strawberries to give away can be a fruitful endeavour! No punnet tendered.
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2015
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Fruit pun related to wealth

I want to make a joke about a rich fruit, and so am need to choose a fruit best associated with wealth, riches having lots of money, etc..

Can any of you pun masters help me out?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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I do love me some fruit puns

https://preview.redd.it/e3gbq2lopxr11.png?width=514&format=png&auto=webp&s=4a831652c3ee2a9018744b74a343b9bbbacf62c2

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iamneverfunny
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
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A storefront that boasts a fruit pun, just peachy.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TreSixtyFlip
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
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Fruit puns intended

Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamesduffton
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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Some well considered puns

From an email my cousin sent me:

I wanted to be a monk but I never got the chants.

I was kidnapped by mimes, they did unspeakable things to me.

The finest shoes are made of smooth leather, my opinion will never be suede.

A perfectionist walked into a bar - apparently it wasn't set high enough.

Man injured in bizarre peek-a-boo accident! He's in ICU.

Went to this horrible bar called "The Fiddle" ... it really was a vile inn.

To the thief who stole my glasses, I will find you - I have contacts.

If any of you knows how to fix hinges my door is always open.

Police car loses wheels to thief! Cops are working tirelessly to nab suspect.

Cold? Go stand in the corner, it's 90 degrees.

If your guy doesn't appreciate fresh fruit puns let that mango.

A few puns make me numb but math puns make me number.

My friend was explaining electricity and I was like "Watt"?

Someone threw a jar of mayo at me, I was like "What the hellman?"

Where did the Terminator find toilet paper? Aisle B, back.

Due to the quarantine I'll only be doing inside jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eli_Truax
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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Co-Worker and I were bored at work this morning, we wrote this. We work for a fruit store.

NASHI here Scott, we don't need your PERSIMMON to PRODUCE puns. I ain't LIME-ing, fruit puns are hard. It's a GRAPE skill to have and not at all CORNy. If BANANA (you wanna) challenge us; that can be ORANGEd, however you SHALLOT be prePEARed for us. I can GUAVAntee we will not deal with you GINGERly; if you push, APPLE; (I pull) It's not like i'm speaking LEBANESE, CUCUMBERstand?

I myself am full of puns from my head TOMATOES, as you can KIWI (See, we) have been doing this longer than you, we never skip a BEET, our abilities just climb higher PAPAYA (and higher)?.

We don't CARROT all if you're upset by this, in fact it's about THYME we asked your mother on a DATE. So don't be a DILL, we've BEAN there and done that before. So be ready to LETTUCE give you something to cry about throws onion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iCappa
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2014
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Vegetables and fitness puns

My kid's school is having a jogaton to raise money for the schools garden. I thought the kids would get a kick out of some funny motivational posters with vegetable/herbs/fruits puns. Please help me Reddit as I'm not nearly as creative as you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mmmnmbop
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2015
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I heard a cactus fell in love with a fruit tree.

They make a prickly pear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kadunk25
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2021
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My fiance's father has forbidden our fruit themed wedding in Vegas...

Looks like we cantaloupe.

Edit: I'm sorry all. I know this is an especially low hanging fruit. Hell, it's practically on the ground.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Solest044
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2021
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I had to fire our fruit delivery guy this morning

he was driving me bananas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoNotCool
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
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What's the invisible man's least favorite fruit?

Pear. He always diss-a-pear

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πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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What do you call a crime, committed by a fruit?

A strobberry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calivera1308
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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What is Beethoven's favourite fruit?

A Banana na, banana naaaa.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BellaLugosisChips
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
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As one of the biggest fruit farmers in the country, I owe all of my success to my dear dad. I grew up as a kid who was scared of everything, and my dad always told me to

grow a pear

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πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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What do you call a fruit with lots of emotion?

A passionfruit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpitFire1220
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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Which is the most successful fruit? mElon Musk
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πŸ‘€︎ u/purpleyak99
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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What do you call a fruit who’s obviously got children?

Ap-pear-ent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/violetPork
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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My son asked me "Why are bananas such popular fruits?". I replied

"Because they have a peel".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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I thought I heard news of a country making money out of soft pear-shaped fruits with sweet dark flesh and many small seeds...

But I guess it was a fig mint of my imagination.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2021
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What type of fruit can’t run away and get married?

A Cantaloupe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FadedFigure
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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A young Indian couple was trying to have a quiet wedding, but their family refused and made them have a big wedding instead. What fruit did they serve at the event?

Cantelope

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Magmagan
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
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Where do fruits go on vacation?

Pear-is

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heshi-sherif
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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Did you hear about the guy who went on a fruit diet? In just 2 days, he became completely obnoxious

Evidently, it is enough to make a Mango crazy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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What do you call a nightmare about fruit soda

A Fantasmagoria

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doomerzan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit?

It’s Bana-nana-naaaa

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hatehatedate
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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What do you call Gandhi after a very long walk while eating durian fruit.

Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fireburner80
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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What do you call a two weed-heads buying fruit?

An edible arrangement.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/devdevo1919
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out...

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"

"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."

The man can't believe it.

"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"

Naturally, they're both shocked.

"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."

Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."

They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.

"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"

The man puts down his fruit and responds,

"It's a date!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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Blending some fruit into a purΓ©e and said β€œcool” as I finished making it.

My wife: don’t you mean... coulis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hueleroo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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Some fruit told me about the amazing journey they had

It was Pear-ilous!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AurumEatHam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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I got banned from /r/DadJokes for posting, "Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms!"

Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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No one bird can eat a box or fruit loops...

...but toucan!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Supersumo2012
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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I've recently started writing an Ebook about the history of citrus fruits.

It's nowhere near finished, but the first chapter's on lime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
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What do you call a pirate that doesn’t eat his fruit?

Whatever you want, he died of scurvy ages ago

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryder_Alknight
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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Growing Fruit Trees

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What do you know about growing fruit trees?" he asks the bartender. "Why do you ask?" the bartender replies. "My wife just told me to grow a pear," the guy replies. "I don't know how that's going to help me kill that spider she was complaining about...."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firegoat1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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How do you know if certain fruits are good for you?

Bite em and see!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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Cooking
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bitchyswiftie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
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I asked my wife, β€œDid you know there’s a fruit that gives you your entire potassium requirement for the day?”

My wife: That’s bananas.

Me: I know, I couldn’t believe it either.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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John Bon Jovi has started an extremely strict fruit only diet...

He's living on a pear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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What kind of fruit can't get married?

Cantaloupe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GREENHOWLER18
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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What type of fruit Must get married in a Church?

A Cantaloupe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Altar-83
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes...

You need to let that mango.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/__teju
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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