If America did have a purge night, there would absolutely be twitch streamers hosting a "Let's Slay"

Explanation:taking on the topic of Lets Play.

Thought this would be better on Shower thoughts but I was pointed here because of the word play aspect.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ContrlAltCreate
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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My dad slays everyone with his jokes

Dad: What did celery say when he broke up with his girlfriend?

Me: Uh... I have no idea...

Dad: "She wasn't right for me, so I really don't carrot all."

Ba dum tsss.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blasphumorus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2014
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Slaying the New Generation

A younger co-worker just walked past my office and said "I'm so tired," to which I replied "Hello Miss Tired, may I call you 'So'"?
She was immediately in absolute hysterical laughter. I don't know how long it went on. She walked away and was still laughing until she was out of ear shot.
I'm starting to suspect she's drunk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReallyBigTurtle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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What do you call the cow that slayed a dragon?

Legendairy.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/52754215
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2017
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What’s the difference between a knight and Santa’s reindeer?

One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Slayed my girlfriend with this Dad joke

GF: I lost my phone can you call it?

Me: Jess' phone! Jess' phone where are you?!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeffmccarthy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2014
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What do you call an insect who’s good in bed?

A slaying mantis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ColaNaught
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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What do cows dance to?

Moosic.

This one slayed at my 5 year olds birthday party yesterday

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AbsolutZer0_v2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
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I told a joke at a funeral today and nobody laughed

But one guy was dead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hdhdhshshsh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2017
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Anyone else notice Romo dad-joke America?

β€œDid Brady just say Reagan? .... Reagan must mean a run to the right.” Fucking slayed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinmeista_flex
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
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Punny names of Dark Souls 3 bosses.

For reference: Link to wiki

Some of these are done in a kind of "news headline"-style:

  • Choir leader fired after using too much sexual innuendo; "Lewd Ex Cantor."

  • Video on demand about a street where nothing happens; "Vod of the Boring Alley."

  • Man's brutal cousin turns out to be a great bloke; "Raw-Ted, Great Dude".

  • Panic spreads as toilet facilities take over the world; "Cry! Stall-Age."

  • A man orders a book of basic letters to look after his daughters belongings while he looks after the others; "ABC, Watch Her's!".

  • Sams brother cheats a dude; "Dean Cons the Peep."

  • A ride in the amusement park offers a wide range of emotions; "High! Low! Woo! Nah."

  • A weird and hard to describe new dessert; "Cold Lemon Thing."

  • A new star in stand up rises! Come see "Puntiff Sulyvahn."

  • Pirates start eating fava beans and a new drink is required; "Yo! Ho! The Chianti!."

  • A Long lived man has an unusual apetite for fish; "Old-Rick, Devourer of Cods".

  • In Bacteria-Town, a devastating disease strikes one inhabitant working at a hotel; "Cancer of the Borrelia Valet".

  • Roman god Cubid is ordered to take a woman to cave and kill her; "Drag and Slay Her Amor"

  • Osiris's statue has been in way too many marriages and people have started to call it; "Osiris the Consummated Thing."

  • The choir leader from before is transformed into a mushroom; "Champignon Cantor"

  • An english man becomes the leader of a Polish airplane company and gets nicknamed; "LOT-Rick"

  • An impatient tree person attacks a random mythical hunter; "Antsy Ent! Why Hern?!"

  • Horse named Elvis keeps making noise and a man shouts;"Neigh Less King!"

  • A child opens a chocolate egg and a white spirit jumps out; "Soul of Kinder"

Sorry about the possible typos.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dralnu22
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2016
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A compilation of my dads terrible jokes

After seeing Taken:

"Taken? More like this movie has taken all my money!"

After seeing Final destination 5:

"Final Destination? More like, My Final destination is out of the movie theater!"

"Wanna know what my favorite part of the movie was? The credits!"

"The back of my eyelids were more entertaining than that movie."

After telling him about a Slayer concert:

"Slayer? More like, this band is gonna slay all my money!"

After telling him my favorite musical genre is heavy metal:

"Well, i hate heavy metal. I can never lift it!"

These are just a few

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tardersauce12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2013
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Oh God...

I was talking to my dad just now about the legend of St George. He said, jokingly, that the knight did slay a dragon and I retorted with.

"Yeah, and allegedly a rose bloomed out of its blood,"

His reply? "Yup, allegendly,"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/inguaz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2015
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