A sheep wakes up to find that she's at a completely different farm.

None of the other sheep seem alarmed, so she goes and asks another sheep what's going on.

"Oh, haven't you herd?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slekrons
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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Saw an accident at a farm and then noticed two young sheep charging there with sirens on their heads.

They were the lamb-ulance

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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My neighbor ran over from his farm and was sobbing. β€œMy sheep are missing!” He cried. β€œMy sheep are missing! Please help me!”

I said β€œthat sounds like a ewe problem.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clubberin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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My wife and I have been having trouble communicating. We decided to take a walk when we passed a farm. She said "aww, honey look at the sheep." I relied...

No, ewe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mpicc
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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I can control the sheep in my farm just my listening to them.

I herd it with my own ears.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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Did you hear about the Coca Cola truck crashing into the sheep farm?

It was soda-ram-ic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarahjennyv
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2017
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I visited a sheep farm yesterday and got to watch the collies working-

As the collies brought in a small batch, the farmer turned to me and said "All ten of em, safe and sound, good dogs!"
They sheep were standing in two groups, 4 + 4, and I was like
"But there's only eight of them..."
"Yeah but they got rounded up."

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2016
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I’m the animal kingdom, it’s considered a heinous crime for a malaria-infected mosquito to bite.

The insect police force was tracking one of these malaria-mosquitos, when the mosquito fled to a farm. First, she tried to hide in the house, until the farmer chased her away with a newspaper. She tried to hide in the barn with the horses, but the barn cat took a few swipes at the mosquito, and chased it from the barn.

Finally, the mosquito set eyes on sheep in the pasture.she decided all that thick wool would be the perfect place to hide from the insect police force.

The police force arrived shortly after. They first went to the house. No mosquito. They searched the horses. No mosquito. Finally, they got to the pasture with the sheep. After searching and searching, they could not find where the mosquito had hidden.

The mosquito was on the lamb.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreadfullyBIzzy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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I tried too hard.

An art critic was judging paintings at an event.

The first one was a bland painting of the earth. not too bad, but nothing out of this world.

The second one was a blank painting. Why they even turned it it, don’t ask.

The third one though. The third one was a beautifully crafted painting of a sheep.

The art critic turned to the artist. All they had to say was, β€œWow, I am wooly astonished. The shear amount of detail of this art ewe made, which definitely lambs you into first place. This might be way pasture standards, but too baaad, don’t be sheepish. This piece definitely separates the sheep from the goats, it will definitely farm you some moo-lah.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PorpoleyPolarBear
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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So we're driving past some sheep.

Dad: "Son, do you know how to get the attention of those sheep?"

Me: ? "No...."

Dad: (shouting out the window) "Hey ewe!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatCrazyViking
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2014
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I was bitten by a German Shepherd last week.

He caught me stealing a sheep from his farm in DΓΌsseldorf.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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An inspector visits a farm...

He tells the farmer that he wants to speak with his animals so he can check how their life there is.

The farmer reluctantly leads the inspector to the paddocks, the inspector notices some cows and approaches asking "Hello Ms Cow, how are you finding life on this farm?" The cow replied in a ventriloquistling voice, "I love my life on the farm, I get grass all day and get put indoors at night". The farmer is amazed at the sight before him.

The inspector makes his way to the duck pond and asks the ducks, "Ducks, how is your life at this farm?" The duck, like the cows reply "I love this farm, we get grain and the big pond. We love our life here".

The inspectors continues his way through the farm with the farmer in tow eventually reaching the sheep pen. As he makes his way towards the sheep the farmer quickens his pace catching the inspectors. "I have something to tell you before you chat to the sheep, THE SHEEP LIE!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageRacoon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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Is there a prize for the most laborious set-up?

Down on his farm, Old MacDonald was hosting his annual talent contest amongst his animals and announced that, this year, the theme was Shakespeare.

All of his livestock had been busily and excitedly rehearsing because they knew that 1st prize was to be a gigantic gazebo festooned with flashing electric lights, a glitter ball, a speaker system and turntables.

Competition was fierce; the chickens performed Othello, the horse chose Hamlet, the sheep Romeo and Juliet and the cow performed Richard III.

After much deliberation, the farmer and his wife ordered a hushed silence and announced: "Cow is the winner of our disco tent."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JeffGoldbuns
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2014
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