Sometimes, when you find yourself walking through a shallow pool for no reason...

...you have to stop and ask yourself what you’re wading for...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sully1227
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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I asked my dad if he could fry some potatoes, flour, and egg in a shallow patty for me...

He said that's a latke ask for!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ptshoink
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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Why do soccer players hate shallow pools?

Because there is no diving.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snypershot
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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This is gonna sound shallow, but..

I hate the deep end of the pool

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fastchadnasty
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
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I told my whale friend not to eat that family of dolphins in shallow water but he did and beached himself.

That's why you don't eat Tide Pods.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/l3373r7h4nu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
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Some People Are shallow, Some People Are Deep...

But I can't be Neither Since I can't Swim!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Losshotgun
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2017
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Vampires must have really shallow personalities.

Because they are non-reflective.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dockerhate
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2016
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my friend just told me, 'I hope you die in a deep hole filled with water'.

I know he means well.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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To all the women out there who say size doesn’t matter:

You are all extremely shallow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DwelveDeeper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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Philosophers have really good....

Depth perception

This is deep

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joker-here
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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You can never trust kiddy pools

They’re very shallow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ninjora
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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Religion is like a swimming pool.

Most of the noise is coming from the shallow end.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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Any time I start a sentence with "Well..."

My father cuts me off and says " 'Well' Now that's a deep subject"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CertDenied
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2015
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Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper used to give away copies of horror films starring Blake Lively...

But they're out of "The Shallows" now

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Draykonslayer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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My girlfriend says she might be pansexual...

Here is a screenshot. Me and my girlfriend were texting each other:

Her: One day I do want to try having sex with a girl just to see what it's like, but I think I'm just really open minded about it. Or I'm pansexual which my dad thinks I am.

Me: -I send her a picture of a frying pan- So does this turn you on? I knew you liked cooking, but I didn't know they had a word for it.

Her: I'm gonna kill you -_-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J52
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2015
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Came across this Dad joke in Stephen Kings 'IT' (no spoilers)

"Gee Rich...I guess I must have forgotten to pay you your allowance on monday. That;s the only reason I can think of you needing money on friday."

"Well.."

"Gone?"

"Well..."

"That's an extremely deep subject for a boy with such a shallow mind,"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cjick
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2017
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Last night's dinner conversation...

I asked my son (3) what he was eating, and he says "Ed a mommy" (Edamame).

I of course respond with "No, that's da mommy!" and point to my wife.

That was terrible, So I set up a much better one. I told my wife that our friend Kevin had recently had a girlfriend, but he broke up with her when he found out she was missing three toes. She was shocked that Kevin would be so shallow.

I told her, "Didn't you know Kevin was Lack Toes Intolerant?" The kids did not understand why we were laughing so hard. I think my wife wanted to throw something at me.

I love terrible jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SgtMac02
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2015
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Well...

It’s a deep subject.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/midblessed
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
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Well...

Deep Subject.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JenniferLawrenc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2015
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