When I was a teenager, I wanted to join a pyramid scheme.

But my mummy wouldn't let me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreatGreenGobbo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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Did you hear about the government scheme to get rid of deodorant?

They said that they are going to axe body spray.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SteadyingRuck
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
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My friend tried to get me to join his MLM scheme of selling devices for establishing a horizontal line by means of a bubble in a liquid that shows adjustment to the horizontal by movement to the center of a glass tube...

It'd make cents off so many levels.

/edit:rephrased punchline

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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Did you hear about the Tennis Money Embezzlement Scheme?

Yeah, it was quite the racket

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yergisgoingtodie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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I bet Egyptians are suckers for pyramid schemes.
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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What is the worst pyramid scheme ever?

The one that never got built

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Erikjb12
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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Employment scheme for under-trained pilots
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πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
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The most impressive pyramid scheme was the building of the pyramids.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/first-timer-es
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
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I think it's weird Abba doesn't follow its own rhyme scheme

'She is the dancing queen Young and lean Only seventeen.'

Might as well be called Aaa

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_emordnilaP
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2017
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Henry Winkler just tried to get me to invest in a get-rich-quick idea but I think it's a Fonzie scheme.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skonen_blades
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2018
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How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?

Pyramid schemes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arakashi_moku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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What do you call dad’s that have kids that have their own kids

A punzi scheme

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobby_vance
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Obituary for the Pillsbury Dough Boy, Pop N Fresh

The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop N Serve", and/or "Pop N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy will be buried in this lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities will turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The grave site is expected to be piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.

The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eyes_and_teeth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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I've been Internet hacking for almost thirty years, and now I want to give it up.

Can someone point me to an Anonymous Anonymous group?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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My wife told me she is thinking about selling Egyptian rocks.

It sounds like a pyramid scheme to me

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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I lost most of my retirement to that guy from Happy Days.

It was a real Fonzi scheme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Entree_The_Giant
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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Did you hear Henry Winkler was arrested for a financial scam?

He was running a "Fonzi Scheme."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GetEquipped
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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So I was rolling coins from my tip money and placing the rolled up sleeves on each other forming a kind of pyramid shape:

My sister walks up to me and asks: β€œAre you creating a pyramid scheme?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ColinHenrichon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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Pharaoh tried to sell Amway to help offset the costs of his burial tomb.

Turns out it was a pyramid scheme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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How did Pharaoh successfully enslave the Jews?

He created a pyramid scheme

Edit: spelling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesabermaniac
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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The pharaoh promised workers they would be rich if they bought into his MLM construction plan.

It was the very first pyramid scheme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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This guy from Egypt called me to invest in a tourism company, and then to ask 3 others to invest in it, while getting returns from their investments. I declined it.

It was a pyramid scheme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHyperthetical
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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Did you hear the story in the news about the man who planned to replace his head with a rabbits?

What a hare-brained scheme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Philopean12
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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Why did the Egyptian kings stop building monuments?

Because it was all a pyramid scheme

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vshesha
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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I have a plan to transplant a rabbit's cerebellum into a human skull.

It's a hare-brained scheme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreadMoor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh...

But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2017
🚨︎ report
How did Pharaoh get the Jews to work for him for all this years?

He ran a pyramid scheme

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesabermaniac
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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A local baker decided he could increase production and profits by putting bread in the oven for half the usual time.

His half-baked scheme didn't work out the way he had planned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vandorbelt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2017
🚨︎ report
King Tut was broke when he died

Lost all of his money in a pyramid scheme

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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Do you know why ancient egyptians had such a hard time recruiting laborers?

It was a pyramid scheme

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Erikjb12
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the fish commit fraud?

A pondsy scheme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatGuySolace
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
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Just been told I can get rich quick by buying an old Egyptian building.

I think it's a pyramid scheme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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How did the pharaoh get so rich?

He was running a huge pyramid scheme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TacoNumeroJuan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
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I have a missed call from earlier today - it was a number I don’t recognize and my phone says it’s from β€œEgypt”.”

I wonder if it was someone calling from one of those β€œpyramid schemes.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/baker_esq27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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What do you call a scam where folks who engage in wordplay invite others to engage in wordplay, and folks who were there longer get credit for what the newer folks come up with?

That would be a punzi scheme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
🚨︎ report
My son took a box of crackers out of the cabinet to get a snack. I told him to put it back with the box top facing out to make it easier next time...

I told him it was a get Ritz quick scheme...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Titeman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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Have you got a "smart shopper" loyalty card sir?

No, I'm not a smart shopper.

(I do this in front of the soon to be eyerolling wife. My boy still to young to "affect")

(This works where I live since the one grocery chain of stores branded their loyalty card scheme with the name "smart shopper")

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StoolZA
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2017
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Someone offered me a free trip to Egypt if I get five people under me to also signup.

I hate pyramid schemes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
🚨︎ report
You know what civilization had the biggest scam in history?

The Egyptians with their pyramid scheme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scabe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2017
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Who was that guy?

I can't remember his name - but the guy who ran that Ponzi scheme - he sure made off with a lot of money.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_seed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Scammers went to Egypt

My wife was telling our group a story of how she and her flat-mates got screwed by their landlords (property managers, not the property owners) in England. Right before they were due to refund everyone's security deposits, they took all the money, closed the business, and buggered off to Egypt. I asked her if they set up a multilevel marketing campaign.

You know... a Pyramid Scheme?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fellwarre
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2017
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Why didn't the guy accept the mummy's business proposition?

He thought it could be a pyramid scheme!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rageengineer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2013
🚨︎ report
All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh...

But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh...

But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme...

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
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The cops are looking for Henry Winkler.

They think he is guilty of a Fonzie scheme.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
🚨︎ report

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