Scalpel Puns

A list of puns related to "Scalpel"

A man rushed into a Doctor's surgery, shouting ' help me please, I'm shrinking ' The Doctor calmly said ' now settle down a bit '..

..' you'll just have to learn to be a little patient '

👍︎ 555
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👤︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
📅︎ Apr 16 2021
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You want to know the way to my heart?

A scalpel and a bone saw.

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/the_houser
📅︎ Nov 10 2020
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I invented an at home kit for giving yourself stitches.

I'm calling it Suture Self.

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/MysticalTroll_
📅︎ Dec 20 2019
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Girlfriend dadjoked for the first time in two years

I had previously told her that I'm afraid of going bald as I get older. Cut to later in the day...

Me: Gore in movies and games doesn't bother me when heads and arms and stuff are getting sliced off. But I get a little cringy when it's a scalpel cutting into skin; precision cuts are weird for me.

GF: Is it because it's a scalp el?

Me: ...

👍︎ 6
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👤︎ u/magladek
📅︎ Dec 20 2014
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You wanna know the way to my heart?

A scalpel and a bone saw.

👍︎ 6
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👤︎ u/Charley144
📅︎ Jun 03 2019
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