A race car driver holds rodent races,

names first rodent Danica RAT-Rick!

Fans say it was a RAT-tastrophe!

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πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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Why is being a vegetarian like being a prickly rodent...

Because for pork, you pine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Justlikeyourmoma
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2021
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They've been experimenting with adding rodent DNA to pet medication.

After all, what cat wouldn't want to take his pills if they tasted really mice?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainCrazy110
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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A small rodent lives in a apartment next to my computer keyboard.

It’s his mouse pad.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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Who's the most technologically advanced rodent?

Elon Muskrat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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My mum is terrified of rodents. The other day she saw a mouse and immediately pulled a knife on it.

"Mum!!! You're going to get us kicked out of Disney world. "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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Why can't rodents be succesful criminals?

Cause someone always rats them out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotYodaAtAll
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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- Me: why the heck is there small rodents in my drink?
  • Waiter: you asked for some mice!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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What do you call an inquisitive Hispanic rodent?

Por quΓ© pine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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What do you call a rodent that fetches sticks?

A lab-rat!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clark_creationz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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If You want to replace pet rodents, Which state should you go to?

New Hamster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Aarsh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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What did the rodent say to the vegan conifer?

I’d rather eat pork, you pine!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Davidismyrealname
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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I have this pet rodent with extremely large feet.

I call him Ratatouille

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πŸ‘€︎ u/forrestree
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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I taught my pet rodent to chew holes in car tires.

He is now my little "Deflator Mouse".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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What did Elvis say when he divorced the rodent?

"You ain't nothing but a groundhog."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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What rifle is used to kill rodents?

A Mauser

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SergeantPotatoes
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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Where do rodents go to get high?

Hamsterdam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JeremyJaLa
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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What do you call a satanic rodent?

A sinchilla.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fort_one-e
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
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What do you call a rodent that steals your dessert?

Pie-rat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manlymanhood
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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What's the difference between an actor and a burnt rodent?

One's Chris Pratt, the other's a crisp rat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alex2502
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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What was the rodent arrested for?

Ratketeering

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diatonicnerds
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
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What do you call a rodent with a machine gun?

A ratatatatata

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swiggetyswine69
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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Where did prohibition-era rodents get their alcohol?

The Squeakeasy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fingerpants
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
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A rodent has dreams of winning American Idol. His father says

β€œGopher it son”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KarateChop231
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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A rodent infestation...

...is quite a mice thing to wish on your enemies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2018
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What do you call a rodent high on life?

A Hamsterdam

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alltime75
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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What do you call a rodent drama set in Florida?

Miami Mice

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HerefordMadMan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
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What do you call a rodent that refuses to be used for scientific purposes?

A lab brat.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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My dad bought a pet rodent from an oceanic country

It was papa's new guinea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hexleviosa
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
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57 years after his death, we discovered that this one famous author made a path for small rodents who really want to throw themselves off a cliff...

He called it the Earnest Lemming-Way.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2018
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What is the device which is used to cool the lower jaws of south american rodents?

A chinchilla chin chiller

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πŸ‘€︎ u/torrell8
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
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What’s that rodent doing, taking it easy by the pool,.. it kind of seems to be relaxing its jaw?

It is a chinchilla.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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What’s the most monstrous rodent of all?

Chinzilla.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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I met a rodent who didn't want to tell me his name.

He preferred to remain anonymouse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattTheProgrammer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2017
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I have a large rodent trained to make the best coffee ever...

... it's my very own capybarista.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elnuno
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2017
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Where do rodent warriors go when they die?

To Vole-hole-a.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatmanIndustries
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2017
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What's a tree rodent's favorite tea?

Squirrel Grey

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zatch17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2015
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Before our tour of the sugar factory, my uncle warned us that it will smell of rodent bums

Because of all the mole asses.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jasoSwan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2015
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Did you hear about the Turkish rodent who got a job in politics?

He was Burak rat.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fairyoathen
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2016
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Which of the rodents are great at maths?

the Pirats

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spageti44
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2017
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What do you call an inquisitive Hispanic rodent?

Por que pine

πŸ‘︎ 198
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hesston97
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2017
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