I'm in intimate relationships with several Spanish women.
I put the "amor" in "polyamory".
Relationships between hockey 🏒 players and figure skaters are always doomed to failure.
No one is willing to break the ice.
What do you call two horses in a relationship?
Relationships are like fat people....
Most of them don't work out.
A couple gets exposed to radiation at Chernobyl, call that a toxic relationship
GF- “Why do we need walkie-talkies? Our relationship is over.”
BF- “ Our relationship is what? Over.”
What do you call an IT teacher who has an inappropriate relationship with a student?
I've always had a difficult relationship with my parents.
When I was first born, I didn't speak to them for 2 years.
I started reading this great book about the relationship between military battles and green vegetables.
It’s called War and Peas.
I've just ended a 15 year relationship...
Good thing it wasn't mine.
My relationship with the woman I met bungee jumping didn't last long.
As we were both on the rebound.
What is the Sorting Hat’s favourite relationship advice?
My sister had a baby, she hopes it’ll save the relationship...
But I still don’t talk to her
My 16 year old son told me I was a simp (probably because I'm looking to get into a new relationship), after I looked up the meaning I told him:
You must be a Simpson then.
A recipe for a good relationship
My wife and daughter are working on improving the meringue cookie recipe they are using.
I asked if the batter was better and my wife said yes.
So I asked if it had enough sugar or if it was a bitter better batter.
The look on her face was priceless!
I reminded her that she knew my sense of humor before she married me and went through with it anyway.
What did the pasta send to the other pasta to spice up their relationship?
I made a graph for my past relationships.
It has an ex-axis and a why-axis.
My last relationship ended because I didn't open the car door for her...
Instead I swam up to the surface.
What relationship advice did the snail give to it’s friend?
When in a new relationship, does your stomach hurt because of the butterflies...
Or the farts you hold in.
Two meth heads start a relationship, is that considered speed dating
Start of a rocky relationship
My wife left me because we have a rocky relationship.
I guess I took her for granite.
The most stable relationship I have is with my bed
Because it stands on four legs.
I'm in a very serious relationship with my girlfriend.
Haven't laughed in two years.
Relationship Goals
https://preview.redd.it/t38hnjzkpbm51.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=28434df6a6f812bf907f286d6f2eec8933feae24
My wife said that our relationship is like a holiday.
No, wait, that’s not it. She said it was her last resort.
What's the relationship between Octopi and Pens?
They have a lot ink-common.
I wonder how I didn’t know me and my girlfriend’s relationship was coming to a stop
Compatibility is key to a relationship
I used to be in a relationship with a person who made edible stickers for a living.
We had to part ways though, they were getting too clingy for my tastes.
Friend 1: So how’s your long distance relationship going?
Friend 2: So far, so good
When a new relationship pops up overnight
I once had a relationship with a woman who lived on the houseboat next to mine
but sadly we drifted apart.
It was a rocky relationship
Taller the guy, longer the relationship
Relationships are a lot like algebra....
You look at your X and wonder Y.
Me and my mother-in-law's relationship in a nut shell.
I just ended a 5 year old relationship.
Good thing it wasn't mine.
My relationship isn't stable.
She: Our relationship is over
He: Our relationship is what........ Over
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