Best way to contact a dead Italian.....
π︎ 71
π
︎ Jan 09 2021
Just deleted all the German contacts off my phone.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
I took out my contact lenses at midnight.
π︎ 48
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his contact lenses?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
If Marioβs brother died, would he contact him through a Luigi board?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 04 2020
Me and my wife got into an argument about how to contact an ancient Chinese dynasty...
She said...
"Talk to the Hans."
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
Two chinese Christians are having a contest to see who can contact God the fastest. After one wins, the other looks at him and says
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
My friend fell down a flight of steps then started looking at me without breaking eye contact...
I'm not sure why he was stairing.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
I got a contact to make a documentary about shoemakers. They didn't give me enough time to a great job...
...but I manged to cobble something together last minute.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jun 06 2020
I accidentally went to bed with my contact lenses in the other night.
My dreams have never been clearer.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 13 2020
How does an orchestra keep in contact with each other?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 21 2020
My customers keep complaining that they're receiving empty boxes with no contacts in them
but they're the ones that keep requesting contactless delivery!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 04 2020
I have a contact lens problem.
I have no contact lens solution.
π︎ 27
π
︎ Feb 03 2020
βͺWe agreed to start greeting each other without making physical contact...β¬
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 14 2020
I told my kid to make eye contact when talking.
But he just keeps headbutting people.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Dec 25 2019
Before my operation last week, the nurse wanted to know if I could give them a contact number in case of an emergency...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 29 2019
Contact lenses are better than glasses
π︎ 22
π
︎ Nov 08 2019
How does a medium contact a dead window washer?
π︎ 59
π
︎ Oct 01 2019
Quickest way to contact god in 2019
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 05 2019
Does anyone here want a free iPhone 11? If so, contact me.
We can then talk about how we both want a free iPhone.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 03 2019
It was hard for scientists to create a liquid for contacts
But they came up with a solution
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 01 2019
Iβve gotten so used to taking my contacts out over the years...
I should be able to take them out with my eyes closed
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 24 2019
My dog ate my contact lenses
Do you suppose that he's seeing shit more clearly now?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 11 2019
Running away from human contact.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Aug 18 2018
How do you get in contact with a Greek architect?
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Apr 21 2017
My dad said he couldnβt find his contacts
It was in the top left corner of his phone.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 06 2019
Eye contact
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 26 2018
If your house is flooded, contact me, I'll buy it.
I only invest in liquid assets.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jul 25 2019
Why arent contacts good in school?
They always miss their glasses
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 05 2019
How do you contact Michael Jackson?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 18 2019
Free air guitar to first person to contact me
π︎ 35
π
︎ May 12 2019
Whenever I wash my contact lenses with water it never really cleans them right and it stings when I put them in.
If only there was a solution.
π︎ 182
π
︎ Oct 12 2017
Everytime I wash my contacts in water it makes my eyes sting.
If only there was a solution.
π︎ 65
π
︎ Aug 02 2018
In a horrible accident, astronauts were killed when they tried to make first contact with a sentient gas cloud by telling it bad puns.
It was no laughing matter.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jan 26 2019
Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book βHow to Hugβ from the library.
Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jun 20 2018
Lesson learned today: When the newscaster says, βIf you know anything about this crime, please contact the police...β
The cops get really pissed off if you call them and just repeat the news segment.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Oct 17 2018
We still havenβt made contact with the aliens
Theyβre Martian to their own beat
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 25 2018
"How are we going to stay in contact?" Donald asked Bugs Bunny.
"WhatsApp, duck!" said Bugs Bunny.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 05 2019
Want to contact the spirit of a dead Italian ?
π︎ 25
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
What does Mario use to contact his dead relatives?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 04 2020
Two chinese Christians are having a contest to see who can contact God the fastest. After one wins, the other looks at him and says
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Oct 21 2019
What kind of board do Italians use to contact the dead?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Feb 14 2020
I have a contact lens problem.
I have no contact lens solution.
π︎ 207
π
︎ Nov 15 2018
I've deleted all the German contacts I know off my phone...
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 15 2019
I deleted all the German contacts from my phone....
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 26 2019
I deleted my German friend from my contacts list.
Now my phone is Hans free.
π︎ 47
π
︎ Feb 08 2018
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
