I think I have to rein back my puns. (Art by me)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weakshiv
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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Got a new job as a priest in a stable near Johannesburg...

I bless the reins down in Africa...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasthetanker
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
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What are a horse’s favorite numbers?

The neigh-gative ones.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Littlefinger91
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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I asked my horse, "Does a cat go mooooo"?

He replied, "Nay".

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πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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Horse walks into a bar during a storm

He's panting like he'd just been for a run

Asks for a drink

Bartender asks what he was up to, why's he so out of breath?

Horse says "I was trying to get out of the Reins"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WalterNewton
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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Just got a job taking care of horses.

It's stable work.

πŸ‘︎ 339
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πŸ‘€︎ u/woodceilingfan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2017
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Never been here before again

Old people will remember "Carnation" instant milk (powered milk). I got to thinking that if you added water to Carnation milk, then let it evaporate back to a powder,... then add water again it would be "ReinCarnation!"

[Yes, I'm a dad, so I'm fully licensed for such humor]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HoaleBoy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
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What do you call dangerous precipitation?

A rein of terror.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deathstrokejt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
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Now that Christmas is coming up I see pictures of reindeer everywhere.

I guess when it reins, it pours.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ridley_Himself
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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Dadjoked My Kid's Doctor This Morning.

Today was my youngest son's 18 month checkup and when the doctor came in the first thing he said was "please excuse my voice, I'm a little hoarse". Without hesitation I said "you don't look like one".

He just looked at me for a second and then laughed. My wife hid her face in her hands. Mission accomplished. If only my son were old enough to know what happened.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smixton
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2015
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Years ago, I was sent to a large stable to fetch the horse belonging to The Artist Formerly Known As Prince. I immediately knew which one it was...

It had a purple rein.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2018
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What did Santa Claus say to Rudolph about the weather?

It's going to rein, deer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chelseadaggered
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2016
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Did you hear about when the Invisible Man attacked the horses outside the cabin?

He clawed the reins.

(If you didn't get this, Congratulations! you're not that old!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2016
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A man goes to buy a horse (long)

So he finds the man who owns the horse. The owner takes him to the stable. The buyer asks to take the horse for a test ride.

 

"Okay," says the owner. "But I'm a retired church pastor. The horse will only go forward if you say, 'Praise the lord.' He will only stop moving if you say 'Hallelujah.' "

 

Feeling annoyed, the buyer says "That's fine," and he gets up on the horse. After the seller returns to the house, the buyer, mounted on the horse, whips the reins and says, "Hiyah!!" The horse doesn't move. "Yah," he said, spurring the horse. Still no movement. Feeling a little embarrassed and stupid, he complied to the owner's instruction. "Praise the Lord," he mumbled, and the horse began quickly trotting away from the stable.

 

Wow, the buyer thought, excited. I wonder how fast this horse can go. "Praise the Lord," he said, this time at normal volume. The horse sped up considerably.

 

Amazing! I must have this horse! the buyer thought. "Praise the Lord!" he shouted. "Praise the Lord!" And the horse kept speeding up. The stable behind them was no longer visible.

But the horse and the buyer were speedily approaching a huge canyon. Seeing this ahead, the buyer commanded, "St- stop! Whoaaa, horse!" But the horse kept the charge forward. "Hallelujah!" the buyer shouted. And the horse stopped at the edge of the vast canyon, with only inches of ground to spare.

Looking up to the sky, the buyer sighed in relief. "Praise the Lord."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/littlekuribandit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2017
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