William is nervous about his life prospects

Will is future tense

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ewormPL
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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Miner League Prospect.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jwinsome
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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I just joined an online site for gold miner dating.

My first search for a mate brought no matches, but did give me plenty of prospects.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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I'm considering marrying a high earning ceo who doesn't want children, but I'm sad about the prospect of giving up my scuba diving hobby.

It's illegal to DINK and dive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arrenlex
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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The first perspective drawing was a prospective perspective
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dynendal
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
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Both my kids are liberal arts majors, and they seem overwhelmed at the lack of job prospects.

Oh the humanities!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
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Horses have great job prospects

A very stable career

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pyscho-Suave-Harv
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Our local florist recently expanded to take in the shop space next door.

Business must really be blooming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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Reading about some college football prospects

With my girlfriend next to me, I was going over a 2016 NFL college prospects. Oregon has a defensive lineman named DeForest Buckner.

Girlfriend: "Is he any good?"

Me: "Some scouts think he leaves a lot to be desired with his technique, but I think they're just missing DeForest for DeTrees."

It was wasted on her.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/firethecannons
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2015
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My wife said this one was unbearable

Two naturalists spent the bulk of their lives studying bears in the Soviet Union. One was from Czechoslovakia and the other from Poland. When the USSR fell in December 1991 they were both old men, but they were excited about the prospect of finally getting the chance to study grizzlies in America. That following Spring they made arrangements to travel to Yellowstone to finally see the grizzlies.

When they arrived and informed the park rangers of their plan the rangers were alarmed, telling the scientists, "You can't go now. It's mating season, and the bears are very aggressive." But the former Soviets were insistent. "Please," they said, "We must go. We've waited our whole lives. We may never get another chance." Realizing the men couldn't be dissuaded, the rangers gave them a radio with instructions to report in with their location every day. The scientists set out, and for several days they reported dutifully that all was well.

On the third day, though, they failed to report in. Anxiously, the rangers sent out a search party to the scientists' last known location.

Unfortunately, the rangers discovered a bloody mess when they found the men's camp, and the tracks of two bears, a male and a female, leading off into the woods.

The rangers followed the tracks until suddenly they came upon the female grizzly, her muzzle still crimson with blood. They shot her and conducted an autopsy on the spot, sadly finding the remains of the Polish scientist inside her stomach.

"You know what this means, don't you?" said one ranger to the other. "Yes," the other replied, "The Czech is in the male."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithdok
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
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My dad on a plane talking about fishing..

Best told from my mother's prospective:

http://imgur.com/IZZTgq6

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mumpz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2015
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Egalitarian Punctuation

I work in IT at a university, and I was requested to update a template email my office sends out to prospective students. Whenever I start an email, I always begin with the salutation "Hello [student name]. With a full stop period.

Among the other changes requested, folk wanted me to change the period to a comma, because it "looks better" or something. I don't know.

After a bit of back and forth, I gave in and said "Fine. I'll give in to your filthy comma-unist ways." Many groans were had all around the office.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crepusculi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2016
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I don't know, CAN you?

I just texted my dad, "can i call you when i get out of work?" (Nothing serious) I'm at work right now and the way we file prospect students in the admissions office i work at is by the last three letters of their last name and the first letter of their first name. Before my dad could answer in dad-ways, i read the next file and it said "KAN U". I rolled my eyes when i heard my dad say "I don't know, can you?" In my mind.

The message had already been sent and dad's were uniting.

You guessed it, he replied in exactly that manner.

If you don't understand English grammar, which most people don't, I should have said "may I?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/apfeldaisies
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2015
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Did you hear about the guy who traveled 500 years into the future?

He is way ahead of his time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thephilleman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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