There are two possibilities for words that mean "final part" or "smaller amount".

The possibilities are: end, less.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ryanooooo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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Judge: I hereby find you guilty for all crimes you have been charged with. For sentencing I order you to spend life behind bars without possibility of parole

Criminal: That's a long sentence, I demand a shorter one.

Judge: U did it. Go 2 jail forever.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 525
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/johnblu5
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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[Request] I think there are more possibilities for this tired cow.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/limitedfarce
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
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The possibility that Elon musk's bodyguards aren't called musketeers makes me sad.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 62
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/alone_punner
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
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I asked dad why it makes him so uncomfortable to discuss the possibility of me moving into the garage?

He said "It's too close to home".

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/eltegs
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
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there is a serious lack of possible bear puns, can any of you think of more?

The problem with bears as a pun topic is that there are only 6 possible puns and most of them are stretches.

  1. bear double meaning with tolerate

  2. pandanother thing

  3. grizzly double meaning with horrific

4)kodiak double meaning with camera

5)koalalifications

6)and Ursidae the family classification can be shortened to sound like ursa and be used instead of "or so" like in the phrase "or so i was told".

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ahab_and_the_whale
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 28 2012
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I was watching the new Star Wars with my girlfriend yesterday

It was my second time watching it and only her first, so I had had some time to ponder possible puns to make. So when BB8 was introduced, I put my arm around her, leaned in to her ear, and said "Hey baby, that robot is cool and all, but it's only a BB8. I think you're a BB10."

She sighed, pulled my arm off of her, and scooted a seat away from me.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ROTCnaziBandgeek
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 26 2015
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Gold walks into a bar

The bartender says "AU get out of here!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 187
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/awkunzler
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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Dwayne Johnson is a really nice guy, so he always makes sure he's as close to the wall as possible...

He hates putting anyone between The Rock and a hard place.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/curioushom
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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I once sat next to a baby on a 10 hour flight. I had no idea that it was possible for someone to cry for 10 hours straight.

Even the baby was impressed.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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During Coronavirus, always pay businesses with cash where possible.

It will help them make a gross profit.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/joshzyx612
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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In my my neighbor's home, their huge dog frequently sleeps at the landing at the top of their tall staircase causing a possible tripping hazard. Good advice to them....

Persons in their household should watch their steps, particularly early risers.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bardbelle
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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My wife insisted she has nudist genes

I responded that nudists are defined by their lack of jeans

Edit: there->their

Edit 2: Awards? Wow! I'd like to thank the Academy, the community, my wife, and the man who made this post possible, my father in law!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/S93C141
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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What's the best possible reward for a k'ow know joke?

A no bell prize

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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Iโ€™m awaiting reply, but itโ€™s possible I was deleted entirely.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 16
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/o2lsports
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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I get it, you hated him 4 years ago ...

... and you still hate him now. But now he's an official resident of Florida and I may see him differently now. I've seen a lot of hate thrown his way, but this guy is a consistent winner and an overachiever. That's what the people who support him love about him. Yes, there have been some scandals. Yes, there have been some lies and maybe a few times he's twisted the truth to make himself look better. He's out there everyday proving those haters wrong time after time. Call it jealously, call it envy. Some people just can't handle how successful he is and how much money he has. They could even be jealous that he's got a hot, foreign model as his wife. You may not have wanted him in this role, but he's there now and there is nothing you or I can do about it. I know it'll possibly get worse over the next several days, but like him or not, Tom Brady is turning things around in Tampa Bay.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/eaglehawk2011
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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Puns in the fastest time possible.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HeyItsKevinOfficial
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 31 2020
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Today I found out that the coldest possible temperature is -273 degrees Celsius

All my life I thought it was something else but whatever, itโ€™s OK.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/realRianJohnson
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 27 2020
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A man named Dave. Long joke!

A man named Dave comes home very drunk late at night...

So this guy has been drinking with his buddies all night and he's as drunk as a skunk, gets home, falls up the stairs, undresses and goes to bed next to his wife. He falls asleep and next thing he knows, bang, he dies and finds himself waiting at the pearly gates.

The guy refuses to believe this is happening, he says to St. Peter: "This can't be possible, I'm a healthy man! This is not the way I die. You have to let me return down there!"
The guy can see St. Peter looks like he's feeling sorry for him, but he tells him that unfortunately, there's no policy for allowing people back on Earth. The guy insists: "But come on, there's got to be something you can do! I'll put up with anything, really, as long as you let me go back down."
So St. Peters tells him: "Well really, there's just this one possibility: you can go back, but only as a hen. That's the only thing we can allow." The guy guesses that this really is his only cha

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kmaff90
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.

They were Wright.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/-taco-rice-
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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Have you heard about the new game getting released? Itโ€™s AI is 20 years ahead of itโ€™s time, graphics are truly real life, an open world concept where anything you want to do is truly possible. Itโ€™s called:

Go outside and ride your bike

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jvanzandd
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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I don't thing reformation of the police is possible...

After all, Andy, Sting, and Stewart have each had success with other solo projects.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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In the future it will be possible to incubate humans in artificial uteri. If you want yours in the one by the window, it will be more expensive.

After all, it always costs more for a womb with a view.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ivegot_back
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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A pun or two about magicians and their antics

Person 1: What is your opinion on that one classic pulling the bunny out of the hat trick?

Person 2: I think raises some hare-raising questions.

P1: How so?

P2: It just begs the question of how it affects the rabbits themselves. After all, the magicians were pulling them out without a carrot the world.

P1: You raise at interesting point.

P2: We all know it's because of the secret compartment, you know? And, to minimize the suspiciousness of the hat, the compartment is as small as possible?

P1: Yes

P2: It must be very uncomfurtable to be in that space, and then be grabbed by the ears and raised high in front of a crowd. Like, don't get me wrong, I love magic tricks, but I wand to specify that i honestly feel that this trick in particular is quite inhumane.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SirZbear
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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my wife just completed a 40 week body building program this morning.

she's worked very hard and i know it's been difficult for her, but i'm very proud. she's in possibly the best shape of her life and she is once again confident in her own body, but i will endlessly love her despite what she looks like.

what, were you expecting me to say something about a baby?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/404--File-Not-Found
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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As soon as space travel is possible, Iโ€™m moving from the Milky Way to the Soymilky Way galaxy

Iโ€™m galactose intolerant

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BillowyWave5228
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...

High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ConradFlick
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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I can't stop thinking about that one Gnarls Barkley song...

Does that make me crazy?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FlumeHound9
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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Whatโ€™s the best Christmas present you could possibly get?

A broken drum... you canโ€™t beat it

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KoronaSenpai
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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A century ago, two brothers claimed that it was possible to fly.

They were Wright

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tedioustiger
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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A couple expecting a baby girl made a long list of possible names for a girl child, but only one name in the event that they have a boy. They ended up having a boy.

He was named Justin Case.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kilokiilo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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The world has been taken storm by jokes exploiting the different possible meanings of words or the fact that there are words which sound alike but have different meanings.

Stay safe everyone. This is a global pundemic.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/chadnav
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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Pills for the bull

I recently spent $46,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.

Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day. The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine!

I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ...but they kind of taste like peppermint.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tfowler11
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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I was named after my dad

Because I couldnโ€™t possibly have been named before him

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/itsplanty
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
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I asked my nephew how old his dad was and he said โ€œsixโ€ and I said that canโ€™t be possible your six

He then said โ€œheโ€™s been a dad since I was bornโ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Drunk-kaboom8
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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When you work together, anything is possible...

Anyhing et al.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hisairnessag3
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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If Noah were to build a boat today, would it be steel?

Held together with ark welding.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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Tried to fit as many sushi puns in as possible
๐Ÿ‘︎ 21
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/robo_ship
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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Is it possible to get a skin graft from your butt?

Ass-skin for a friend.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/schwongs
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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How much room do fungi need to grow

As mushroom as possible

๐Ÿ‘︎ 99
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ivanshu
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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Possibly better than Quiz-lit
๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BBTL107
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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Whatโ€™s the best Christmas present you could possibly get?

A broken drum... you canโ€™t beat it

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KoronaSenpai
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Whatโ€™s the best Christmas present you could possibly get?

A broken drum... you canโ€™t beat it

๐Ÿ‘︎ 306
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CamWaters88
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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