Two pretzels walk down the street.

One was a salted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brunchminded
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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Why aren't pretzels counted as bread?

Because they're knot-bread.

πŸ‘︎ 808
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xenonthewizlard
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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Two pretzels are walking down the street

When one is suddenly assaulted

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oasishippie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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What secret society loves to eat pretzels?

The Illumi-Knotty

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BobIsMyCableGuy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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A bunch of rioters looted my pretzel shop.

Unfortunately, they got all my dough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RunescapeCoin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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What did the pretzel say when it was pulled out of the oven?

Gluten-tag!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Waffles_on_acid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Why did the pretzel file a police report?

Cause he got assaulted.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KillerRedPanda14
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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Did you know that pretzels are not bread?

*Knot bread

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mustwarnothers
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
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Kids dumped a whole bag of pretzels on me

I was so salty

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cenofwar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
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Do you guys like dark humor? 'Cause I got this joke about pretzels...

But it's pretty twisted.

πŸ‘︎ 202
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JinglesRasco
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2017
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Did I tell you the one about the pretzel?

It was assaulted.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/plmcalli
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
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How did the spaetzle greet the pretzel?

Gluten tag!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/static612
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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Joe walked by a bowl of pretzels in a lobby and got confused whe the pretzals said "you are very good at reading" You look Nice".Joe looked confused. The nearvy receptionist said "the pretzas are complimentary."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatspunnyxd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
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Detective movies often feature pretzels in them.

They both have a lot of twists.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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Did you hear what happened to the pretzel?

He was assaulted.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baby-Nugget
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
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Most pretzels are dough knots
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quenoquesoporque
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
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2 pretzels were walking down the street thru a dark alley.

One was a salted.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shortydog05
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2016
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A sandwich walks into a bar and orders some pretzels.

The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food here."

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunnyBunnyEmoji
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2017
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I never could figure out how they make the glaze on pretzels.

Turns out, there's a very basic solution for that problem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nuez_jr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2015
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Was making hot pretzels and went to talk to my dad...

Timer went off and I said I had to go knead my dough. Dad replies, "Your dough needs you."

Dammit, dad.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kepotter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2014
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Two pretzels...

...were walking down the sidewalk. One was asalted

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kritter826
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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Two pretzels were walking in a bad neighborhood

One was assaulted

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dannycorvette
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Two pretzels were walking down the street...

One got assaulted.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Passerby49
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Two pretzels are walking down the street

One was assaulted

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickant81
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Pretzels

They're knot bread

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Liv_Kato
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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Two pretzels walk into a bar

One was a salted

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/piatek30
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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So two pretzels are taking a walk down the street.

One is a salted.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2017
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